Wow.  Two posts in two days.  What is this world coming to?  I guess it helps having Ken away.  The time I spend with him after we both get home from work has been put to better use.  I got all the playing online I wanted to do done, ate dinner, did the dishes and have a load of laundry in the dryer already.  So I've got a little extra time to kill for a change.

I will probably come off sounding like a callous, unfeeling bastard, but it's been so nice having him gone.  This week is going to fly by, so I better enjoy it while it lasts.  I'm the type of person who needs a lot more solitude than others.  I'm feeling supercharged by it already.

Anyway, I wanted to throw out this quick post about music.  I know I'm falling behind on my year by year posts and I'll get back to that shortly.  I just started my 1995 playlist today and what I heard today alone more than made up for 1994, which I found surprisingly dull.  But anyway...

I'm in love with the whole crowd funding trend that's been happening in music lately.  Jill Sobule really brought it to the forefront a few years back when she solicited fans to help her finance her new album at the time.  It was looked at as revolutionary and now it's becoming more and more common place.  In the mail today I got the new cd by Jon McLaughlin.  He's a singer songwriter from Indiana who I discovered maybe ten years ago when he had a major label deal.  I loved the stuff he was doing and have been following him ever since.  Like many artist today, he's no longer on a major label and he's doing things his own way.  Without a label looming over him, he can make the album he wants to make, but also, without a label looming over him, he doesn't have the funds to do it right.  So I pitched in and helped out.  And I'm thrilled it's here.  I've backed a few albums lately.  Brendan James' new album, Graham Colton's upcoming album, the last Matt The Electrician album.  I would have done the same with the new Handsome & Gretyl album, but I think they did it themselves.  Instead, if you purchase their album, they send you two so you can share one as a way to spread the word.  After I did that, they put the album up for free on NoiseTrade.com.  I highly recommend that website and that group.  I've found so much good stuff there.  And it's all totally free.

Old artists, new tricks.  Sheryl Crow and Elvis Costello have new albums out.  Both are trying some (slightly) new things with varying results.  Elvis teamed up with the Roots on his new album.  Just the thought of it scared me, but I have to tell you, it's probably his best album in years.  Elvis is to the point in his career where he can do pretty much whatever the fuck he wants to.  He's done everything from pure pop to classical.  This new album is probably the most Elvis Costello sounding album he's done in decades.  All the pretense has been stripped away and it's really back to classic Elvis basics.  Sheryl Crow, on the other hand, has decided to try country.  Not that her usual stuff is too far removed from country music.  You take any Sheryl Crow album, change the arrangements around just a little, throw in a steel guitar and you've got a country album.  But this time around she went for a full blown country album, or at least, what she thinks passes as a country album.  Sister tried way too hard and the album shows it.  She thinks throwing on a country accent makes a country album.  She's got the arrangements, she's got some more country oriented instrumentation, but the fake accent and the terribly written songs are what ruins it.  She tried writing what she thinks are country songs.  She should just write Sheryl Crow songs instead.  This thing has one or two passable songs, but over all, it's laughable.

This morning a woman sat down directly in front of me on the bus.  She was wearing what had to be an entire bottle of perfume.  It was so strong I started getting a headache from it.  Seriously, why do people do that?  Anyway, I posted a status update on Facebook about it.  Later on during the day, I was looking at FB again and I saw this:

What you're seeing is my update, a response and Syd Straw's name.  Syd Straw saw my post and like it.  Syd Motherfuckin' Straw.  I was giddy, to say the least.  I LOVE her so much.  In fact, she's coming to town this weekend and I'm going to go see her.  She never tours, at least not here.  When I saw she liked my post, I commented that if this is her way to get people to buy concert tickets, it worked!  And then I requested she play her song "Black Squirrel."  Imagine my surprise when she followed up with this:

She's gonna sing motherfuckin' "Black Squirrel" for me!!  It's Monday and I'm supposed to be crabby and unhappy because the weekend is over, but how can I be.  Syd Straw posted on my FB page AND took a request for this weekend's show.  I'm so far over the rainbow right now, I can't breathe.  I had to email my friend Sharon immediately to share/rub it in.

I looked on YouTube to see if there's a video for "Black Squirrel" but it looks like there isn't.  So here's her "hit single" "Future 40's (String Of Pearls)"


Didn't really find the time this week to sit down and type anything out.  I know I've forgotten a few things I wanted to write already.  These are the thoughts I still remember:

Thursday night was a very welcomed distraction.  I had tickets to see Josh Ritter again.  This is the second time this year.  The first time was on his pre-tour warm up tour.  He was doing a handful of dates before the new album came out to get his sea legs.  It was the first stop on the pre-tour and it was AMAZING.  This time around, the tour is officially over and he's starting up a new acoustic tour.  And again, this was the first date.  For some reason, when I saw it was an acoustic show, I assumed it was just him and his guitar.  But I was wrong.  He had two of his bandmates with him to play along.  But it was still acoustic and was superb.  There was very little overlap of songs between both shows.  Maybe four or five songs.  So that made it even better.  The opening act was Sam Amidon.  He's odd.  Very odd.  But utterly fascinating to watch on stage.  He's got a very monotone singing style.  Ken compared him, in some ways, to Andy Kaufman, which I can totally see.  I enjoyed the hell out of him.  The next day I did a little reading on him (thanks Wikipedia!) to discover that being a singer is probably the thing he's second most known for.  The first is that he's married to Beth Orton.  And he's ten or eleven years younger than she. *gasp*

I ended up being out very late (for me) on Thursday and didn't get home until about 11:40.  Since I get up before the sun, Friday was difficult because I was so tired.  I actually snapped at a co-worker who shot me with a rubber band.  I told her to cut it out and that I was in no mood for her shit today.  Me.  Non-confrontational me.  You know I was tired if I did that.

Back in April I took a promotional exam for work.  Five months later they finally posted the test scores.  Why it took five months is anyone's guess.  It's a multiple choice test where you color in the answer (A B C or D) with a pencil and they feed it through a machine to grade it.  Granted, it was a state wide test, but five months?  Whatever.  Anyway, the grades came out and I was hoping to pass with a decent score.  I got 100.  Yay me.

This weekend has actually turned out pretty well for me considering what this weekend is.  I emailed my sister earlier this week to see if she wanted to go out to lunch on Saturday.  She agreed.  Saturday is important because it's the second anniversary of Mom's passing.  I really didn't want to be alone, not saying that Ken isn't good enough, but I kind of wanted to spend a little time with my sister.  And we did.  And had a good time.  Until I made her cry in the restaurant.  All I did was toast Mom, but that was enough.  I quickly changed the subject to pizza and everything was good again.  I hate that Mom is gone.  I hate how she went.  I miss her every day.  But I don't know why this anniversary was easier.  I don't know if I just turned off that side of me for the weekend or what.  I did end up crying myself when I dropped Tina off at home and said goodbye.  It'll get easier, I know.  But it's still hard right now.

Today was amazing.  Mostly.  I got up at 5:30 this morning, which I didn't care for, to get Ken to the airport.  He is away this week and I'm not, but I'm fine with that.  He's on a head clearing solo cruise.  He wanted me to go with him, but I have a lot of time already scheduled off over the next couple of months that I couldn't really justify it.  But being home alone is a vacation for me.  I wish I didn't have to work, but I'll make due.  Today was supposed to be all about decompression, but it didn't work out like I planned.  Not to say it wasn't about decompression, though, because it was.  My thought was I was going to drop him off, go to the gym on the way home and then lay around the house the rest of the day.  It started off like that.  I did drop him off, I did go to the gym, but when I got home and was showering, I had a hankering for pancakes.  So I took myself out to breakfast.  And then ran some errands.  Then I came home and started cleaning.  Then took a walk.  Then cleaned some more.  And made dark chocolate banana bread with peanut butter and chocolate chips.  Then cleaned.  Then sat down to read and passed out for about 1/2 hour.  While it wasn't the lay-around-the-house-and-do-nothing day I was hoping for, it was still very therapeutic.  I'm looking forward to a very quiet week this week.  Because I'm looking forward to it, something will happen to derail it.  Meh.


Maybe I Just Don't Understand How Relationships Work

Really.  Maybe I have no clue as to what makes a healthy relationship.  I've been with Ken for nearly twenty years and I think we've got a great one, but from comments and remarks I hear from others, we're just doing it wrong.

Apparently, to have a healthy relationship, you must be joined at the hip with your partner 24/7.  Independent thought is unwelcome and independent activities is the worst crime you can commit.

Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but I just don't understand why a huge majority of my couples friends are not allowed to do anything without their other half.  If an opportunity comes up for one of them, it's often passed over because it's either only for one of them or one of them is unable to do it, so it's off the table.  I don't know how people can live like that.  I love Ken dearly, but if I had to spend every waking hour with him, I'd kill him.  I like to do things on my own as much as I like doing things with him.  If he's got a chance to do something but I'm not free to do it, I'd feel like dog shit if he had to miss out on it.  Case in point.. Next weekend he's taking off for a solo vacation.  He found a killer fare for a cruise out of Florida and he's going.  By himself.  He's asked me a few times if I wanted to go, and while I'd love to drop everything and take off for a week, I've got a lot of time already scheduled off at work over the next two months.  Adding another week was just not feasible.  Because I can't go, am I going to hold him back?  Hell no.  I'll miss him, but at the same time, I'm going to enjoy a little downtime just for me.  It's a win/win situation almost.

Anyway, many of my friends cannot wrap their heads around this concept.  I don't know why.  I don't know if it's a trust issue in their relationships or a control issue or what.  I'm not a therapist, so I can't answer that.  But seriously, is your relationship on such shaky ground that you can't do something on your own?

Four or five years ago I took a vacation away from Ken.  I flew to Texas to spend about a week and a half with my friend Freddy and his family.  Everyone Ken knows questioned him about this.  Seriously.  Why would I take off for such a long time without him?  One "friend" even went so far as to sit Ken down to let him know that the reason I went to Texas without him was to fuck around.  (Keep in mind this person's longest running relationship lasted about three weeks.)  Seriously.  What the fuck is wrong with people?  So even people not in a relationship think doing something without the other is wrong.

One of Ken's friends is an exception to the rule.  He thinks it's the greatest idea in the world.  He would love to do it.  But he's married and he can't even think about going to the grocery store alone without his wife flipping out.

Can someone explain to me why doing things apart, whether it's going to the store, visiting a friend or going on a vacation, is a cardinal sin?  I really don't get it.



So I had one of those rare weekends where I not only had some things going on, but I got stuff done and had a great weekend.  That stuff doesn't always go hand in hand, but this weekend it did.  

Good things started on Friday.  My bi-weekly delivery of comics came.  That's always the start of a nice weekend for me, the nerd that I am.  In my shipment were my first installment of DC's Villains Month books.  It's a lame event where DC Comics has suspended the publication of their entire line and replaced it with a set of books that tell the story of their villains.  Instead of Aquaman, we get a book about Black Manta, or instead of Batman, we get a book about the Joker.  You get the idea.  Part of the Villain Months celebration is DC published the books with special 3D Lenticular covers.  Only they fucked this up real good and didn't publish enough copies to fulfill their orders.  There are shortages of a lot of these books.  Luckily all of the ones I ordered came with the 3D covers, so I was pretty stoked about that.

Saturday morning I got up and headed for the gym early.  I had stuff to do and the sooner I got that out of the way, the better.  And all that sweat has been paying off.  I stepped on the scale on Saturday morning to see this:

It's the smallest number I've seen on the scale in my entire adult life.  I don't really have an explanation for it.  I haven't been pushing myself harder than usual to see it, but it happened.  I'm so proud of myself.  I've come a long way since seeing 300.5 on the scale.  Today I was back up to 191 after a weekend of carb loading, but I'm okay with it.

Saturday saw the return of FantaCon to Albany.  It used to be the regular nerd convention here years and years ago when FantaCo was still in business.  FantaCo was a comic book store and part-time publisher.  But they brought the convention back and I wanted to attend for a few reasons.  The first reason was some of my favorite locally based artists were going to be there and I'm going to miss them in November when the next Albany Comic Con hits.  (Damn vacation!)  I've been loving getting my sketch book filled.  The Albany shows are prime for this sort of thing.  I brought my sketch book to the New York Comic Con once and got nothing.  Everyone was so busy or booked up through the weekend that it made it impossible. Here's what I got this time:

Adam Strange by Fred Hembeck

Blue Devil by Matt Smith

Doc Stearn -- Mister Monster by Michael Gilbert

Michael Gilbert doesn't do NY area conventions usually as he lives in Oregon, so this was my one shot at getting something from him.  I used to love this comic back in the 80s.  And I've been wanting to revisit the book for about a year or so now (ever since I saw someone got a trade paperback of Mr. Monster stories at a previous Albany Comic Con) but the stuff has been out of print.  Luckily he still had a stack of trades for sale and I picked one up.

I also got a one of a kind sketch from Fred Hembeck.  I've known Fred for decades.  I used to work in a comic book store back in the 80s and he was a semi-regular customer.  So I've known him forever and over the past few years got back in touch with him.  We see each other a couple of times a year.  Anyway, he wanted to draw me something proper, so when I got to the convention, he had this waiting for me.  I absolutely love it.  LOVE IT.  I'm going to get a frame for it because I want that up on my wall.

Night Girl and Polar Boy from the Legion Of Substitute Heroes.  Awesome!

But I have to admit, the biggest draw for me was meeting Geri Reischl.  She's best known for playing Jan Brady on the Brady Bunch Variety Hour.  Fake Jan.  The real Fake Jan.  She was at the convention because it was not only comics, but also horror.  She's done a bunch of horror movies, most famously I Dismember Mama.  I've been following her on Facebook for a couple of years now and she's got a wicked sense of humor.  She doesn't take herself too seriously and she loves being Fake Jan.  She's sort of made a career out of it.  She's had a show called Fake Jan Sings For Real, she's done movies, she's done albums.  And she has fun with it all.

This is me, looking all dorky, with Fake Jan.  She's so tiny.  But she was very personable, she gave me a big ol' hug, we talked for a little while and I got her to sign my Brady Bunch Variety Hour dvd.  And not only did I get her assistant Mary to take out picture, Geri also gave Mary her camera to do the same.  I really can't say enough good things about Geri.  She was fantastic.  

She asked if it was alright to write "Fake Jan" above her picture.  Of course it was!!  She even gave me a Fake Jan button.  I think she sells them, but mine was free.  Yay free stuff!

And the other geeky thing that happened to me this weekend was the arrival of my first Nerd Block.

What's a Nerd Block, you ask?  Well, I'll tell you.  You know what a Birch Box is, right?  It's a mystery box you get in the mail once a month full of neat stuff.  Birch Box gives you hair & skin products, gadgets and other cool stuff.  Well, Nerd Block is the same thing, just with AWESOME shit.

Here is the stuff I got in my first delivery.  A Gremlins t-shirt, a TMNT Funko Pop Vinyl figure, a Big Bang Theory Mystery Box (I got a Wolowitz.  I wanted an Amy Farrah Fowler), a HeroClix firgure, Wacky Packages, some cell phone sticker.  Neat stuff.  I like it.  I can cancel my subscription at any time, but I think I'll keep it for the time being.  I like the idea.  I went on Instagram and looked up the #nerdblock to see what other people got.  The t-shirt was the same, the Pop Vinyl figure was different in everyone's box, but was a TMNT figure.  Same with the HeroClix.  Different ones in each box. And a Big Bang toy in every package, too.  I feel good about that, that every Nerd Block is basically the same for everyone.

Today I wore my Gremlins shirt and actually got a lot of compliments on it.  I mean, how can you not love Gremlins.

Sunday was good, too.  I got everything accomplished that I set out to do.  Laundry is done.  Dishes done.  Banana bread made (we had bananas that were about to go bad.)  Finished the book I was reading.  Dismantled my old desk chair that broke and has been sitting in the middle of my office floor for the last few months.  Lawn mowed.  I didn't intend on cleaning the house, though it really needs it.  I "French showered" the house, though.  Basically, ran a quick vacuum and picked up a little bit.  I'm ready for next weekend already.  I hope that doesn't make this week drag, though.  I don't know if I can stand that.



I just finished up listening to the 1993 playlist at work earlier this week.  So clearly I'm not catching up on these reminiscences any quicker than I'm listening to them.  After I finished up the '93 playlist, I decided to take a break from it for the rest of the week.  Instead of jumping into 1994, I made a playlist of all the unplayed songs that are 9mb or larger.  I know, I'm a freak, but I'm enjoying it.  A little bit of the 90s, a little bit of the 00s and a little bit of the 10s.  Tomorrow I'm starting 1994.  I'm anxious because that's the year everything changed.  That's the year Ken arrived on the scene.  I'm curious as to what memories come barreling through as I go through the songs of that year.

1983 doesn't look to be too different from 1982.  I finished up my junior year of high school and entered my senior year.  There are a lot of songs that bring me back to high school.  The thing that brings me the most joy about 1983's music is the brief insurgence of Neue Deutsche Welle into mainstream America's consciousness.  Neue Deutsche Welle, in other words, is German New Wave.  The new wave scene was pretty big in Germany and a few artists managed to crossover in America with German language hits.  Nena's "99 Luftballons" and Peter Schilling's "Major Tom" and Falco's "Rock Me Amadeus" all hit pretty big in the US.  Peter Schilling didn't get too much airplay with the German version of "Major Tom," but Nena did get as much German language airplay as English.  German was my favorite class in high school, so this is why I particularly loved hearing this music.  But I'm probably getting ahead of myself.  Nena's album wasn't released here until 1984, though the German album that "99 Luftballons" came from came out in Europe in 1983.  And Falco's breakthrough didn't come about until 1985.  But this is where it started.  And it started a life long obsession with German New Wave stuff.  I wish I was more versed in it, but I'm happy with what I've discovered over the years.

My lp purchases were starting to show a change in direction from previous years.  Sure, there's still pure through and through pop music like Billy Joel and the Pointer Sisters (man, I wore that record out), but Culture Club and Human League were paving the way to my growing obsession with New Wave and Brit Pop.  And I won the both SYNCHRONICITY and THE CROSSING in radio call-in contests.  Those two albums I also wore out.  And until that point, my entire collection, little as it was, was strictly vinyl.  The Police and Big Country albums were both cassettes.

Looking back at the songs and albums in my 1983 folder brings me so much joy.  There are too many things about that year to love and very little not to.  Aztec Camera, Kim Wilde, The Waitresses, Heaven 17, the first Madonna album, Ultravox, XTC, Paul Young, New Order, Laura Branigan, The Fixx, The Motels, Cyndi Lauper, Violent Femmes..... I could go on and on.



I'm emotional.  I'm not saying it as if it's news, I'm just stating it as a fact.  If you know me, you know that as much as I try to pretend I'm an evil, unfeeling douchebag, I'm actually really sensitive and I let my emotions rule my world.  Sometimes it's amazing to live like that, sometimes it's frustrating as hell.  Right now it's both.  

I'm not sure where to start this.  Because it's really two different parts of my life smashing head on into each other.  I guess the real starting point was the end of August.  One of the best friends I have made a random Facebook posting about maybe getting married.  I was at the gym when I saw it and it just started my mind racing.  RACING.  On the drive home, I couldn't not think about the possibility.  He's a Texas resident and there is no marriage equality there.  But he's coming to New York in October for Comic Con and here in New York, not only do we have marriage equality, but there's also on residency restriction on getting married.  So my mind raced.  "October is so close.  It's only about six weeks (at the time) away.  I was supposed to get married in October originally, but it didn't happen.  It didn't happen because Mom passed away.  And she wasn't sick for very long.  And it was Labor Day weekend when she ended up in the hospital.  And tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of her going in."  By this point, I was crying.  Tears streaming down my face at a red light.  I didn't realize that I was only a day away from the day Mom went into the hospital.  It's the first time I've cried about her since she passed away.  And then I got home and cried some more.  And some more.  Ugly Tammy Faye Bakker crying.

Over the course of the next few days, I could feel the inevitable numbness creeping in.  The year she went into the hospital I was pretty numb the entire month of September.  I thought I was doing pretty good until September hit last year and it started all over again.  And here we are in September again and I can feel it.  But it's not nearly as extreme as the last two years.  And I think an awful lot has to do with the upcoming wedding.  I find myself smiling and tearing up for no reason when I'm thinking about it.  Weddings are not supposed to bring me joy.  Weddings are a great big pain in the ass.  And maybe because the years of my life that are the "Wedding Years" I would be invited and attend these events knowing full well it was just a one way street.  I would never have a wedding because I like boys.  Boys can't marry boys.  But who ever thought in our lifetime that would change?  I never thought it would.  Even when it started to look real, the measure kept failing to pass and not getting enough votes to go into law.  So even when it looked like it might be a possibility, I was kind of relieved that it still probably wasn't going to happen.  But it passed and I was faced with my own wedding.  And I have to say, it was the single happiest day of my life.  I got the wedding that I wanted, no interference from anyone.  It was small, it was low key, it was easy.

But I'm getting off topic.  This upcoming wedding has sent me to the opposite extreme of the emotions I've been fighting off.  And it's leveled me and centered me.  I'm feeling less numb, less gloomy gus, less like I need to hide than I thought I was going to feel.  Sure, I have down moments, but they're usually followed by gleeful ones, too.  

I'm looking forward to this more than I can say.  And I'm looking forward to creating a tighter bond with two friends.  I'm actually not referring to the happy couple.  At least, not both of them.  But one of the grooms and another newlywed.  Both were invited to my shindig so we got to spend my wedding weekend together.  A couple months I got to hang out with both the upcoming groom and the newlyweds on their wedding weekend.  And now the three of us are going to spend a third wedding weekend together.  I think it's kind of fucked up and I smile every time I think about it.

And as much as I wish I was dead on the inside, I can't imagine living my life any less emotionally nutso than I currently do.


This Is Me 2013

I've been trying to put this post together in my head for a while now.  I just needed to find the time to actually sit down and figure out what I'm going to write.  I think I just got partially derailed, but we'll see.

  • Well, I'm easily derailed.  I was just finishing up commenting on a friend's blog when Ken called me.  On the phone.  From upstairs.  And then wouldn't get off the phone.  As soon as I managed to get him off the phone, but before I could finish typing up the blog comment, he yelled downstairs to me to reboot the cable box.  Seriously.  I unplugged it and then couldn't find the slot to plug the power cord back in.  And then he decides to yell down "helpful hints."  I'm already not in the mood for human interaction as it is.  Oi!  I know I snapped at him and now I feel both annoyed and shitty.
  • I try to live my life to the best of my ability, but I don't always succeed.  Previous bullet point is a prime example.  I didn't need to snap, but I did.  But I own my actions and don't blame them on others.  I just try to do better the next time.
  • On Sunday, I had my best single weigh in of the last 365 days.  Not my best weigh in ever, but the best one in a long time.  It's sometimes hard to believe I've lost over 110 lbs by myself, without any help from fancy diets or surgery or any of that stuff.  
  • I have no respect for people who say "can't" when the real word is "won't."  Especially when it comes to losing weight.  "I can't lose any weight no matter how hard I try" while stuffing your face full of McDonald's or M&Ms?  Gee, I wonder why.  People are lazy except for when it comes to making excuses.  "I can't get to work on time" is another prime example.  Why?  You're up three hours before you're supposed to be there posting on Facebook.  I'm just sick and tired of lazy.
  • John Grant is my favorite newish singer in a long time.
  • I cried for the first time late last week about my Mom since she died two years ago.  I've been holding a lot of grief inside, unable to find a way to get it out.  I know this is only the tip of the iceberg, and I welcome it.
  • Although I think my self-confidence and self-esteem are at an all-time high, I still sometimes wonder what people see in me.  I have such blinders on to that.  I would love to see what others see in me.  I live in my head 24/7, so I overlook the good things, I think, and obsess on the things about myself that drive me crazy and that I need to work on.  
  • I get angry at my body a lot.  It makes me mad that I waited until I was in my 40s before I finally got off my ass and got healthy.  I spent decades as an obese man working retail.  A 300 lbs man should not spend 10 hours a day on his feet.  I did so much damage to my body during those years, my body won't rebound back from some of it.  My feet and knees are not the happiest parts of me these days.  And when I'm aching, it really frustrates me more.
  • I should never be allowed to look at myself in anything but a full length mirror.  I still have body issues and when I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, I only see the top half of me and I don't like what I see.  When I see myself in a full length mirror, I see my entire body in proportion and suddenly everything looks great.
  • I don't remember the date, but sometime in mid to late August last year was the last time I knowingly ate meat.  I've made it an entire year and some days without eating an animal.  I didn't know if I could do it, but look at me.  And the longer I go, the sicker it makes me when I think of where meat comes from.  We were watching an episode of Two Fat Ladies recently and Jennifer and Clarissa went to a pig farm to get some pork.  And they showed a bunch of happy piggies frolicking in a meadow.  It saddened me to know they were about to be slaughtered.  Now don't get me wrong, I bet those pigs were delicious, but I just can't get past the slaughter part.  No matter how much I miss bacon, I don't know if I can ever go back.
  • Almost everyone I know drinks.  A lot.  Or at least a lot more than me.  This past holiday weekend I had two beers.  That's a lot for me (unless I'm at a party or some special event), but most people I know will do more than that in the course of a normal day.  In my early 20s, that was no big deal, but in my late 40s, I'm not interested.  If I'm going to fill my body with empty calories, give me some chocolate instead.
  • I used to be a heavy duty podcast listener, but I'm down to about two or three that I listen to on a regular basis.  For the most part, I just don't have much interest anymore.  But the shows I like, I don't miss ever.
  • I don't read as many comic books as I used to.  Ever since DC Comics rebooted it's entire line, the number of titles I read keeps getting smaller and smaller.  I understand the reasoning for the reboot.  Their books had become too continuity-laden for them to attract new readers, or so they said.  The idea behind the reboot was to strip things back to basics and go from there.  Unfortunately they've interconnected the books so tightly and given them all such poorly thought out back stories, the books are more heavily continuity-laden than ever before.  Plus, they keep changing their minds about things mid-stream making things even more confusing.  Hawkman's backstory has changed a couple times already.  Martian Manhunter and his role in the Justice League has been contradicted a number of times in the two years since the reboot.  And now the mess with Lobo.  It shouldn't be this messy.
  • Drugged out Judy Garland may be the greatest singer of all time.
  • "Obligation" is my least favorite word in the entire English language.
  • It amuses me to no end when people say things on Facebook or other social media outlets more to convince themselves of something rather than other people.  There are only so many times you can post about how much in love you are or what a wonderful man you've got or how amazing your life is going when in reality I've seen with my own eyes how untrue that is.  Maybe they should rename Facebook "Desperate cry for validation" book.
  • I'm cynical, but I don't care.
  • Next month marks the five year anniversary of the last time I had a soda.
  • There were a bunch of other things I had in my head for this post, but they're gone.  I supposed this is enough for now.  It's my state of mind currently.