9.04.2007
Bad Old Habit
I worked late tonight. So did Ken. He called me just as I was getting ready to leave and said he wanted to go to dinner. I wasn't really hungry, but I agreed to go. I ordered a chef salad and ate the whole thing. MJ's makes large salads. Plus I ate some bread, even though I wasn't hungry. And then MaryJo gave us some Lemon Cake. Again, I wasn't hungry, but I ate it. I've fought long and hard for the last year to break these annoying habits. Eating for the sake of eating, not because of hunger. Now I feel bloated and fat and disappointed with myself. Dinner was delicious, but I really didn't need to eat it.
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2 comments:
It's ok Walt, tomorrow is another day. *hugs*
Food is a hard addiction to break. With anything else, you can quit cold turkey, so to speak. With food, you have to face it every day for the rest of your life. I had been good all week, then tonight I went to dinner with my friend Heather. I was going to be good, right up until I had a margarita, chips, queso dip, a chimichanga, and chocolate lava cake with chocolate sauce and vanilla ice cream. WTF?!?! I have absolutely no self control.
The thing is, I know in reality I am not fat at all anymore. I weight 123lbs and wear a size 4-6 depending on the cut of the clothes. But when I look in the mirror I still see the fat Holly, and I am scared to death that I will fall back into old habits.
Don't beat yourself up over one meal. We all do it from time to time.
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