I almost missed this entry. Trying not to get sidetracked.

I haven't added the days up in a while, but I did today. I have gone 151 days since my last soda. I can't believe it's been this long. Tomorrow is the last day of the month and it will be my fifth full month without a soda. I've had two dreams in the last 151 days about drinking soda. In both dreams I was out at a restaurant and half way through my glass before I remembered I wasn't drinking soda. Weird, huh?

Okay, I'm distracted. I go now.


Where Does The Time Go?

I really do have good intentions. I try to post daily if I can, trying not to go more than two days in between posts, but lately, I just don't seem to be doing it.

I'm in a foul mood. I left work tonight with plans on what I wanted to do. Cook a chicken for dinner, do some laundry, try to secure a golden ticket to Archerr's group show. Did I do any of that? No. Five minutes after getting on the bus, my phone rings. It's Ken. He says he's at MJ's On the Avenue and Mary Jo is with him and has to talk to me. I'm thinking "what the fuck?" as she gets on and starts rambling. And rambling. I don't even know what the fuck she's talking about. Long story short, the front bumper on my car fell off again. A few months ago Ken parked in a parking lot a little too deep into the parking space. He parked over one of those cement dividers. Backing the car out of the spot, it caught on the divider and ripped the bumper panel off. I haven't had it properly fixed yet. And it happens again tonight. The car is at the dealer as we speak, getting fixed first thing in the morning.

And we sort of bickered about it tonight. He feels bad, I feel bad. He's too co-dependent for his own good. I'm too passive-aggressive for mine. It's a dangerous combination.

So I'm going to take my pissy ass into the bedroom, put on Big Brother and feel better about myself watching these idiots and morons.



I just weighed in and saw that I'm still at 203. This is the third week in a row (and first official weigh in with my new scale!!) and I was expecting better. For most of the week, I was at 200. I was hoping to still be there today, but no such luck. My weekend eating habits saw to that. What's frustrating is I've been pretty much stagnant since my January 20th weigh in. I was 202 then, followed by a couple of weeks at 204 and now three at 203. I know I should be happy with where I'm at, and I am, but I really, really want to reach the finish line of this race. After than, I can bounce up and down the couple of pounds that everyone does to my heart's content, but for now, I just want to accomplish this mammoth task. I guess what I really need to do is concentrate more on my weekend eating than my weekday. I seem to have Sunday through Thursday pretty much under control.

We recorded our 7th podcast yesterday, but it really sucked. I don't think any of us came close to hitting the target with it. We're probably going to scrap the whole thing and start fresh in a couple days.

I took a mental health day on Thursday and went down to spend the day with my friend Todd. Somehow, we've managed to go about a year without seeing each other. We're both fairly busy (well, he is... I'm just lazy) and just never got a chance to get together. The thing with Todd is, I may have not seen him for a year, but about 5 seconds after seeing him, it's like that year disappeared. We did our usual thing, grabbed lunch, went to the comic shop and hung out. I don't really have anyone I can talk about comics to in real life anymore. Sure, there's lots of ways to do it online and stuff, but no one I can hang out with and shoot the shit about this or that. If you're not a comics person, this probably sounds really silly.

I'm trying to catch up on tv watching. I just don't allow myself as much time to watch as I should. I'm too addicted to the internet, I guess. Last night I finished up Dynasty Season 1 on dvd. I got the first two seasons for Christmas, and I'm anxious to start the second season. Matthew Blaisdel is gone and Alexis arrives. It should get good now. Watched the second episode of the new season of Torchwood, too. I'm still 5 episodes behind but should be able to get to those soon. So far it's turning out to be much better than the first season. The first season was good as long as you didn't think about the plots too deeply or you'd realize the show was beyond ludicrous. The plot holes still seem big this season, but not as big.

During lunch at work, I'm currently reading this. Over 500 pages of Adam Strange. What's not to love?


Friday's Video

I know I should be more mature than this, but this video made me laugh so loud, Ken called from the other room to make sure I was alright. Sad, huh?



Got home from work tonight and there was an email from Carol. The email itself was something Matt had sent Carol and asked her to forward it to me. A couple of news reports about our friend Charlie. Charlie died last year and that's what these stories were about. This is the first any of us, as far as I can tell, have heard about it. Matt & Charlie graduated from college here and today Matt got his alumni newsletter in the mail. That's where he read the news. I'm still feeling numb about it. I really don't know what to think.

I met Charlie back in the late 80s. My friend Gish met him at school, and in turn, so did I and so did the rest of the gang. We became good friends when I moved to Albany in 1990. After he graduated, he moved back to Long Island and we drifted apart. It's only natural. We would see each other occasionally over the years, but never with any regularity. Whenever he was in town, we'd get together and go out.

Charlie was a good man. I'm not just saying that because he's gone, I'm saying it because it's true. Think about all of your friends. Can you say that about all of them? No, of course you can't. You know the ones who are good people, the ones who have petty tendencies, the ones who are assholes, but they're your friends all the same. Charlie was a good man. He's going to be missed.


So Much For That

I wasn't going to sit on the computer much at all today. But that didn't quite pan out the way I wanted. There's always tomorrow.

Weighed in at 203 again today. Having a little trouble dropping those last couple of pounds. Having access to candy at work and then falling back into some old (bad) eating habits certainly doesn't help. I need to limit my french fry intake to a maximum of once a week. That may help.

Bought a new digital scale today. I've been looking at them for months, got really serious about getting one in the last month or so and took the plunge today. The last time I bought one was right at the beginning of my diet. Our old one worked, or so I thought, until that fateful doctor's appointment where I found out I weighed 300.5 lbs. My scale at home was much, much kinder. It got thrown out that day and I bought a new scale. Only I had a panic attack when I stepped on it for the first time and found out I was too fat to be measured. It went back the very next day and I bought the analog scale. While I love that scale, it's not great for getting an exact reading. It's sometimes hard to tell if I weigh 203, 202 or 204. I take my best guess at it. Now with the digital, I'll know for sure. This one registers weight to the 1/10th of a pound. That's nice. I'm scared to weigh myself on it for fear of finding out the analog scale was being kind. I'll find out first thing in the morning. But until next Sunday, I weigh 203 pounds.

Tomorrow is a free day off of work. I'm very happy about this. I've started to get used to having all these fake holidays off of work. When I was in retail, I dreaded them. All these annoying people would shop like crazy all weekend and then come back out in full force on Monday. How much fucking shopping can one person do? Now that I'm on the other side of that fence, I've been loving them. This is the last one until the end of May, though. I'll miss them. Also, last week we got a floating holiday for Lincoln's birthday. I usually hold on to my floaters for a while, but I'm going to use it on Thursday. I haven't seen my friend Todd in probably a year. I'm going down to spend the day with him. I miss him like crazy.


Random Pictures

Some pics I found when cleaning out my hard drive.

Me, drunk off my ass and my friend Cindy having to put up with it. Circa 1990.

Me at my heaviest. Not a pretty picture. Of me, that is. Dancing with Lori. Lynn is fighting the power in the back.

I'd like to thank the Academy... Me and my friend Ken's Emmys.

At a party or a wedding or something. My expression seems to be saying "take the fucking picture already." I really like this pic, even though it's nto all that great.

My sister and I riding the Comet at The Great Escape in Lake George. I'm so not pretty in this pic.

An experiment in hiding my chins. Learning to pose to make myself look thinner. This was probably 1996 or 1997.

Circa 1995. Not. A. Morning. Person.

This is 1994, shortly after Ken and I met. I look so young and so thin, though I'm thinner now by 30 pounds than when this was taken.

I think this is probably 1991 or 1992. The lady in the picture is Andrea Marcovicci. Google her if you don't know her. (And I miss that sweater.)

My Simpsons avatar.

Me in front of Expedition Everest at Disney's Animal Kingdom last September.

Someone got wet.

Sexy? Not with that hairline.

Lame attempt at looking cool.


Jesus Beware


I have a podiatrist appointment this morning at 8 am. It's my second of seven shots to the foot to alleviate the pain the neuroma causes. If this was just a one shot deal, I would have taken the whole day off today, but since I have to so this for a month and a half, I don't want to use up all of my sick time. I scheduled this appointment as early as possible so I could get to work as early as possible. I just got a call. They want to move my appointment to 9:10 because we had a bad snow and ice storm last night. I got my ass out of bed an hour early because I knew I would have to shovel and take a little extra time getting there. The storm isn't a surprise. We knew it was coming. Even my reminder call last night said that there was a storm, so if I couldn't make it, please call. I went out of my way to be responsible, why couldn't the fucking podiatrist? I want to get this over with and get to work. If I would have known this in advance, I could have slept in a little longer. Grrrrrrr..... Can you tell I'm cranky this morning?

Big Brother started last night. I'm glad it's back, though I'm overwhelmed by how much of a commitment it's going to be. Three nights a week, just like in the summer, but with all my other shows added on top. It's too early for me to really know who these people are yet. Give me a week or so and I'll be up to speed.

Ken's in Texas on business right now. He flies home tonight. Last night he wandered into the Hard Rock Cafe and ran into someone he knew. Well, he knew her, but she didn't know him. It was Nakomis from Big Brother a couple of seasons ago. We're both big fans of her. He got all fan-girly around her. He said that she was super nice and really tiny. He got two pictures. This on was with his cell phone. There's another one with his co-worker's camera, but I haven't seen that one yet.



Not much to report. Don't really have anything to say. I need to go make the bed is what I need to do. Stripped both beds and did up the sheets. I love fresh sheet night. Nothing nicer.

Anyway, today's weigh in was neither as good nor as bad as it could have been. Official weight for the week is 203. That golden ring is so close. Maybe one more week? I just need to start avoiding the fries again. I've been indulging way too much the last couple of weeks and I know it. Knowing it is half the battle. The easy half, but half nonetheless.


Obsession Of The Week

First thing I do everyday when I get online is go straight to Facebook to play Scrabulous. I generally have 5 or 6 games going at any one time. Can't get enough. If you're on Facebook, start a game with me.



I stepped on the scale this morning, as I do every morning, and got quite a jolt. The scale registered 200 pounds. For real. I was so excited to see this that I ran for the digital camera to take photographic proof. What I didn't realize is that taking a picture while standing on the scale isn't the easiest thing to do. I guess if I actually fixed the settings to take a decent picture, I would have had better results. Anyway, here are my two attempts to take a picture of the scale. I know I'll probably be closer to the 204 I was last week when I weigh in on Sunday, but I'm basking in the glory of hitting my goal for now. Of course, tonight we went out to celebrate/sabotage. I haven't had mozzarella sticks in a while, so it was well worth it. I'll self-loathe tomorrow.

In other news, I started the series of shots to my foot today to kill the neuroma in it. We're only doing my left foot for now, since that is by far the worst foot. I'll be getting a shot of alcohol into my foot once a week for seven weeks. By the end of the shots, the nerve the neuroma is on should be dead and the discomfort will be gone. I'm hoping this goes smoothly. I'm getting sick of foot issues and want to get back to wearing non-sensible shoes on a more regular basis. Especially because Ken came back from his business trip yesterday with a little giftie for me. A pair of Converse All-Star High Tops in tweed. So very dressy!


iTunes Questionaire

How many songs total: 29,945
How many hours or days of music: 78.8 days

Most recently played: "Half A Heart" by Jill Sobule
Most played: "Watching Without Words" by Alexander Schultz
Most recently added: "Emotional Rescue"

Sort by song title
First Song: "A-Hunting We Will Go" by Hem
Last Song: "99.9 F°" by Suzanne Vega

Sort by time
Shortest Song: "Interlude: Let's Dance" by Janet Jackson :04
Longest Song: "I'm Sorry That I Got Fat" by the Wesley Willis Fiasco 32:15

Sort by album
First album: "ABBA" by ABBA
Last album: "99.9 F°" by Suzanne Vega

First song that comes up on Shuffle: "Somebody Stand By Me" by Stevie Nicks

Search the following and state how many songs come up:
Death - 19
Life - 448
Love - 2,658
Hate – 84
You - 3,944
Sex – 117



Was today a holiday? It sure felt like it at work. Half the office was out. It was so damn quiet and I liked it. I remember reading recently that the day after Super Bowl Sunday is the single most skipped workday of the year. I think it's rather pathetic, but it's true. More people call out sick today than any other day. I guess it's okay, because we are a country of people who don't take responsibility for our actions. Hmmmm, Sunday night? Let's drink heavily because football is on. Makes me sick.

Today is the 18 month anniversary of my diet. As my friend Alex pointed out, I didn't post a weight update yesterday. I forgot. Anyway, I have to go with Sunday's weight as my official and yesterday I was 204 again. Didn't gain, didn't lose. That's okay. However, this morning I was 201. I really wish that today was my official day. I'd feel extra good about myself all week, knowing full well that I'd be back to 204 by next Sunday.

The cd uploading is finished. Finally. I wasn't going to kill myself getting that last stack uploaded, but I sat here and did the whole thing anyway. To recap, I've got 29,945 songs on the computer now, though I'm sure there are still a bunch of duplicates that I haven't found yet. Is there something in iTunes that tells you how many artists or number of albums you have? I'd like to know, but only if there's an easy way.


It's Been A Week?

Wow. I haven't posted anything here since last Sunday. I really don't know how that happened? I would have thought three days, maybe four. Not a whole week. Sorry to both of the people who read this. :)

Anyway, I've had a productive day so far. The clock on my computer says it's 8:32am as I type this. I've managed to bring Ken to the airport, go walk for an hour, do my grocery run, clean the kitchen and start laundry. At the rate I'm going, I'll be in bed by 6 tonight. The paper should be here any minute now. I'll check through the flyers and see if there's anything worth leaving the house for today (I'm guessing no, but you never know). I need to print off my state tax form and do that today. I'm feeling really productive and it scares me.

On Thursday night, I uploaded what I thought was the last of my cds in my massive uploading-to-iTunes project. I felt really good. Then on Friday I found a couple I missed. And on Saturday, I pulled the couple of mix cds I had that I had to type the tracks in that I was too lazy to do earlier. Then I was done. Until this morning. When I was in the basement doing laundry, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the small tote of cds I put down there that I had forgotten. So one more batch and I'm done. There are about 50 discs sitting on my desk right now. I'm not going to chain myself to my desk uploading them today. I'll do what I can and save the rest for this week. This should but me just over the 30,000 song point, I believe.

Today has been very positive so far, but the weekend didn't start out that way. Friday night I got home to find a reminder on my voice mail about my doctor's appt on Monday. Following that was another call from the doctor's office cancelling my appt. This annoyed me. I mean, nothing like waiting until the last minute to cancel on me, right? They have hours on Saturday, so I called yesterday to reschedule. The first that's available is Friday afternoon, so I took it. So now I'm taking Friday off. What annoyed me was I was all hyped up for a three day weekend *this* weekend, not next.

Then, yesterday, I went to walk on the treadmill. About 20 minutes into my walk, a song came on that I didn't want to hear, so I pulled my iPod out of my pocket to advance the track, lost my footing and started to fall back. I didn't actually fall, but I did manage to break a piece off the back of the treadmill that holds the tread up. I broke the treadmill! I'm so annoyed. At least it was free in the first place.

We recorded our second podcast yesterday. I really didn't have any nerves about it this time. I don't know if that means it's going to be better or worse. I haven't listened to it yet. I'll probably save it for work tomorrow. We did have Skype issues, I know that. Hopefully the content itself isn't that bad.

I was listening to the AmeriNZ podcast this morning on my walk. One of the stories Arthur talked about was really interesting to me, especially being the age I am. While I'm not 44, I'm closing in on it. It explains a lot. http://au.news.yahoo.com/080130/21/15oo4.html