6,997

6,997. That's how many page hits my blog has gotten since I added the widget that counts that kind of thing. How is that possible? This blog isn't interesting enough to warrant that kind of traffic. I need to find a widget that tells me how people get here, because it's certainly not to read this crap.

Anyway, I wasn't going to put a post up because I just finished up my November Challenge and today would have been a nice day to take a break. It's nice not having the pressure on me to pump one of these out every day. Clearly you could tell I was stretching for things to post about half way though. But I changed my mind and decided to post anyway. Hope it's worth it for you to listen to what a mess I am.

Today I had jury duty. It's the second time I've been summoned for this, but the first time I've actually had to report for it. The first time, about six years ago (give or take), I called the phone number and there must not have been any trials going on because I was told not to report, but to call the next day. I did that, was told not to report, but again, to call the next day. That third day I was officially excused. This time turned out to be different. I called and was told to report. Ken decided to bring me downtown and drop me off at the courthouse. Only problem was the building I was told to report to was closed for renovations. So Ken, doing what Ken does best, freaks out and drives around the block again. And again. All he needed to do was to let me out to figure it out, but he's too much of a control freak for that to happen. Which led to a mini spat.

Anyway, I walked around, figured out where to go and foudn a seat away from everyone else. And started waiting. Luckily I had a full slate of podcasts today (I love you, Laura and Neil) and got through a bunch of them before announcements were made. They were choosing juries for three seperate trials today. Instantly panic overtook me. I didn't want to be there in the first place, now it looks like I'm not going home anytime soon. I don't know how this whole process works and I'm fighting an anxiety attack. The room was then split up into groups and told which court room to report to. I was sent to the third floor with about 80 other people. I took my seat and the festivities began. Twenty-one people were selected at random to go sit in the jury box to be interviewed. I was not one of the first twenty-one. I was, however, panicking enough for all twenty-one. The panic was very irrational, but I was in the midst of it and tried calming myself down. And I did, a little, while this group was being evaluated. The judge explained what was going on, then had everyone stand up, state their name, where they worked, if they were married, where their spouse worked, if they had children and the ages, where they lived and if they were active in any clubs or organizations. The judge next asked a series of questions, followed by the two attorneys. Once this was all done, the attorneys and the judge conferred and picked the jurors. I was hopeful that all twelve plus both alternates would be in this bunch. But I'm dumb like that. Of the first twenty-one (actually, it was more like twenty-five... a couple people didn't make it all the way through the questioning before being excused... others were picked to replace them, causing my heart to beat quickly and my blood pressure to raise), only six made it to the jury. Damn!

At this point, the judge called for lunch, so I tried to put everything out of my head for the next hour. I can tell you I had to force myself to eat. I was nauseaus and the thought of food wasn't very appealing, but I needed to eat. I really don't know why I let myself get all worked up over stupid things like this. Part of it is I don't know how this whole thing works and I am horrified of the unknown. Irrational fear is never fun to deal with.

After lunch, the process started all over again. Twenty-one more people were called. Two people managed to weasel out of it before all twenty-one were seated, so two more were called. And I was again completely panic struck that my name was going to be called. Again, it wasn't. So as the process was going on again, I started to calm myself down. I knew they were going to be able to find eight more people in this group. I just knew it. Eight out of twenty-one. No problem. Only it didn't happen. They found seven. They still needed one more, or so I thought, but apparently one of the six from round one was now out because the judge said that two more were actually needed. There were only twenty-nine of us left (I counted) when it came time for round three. Now I'm freaking again, but not as bad because I knew it was inevitable now. I was trying to concentrate on that. The judge decided that since only two more were needed, he was only going to bring twelve people up for round three. And somehow my name still managed not to be called. Only looking at this group, I could see only one person who was for sure going to be on the jury. The rest I wasn't so sure about. But I was wrong, both alternates were found and I was excused.

It took me about another half hour to really get my bearings back. And once I was feeling better, that's when the colossal headache hit. It's five hours later and my head is still throbbing. I hate being such a fucking mess sometimes. I think I have stuff under control a vast majority of the time, but then something like this comes along and I lose my shit. It was fucking jury duty. That's it. Nothing else but jury duty. No one was dying. I didn't lose my arm in a freak combine accident. My cats didn't get hit by a bus. No one was stabbing me repeatedly with a knife. It was jury duty. I swear, I am my own worse enemy. I cause myself so much undue stress and sometimes I just don't know how to stop it.

But enough of that. I told you I'm a mess.

In other news, I mentioned yesterday that Ken has booked us a cruise for next year. I also mentioned that I haven't heard about anything but the cruise since he booked it. I didn't mention that I've heard about this cruise at least three or four days a week for the last year and a half. Well, first thing this morning, while getting ready to leave the house, I heard all about the cruise. I heard about how Ken was thinking about booking a different room. He was also thinking about booking a different date. I also heard about it the entire ride to the courthouse. And when I got home tonight, I heard all about the cruise. I heard about how he cancelled the cruise, booked a new cruise on a different cruise line for a different date. Then I got to see the difference in how the rooms look from one catalog to another. I'm officially sick to death of this cruise. All I asked him for today was one day off from cruise talk. Is that asking too much? The new cruise is a few days more than a year away. I think I'm entitled to a day with no vacation talk.

And finally, today's Christmas song is a little ditty by Winston Hewitt called "Disco Santa." Yes, it's that good.

"Disco Santa" - Winston Hewitt