November Challenge - Completed

I still feel like crap. My voice is still a mess. And Ken won't leave me the fuck alone. Everytime I say something, it's in response to him asking me something, to which he replies that I should rest my voice. HOW THE FUCK CAN I REST MY VOICE IF YOU WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE? And when I don't answer, I just get asked again. Shoot me now. I'm begging you.

I usually get up early on Sundays to go for my walk, but I just couldn't today. Besides feeling like crap, I couldn't fall asleep last night. Again. Even with NyQuil. All this adds up to extra crabby Walt. Hurrah.

And with that being said, I would like to formally announce that either Ken or I will be dead before this time next year. Ken booked us a cruise for one year from yesterday. We've never been on a cruise before and he's been talking about it for years and years and years. He finally booked one and for the last 48 hours, I've heard nothing else but about the cruise. Midway through writing this, he came in my office for 25 minutes to tell me all about how what we can and can't bring on the boat. This thing is a year away. Do I really need to know anything about it now? Seriously. The next 364 days are going to be torture.

Today's Christmas song is from the band Over The Rhine. It's from their fabulous Christmas album called Snow Angels. I want to thank the ever fabulous Laura Smith for turning me on to this treasure.

"All I Ever Get For Christmas Is Blue" - Over The Rhine

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Nine

I'm going to make this short. I'm still feeling pretty crappy and I don't want to sit on the computer all day (well, yes I do want to sit on the computer all day, but I really shouldn't. Being offline most of yesterday was painful. It's made me realize exactly how addicted to the internet I am. And that's why I don't want to sit on the computer all day....). I have things around the house that I could do and should do, like putting a dent into my backlog of trade paperbacks, or watching some of the dvds I just bought. Simple, non-taxing things.

I slept for about twelve hours last night. I really needed it. Between the stress of the last week and the strep, I was completely spent. The way I'm feeling now, I could probably lay down and take a nice nap, too. And I just might.

Even though it goes against Rule Number One, I want Ken to take me out to dinner tonight. It's the least I deserve, right? I barely ate anything yesterday, mostly because swallowing anything hurt. Swallowing still hurts right now, but luckily the antibiotics have kicked in and the pain is less severe than yesterday. Oh, what's Rule Number One, you ask? Well, Rule Number One about me is that when I'm sick, LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE. When I am sick, I can't stand anyone bothering me, babying me, coddling me. I kind of wish everyone else on the face of the earth was dead. What's funny about this is Ken is the complete opposite. When he's sick, he demands 150% attention and babying. This usually is a problem, because when he's sick, I like to apply my Rule Number One to him and leave him the fuck alone. When I'm sick, he hovers over me. It's best in my house when no one is sick.

I was very happy that I caught up on most all of my email earlier in the week, but it's starting to build up again and I just don't have the energy right now. Maybe later or tomorrow.....

Today's Christmas song is one of my all-time favorites. It's "Christmas Wrapping" by the Waitresses. I used to love the Waitresses. Still do, in fact. I could listen to them everyday if I could. I'm still really bummed out that Patty Donohue died (has it really been 12 years already?). Anyway, here's today's song.

"Christmas Wrapping" - The Waitresses

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Eight

...or "How I Spent My Black Friday Morning"

Did you ever watch FRIENDS? I used to love the show and watched it religiously for most of it's run. I remember Monica's father had the saying "pulled a Monica" which meant that someone did something that turned out wrong or worse. Well, over the years, Ken has adopted that and changed it to "pulled a Walter," and I have to say I can't really argue with him over that. Today was a prime example of me "pulling a Walter."

This has been a trying week. It has been anything but the restful, happy and stress free week I've been looking for. Yesterday was the closest to that, with one exception. I had a sore throat and was feeling a little run down. I thought to myself, all I need is a really solid night of sleep and everything will be better. Well, I got that (mostly) really good night of sleep last night, only to wake up to one of the most painful sore throats I've ever had. That's when I knew it. It's gotta be strep throat. So I shower and run over to my doctor's office. It's only 3 minutes from the house. Because of the holiday weekend, they are closing at noon today and therefore not taking any walk-ins today. Grrrr.. Luckily, there's an urgent care between my house and the doctor's office. But they don't open for another hour. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.... There's another urgent care about 15 minutes away. I get there about 15 minutes before they open, so in the meantime, I call Ken and tell him I don't feel well, I'm annoyed that the doctor wasn't taking walk-ins and the urgent care by the house is closed. I tell him I'm at the other urgent care and for him not to call me, I'll call him when I'm done. I guess I though that was enough information for him not to worry, but I was wrong. It threw him into a panic. He tried calling me, but I turned my phone off. (The urgent care went into overdrive posting "No Cell Phone" signs all over the waiting room.) He freaked out, left me two voice mails and then set out to find me. He thought I was having a heart attack or a stroke or something. You see, I hate the doctor. I hate going quite a bit. I don't ever like to go voluntarily. I have to admit, I'm better now than I used to be, but I still don't like going, so for me to call Ken and tell him I don't feel well and I'm at the doctor....

I have my appointment and sure enough, it's strep throat, just like I thought it was. I call Ken as soon as I'm out and he tells me he's half way to the urgent care. And he's crying. You need to understand, Ken doesn't cry. He's dead on the inside. And I instantly get upset that I upset him. I feel like crap enough as it is. Now I'm upset that he's upset. So that's how I pulled a Walter today.

And I guess posting on Twitter that I'm at the urgent care and then turning off my phone isn't the brightest idea. I didn't think much about it when I did it, but then I turn my phone back on and I have a handful of voicemails and text messages. Sorry, my friends. I didn't mean to alarm you. Like I said before, I pulled a Walter.

Ken made me promise that when I got home, I'd climb in bed, watch tv, read and nap. So that's what I'm going to do. But I wanted to get my daily blog post up. Only two more and I've completed my challenge! Hurrah!

For today's Christmas song, I picked something fitting for today's blogpost. The song is by Nancy LaPlante and it's called "Debbie's Last Christmas." It's about a little dying girl. It's really a horrible song, but one of those horrible songs that I ended up putting on a lot of mixtapes over the years. And since I'm on my death bed today, you get to hear about Debbie on her's, too. Enjoy.

"Debbie's Last Christmas" - Nancy LaPlante

Trying Something Here

I don't know why I didn't think of doing this earlier, but it just came to me. You know how much music plays a part in my life, right? Well, why don't I post some songs here? That's a good question. Why don't I?

So between now and the end of the year, I think I'm going to post a song a day (unless I don't post!) for the holidays. Now if I have this figured out the way I do, here's how it will work. The songs will only be available for a short time only, probably not longer than a week. You should be able to get the songs by clicking the link. If this doesn't work, it just proves that I'm not as tech savvy as I thought I was (and by no means do I think I'm all that tech savvy.) Let's give it a go. Since today is Thanksgiving, today's song is "Thanksgiving Song" by Mary Chapin Carpenter from her new Christmas cd called Come Darkness, Come Light: Twelve Songs of Christmas.

Thanksgiving Song - Mary Chapin Carpenter

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Seven

Curse you, (F)reddy, for pointing me towards another blog which has something for me to steal. So, without further ado, stolen freshly from Blair's Corner:

Grab a piece of paper quickly. Oh, and a pen or pencil too. Don't think about it. Go on. Now, without even looking at your watch or being distracted by anything else that might be going on in your world at this very moment, write down 25 things you are thankful for. Go on. Start writing. 1, 2, 3, 4 and so on. Don't stop. All the way to 25! Here I go:

1. Ken. You've given me gray hair and driven me batshit crazy for going on 15 years, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

2. Ollie & Lucy. I couldn't have asked for a pair of my loving babies than you.

3. I'm thankful for all the people I got to meet face to face this year. And I'm thankful for the friendships I have with each and every one of you.

4. I'm thankful for my friends I've yet to have face time with, but will someday.

5. Overtime.

6. Being out of retail, especially this time of year.

7. Sugar-free, fat-free chocolate pudding.




8. That I have a good, competent dentist that I genuinely like.

9. Geoff Johns

10. My fierce and chic size 34 waist.

11. The ability to carry 17,000 random songs with me wherever I go.

12. I'm thankful that there's a chance the USA will no longer look like the biggest douchebag country in the world again (starting January 20).

13. That skanks and hoes continually entertain me week in and week out on the reality shows I love so.

14. That my parents like my husband more than they like me.

15. That Tina Turner still puts out music (even though the two new songs she gave us this year were really not up to par, if you ask me)

16. Converse All-Stars

17. That I find it easier to express my feelings now to people than ever before in my life.

18. Betty White

19. That the internet has given me the chance to reconnect with so many people I've lost touch with over the years

20. I'm thankful for music in general. I can't imagine how unbearable life would be without it.

21. That I know I have so much to learn about myself and I'm not afraid to do that.

22. That my willpower has grown exponentially over the last couple of years to levels previously unknown

23. That we're inching closer to the day that I can make my relationship with valid in the eyes of the law

24. Dark Chocolate

25. That the challenge was to only come up with 25 things because this is hard.

Wednesday Bonus Post

This is the fifth day of my vacation, yet it's the first one that I haven't been miserable. And of all the days, this is the one that I should have been the most miserable. Go figure. I had the dentist appointment I've been dreading for months. Today was the day to go start the work on a new crown. One of my bottom molars has been bothering me for a few months. Biting on anything hard would send sharp pains through the tooth and into my jaw. I was hoping it meant I was just going to need a new filling. But no such like. I had a fracture in the tooth and the recommended treatment was a new crown. I put it off a little while and finally decided to do something about it. I had the dentist submit a pre-determination with my insurance company to see what my out of pocket expense was going to be. It came back a couple of weeks ago saying that all but about $300 would be covered. I was shocked because a larger than expected percentage was covered.

So today was the day. The first thing my dentist says to me is we're going to get that last molar a new crown today. I stopped and said to him, "No, it's the tooth in front of it, not the back one." He disagreed and double checked his notes. His notes said it was the last one. So, to put my mind at rest, he tested my teeth and sure enough, the tooth that's been bothering me was the back molar, not the one in front of it. Sometimes, the pain expresses itself forward. I didn't know that, but I do now. The time in the chair wasn't horrible, though he did have to stop work and give me another shot of Novocaine because the first shot didn't do enough. Even that second one didn't do enough because I was still getting sharp (though dulled by the first two shots) pains when he hit the spot where the bigger of the two fractures was. I was a trooper, though. Until the first of two major offenses happened. The soft rock station plays in the background at the office. "The Shoop Shoop Song" by Cher came on and out of the blue, my dentist says "Cher should stick to acting." Hello. Does he not know he has a large faggot in the chair? A large faggot who has probably close to 400 Cher songs on his iPod? Hello? The second offense occured when he was working on my temporary crown and I could talk. Knowing I'm a huge Disney freak, he asked if I'd be recently. I told him just a couple months ago. He said that he, too, was there recently. I asked where he stayed. He told me. The Grand Floridian. I was so jealous. I wanted to pop him in the head. It would have been justifiable, right? I thought so.

Anyway, I've got a temporary crown in now for the next two weeks. The hardest part of this time is going without chewing gum. I chew a lot of gum, especially at work. Keeps me from thinking about food, which is always a good thing.

After the dentist, I ran all the errands I had. Post office, bank, BJs, a few places to pick up Christmas presents. I got almost all of my Christmas shopping done this morning. I have one more item to pick up in the store for Ken (though if he's going out on Black Friday... he usually does before work... he's picking it up.) and a little bit of internet shopping for my sister. Then I'm done.

I got home, did up all the chores I needed, played online a little bit and caught up on some reading. All in all, it's been a good day. It just sucks that it took five days to finally have a decent one, but here's hoping tomorrow is more of the same!

Happy (early) Thanksgiving to all!

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Six

Um, maybe I should start watching How I Met Your Mother.

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Five

I slept for shit again last night. I was wide awake and out of bed at 5 am. So I'm going to try and make the best of today. I played online for a little bit this morning, listened to my podcasts, went and walked with the blue hairs for an hour and have now been home for almost an hour. I would imagine a nap is in my future, but we'll see. I'm planning on *gasp* not wasting the whole day playing on the computer. In fact, I'm hoping to be done with it shortly. I've got so much around the house that needs attention. So I'm making a decision now to turn off the phones, step away from the internet, get cozy with my iPod, refuse to answer the door and shut the distractions out. Today is a me day. It's the only day this week that I'm going to have a chance to do that. Yesterday Ken was home. Tomorrow I have a dentist appointment and errands. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday is still up in the air. We'll see.

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Four

Fifty Random Statements

*I worry about my weight every day.
*I am madly in love with DC Comics' Showcase Presents line.
*My earliest celebrity crush was on Howard Jones.
*I am way pettier than I let on.
*I've met the Indigo Girls, Reba McEntire and the girls from Expose.
*I was written into an issue of Wonder Woman and then promptly killed off.
*Walt Disney World is my favorite place to vacation to.
*I spent an unhealthy amount of time on the internet.
*My favorite smell is that of baking chocolate.
*I am a music elitist.
*I would love to go to Germany someday.
*I can't drink rum.
*I am epileptic.
*I sometimes have trouble with the words "past" and "passed."
*My all-time favorite singer is Tina Turner.
*Starboy is the hottest member of the Legion of Super-Heroes.
*I once had dinner at Fred Hembeck's house.
*I love my cats more than I love anyone in my life except for Ken.
*It's been 421 days since my last soda.
*I love porn but am ashamed to admit it.
*I am very sentimental.
*My comic book obsession is taking over my life.
*Muriel's Wedding is the greatest movie of all time.
*I would like to get married someday.
*I wish I was best friends with Lisa Loeb and Jill Sobule.
*Old, drugged out Judy Garland was far superior to young, drugged out Judy Garland.
*I wish I read more.
*I am obsessed with my iTunes music library.
*I will weigh myself, pee, and then weigh myself again.
*I own Chastity Bono's album.
*I hate what has happened to the Marvel Family.
*My favorite soap opera is Guiding Light.
*I could eat an entire can of cake frosting in one sitting.
*I think Alex Puccio is the bravest man I know.
*When I was ten years old, I wanted to be Kid Flash.
*I do not have a green thumb.
*I have trouble dressing myself.
*I am stubborn.
*I share my birthday with Tina Fey.
*I dreamed about Betty White the other night.
*I've met so many wonderful friends via the internet. I'm thankful to know them.
*I'm a creature of habit, much to my husband's chagrin.
*I find detached earlobes much sexier than attached earlobes.
*I enjoy my job immensely.
*I hate my bad skin.
*I met Bob Haney once. He was surprised I knew who he was.
*I would give my left nut to be on Survivor.
*I don't make enough time to see friends.
*I am afraid of the unknown.
*I once ate an entire meal of just Andie's Candies and I got very sick from it.

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Three

Yesterday sucked ass. I had a horrible day and almost didn't post anything here. I got out of bed at 11 last night and threw that YouTube clip up, just to have something up. The clip makes the episode of Doctor Who look not as cheesy as it really is, believe it or not. I don't know what possessed me to buy that particular episode. I guess I forgot how damn cheesy the special effects were, even for Doctor Who.

Anyway, I'm feeling much better today. I just got home from lunch with Ken. We went to Red Robin and I think I ate almost all of my daily calories with my blue cheese bacon cheeseburger and fries. And if that's not enough, Ken needed a coffee, so we stopped at Dunkin Donuts and I got a chocolate chip muffin. All told, that's about 2100 calories. I try to keep it at 2000. Guess I'm having water for dinner (and barfing a little bit for dessert!)

My weigh in today was pretty good. I was hoping for better, but I'm always hoping for better. I rocked that scale at 190, up a pound from last week. I'm already planning on being up a couple for next week, seeing how Thanksgiving is on Thursday. Remind me of that next Sunday when I'm suicidal that I'm up a couple.

A while ago, I decided I wanted to make a playlist in iTunes of every song I have that hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Billboard.com helped by printing a list of every #1 song a couple months back. At that point, "I Kissed A Girl" by Katy Perry became the 1,000th number one, hence the cause for celebration. The Hot 100 debuted in October of 1958. I actually started my playlist at the beginning of 1955, so I had the potential to break 1,000 songs on my playlist. It took a couple of hours of going through my iTunes library and the list of every song before I finished. I was shocked to learn that I actually have 623 (and counting) of these songs. I didn't think I'd have that many. Aren't you glad you asked?

November Challenge - Day Twenty-Two

I watched this tonight.

November Challenge - Day Twenty-One

So I saw Venus and Divy twittering about something called a Johari Window a few weeks ago. I investigated and was intrigued by it. What's a Johari Window, you ask. Well, straight from the website comes this:

The Johari Window was invented by Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham in the 1950s as a model for mapping personality awareness. By describing yourself from a fixed list of adjectives, then asking your friends and colleagues to describe you from the same list, a grid of overlap and difference can be built up.

So I was curious as to what my Johari window would look like. I thought it would be a fun exercise to see how the way I see myself differs from the way others see me. I posted links all over the place to drum up attention. All in all, I got 28 people to contribute to my experiment. Some I know in real life, some I know online, some I know from the podcast. People from different parts of my life.

The window is broken down into four panes. In Arena are words I used to describe myself that others also chose. In Facade, these are words I chose that no one else did. In Blind Spot, these are words others chose to describe me that I didn't also choose. And finally, in Unknown, these are words that no one picked.

Arena (known to self and others) dependable, introverted, nervous, quiet, self-conscious, shy	Blind Spot (known only to others) accepting, bold, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, ingenious, intelligent, kind, logical, loving, modest, observant, powerful, proud, reflective, searching, sentimental, silly, spontaneous, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty
Façade (known only to self)	Unknown (known to nobody) able, adaptable, brave, confident, dignified, independent, knowledgeable, mature, organised, patient, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-assertive, sensible, sympathetic

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (7%) adaptable (0%) bold (3%) brave (0%) calm (3%) caring (25%) cheerful (10%) clever (17%) complex (10%) confident (0%) dependable (3%) dignified (0%) energetic (3%) extroverted (14%) friendly (28%) giving (14%) happy (7%) helpful (3%) idealistic (3%) independent (0%) ingenious (3%) intelligent (35%) introverted (25%) kind (21%) knowledgeable (0%) logical (3%) loving (17%) mature (0%) modest (14%) nervous (21%) observant (10%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (3%) proud (3%) quiet (14%) reflective (10%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (3%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (21%) sensible (0%) sentimental (10%) shy (32%) silly (46%) spontaneous (7%) sympathetic (0%) tense (10%) trustworthy (17%) warm (10%) wise (7%) witty (50%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 22.11.2008, using data from 28 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view PussPatrell's full data.

Let's start with Arena.

dependable, introverted, nervous, quiet, self-conscious, shy

These are the six words I felt best described me. See a theme here? Most aren't the most self-assured words I could pick, huh? But there must be some truth in here because others used the exact same words to describe me. This is how I see myself. I view myself as a wallflower. I get incredibly nervous around people and situations that I'm not intimately familiar with. I tend to be very quiet until I'm comfortable. However, I think I'm a dependable person. People who agreed with me on these traits seemed to find me shy more than anything else, followed by introverted and then nervous and self-conscious. It's comforting to see that I'm not seeing things in myself that others don't see.

dependable (3%) introverted (25%) nervous (21%) quiet (14%) self-conscious (21%) shy (32%)

No point in examining Facade. That box is empty.

Blind Spot is next. These are traits that others see in me that I don't. Well, that's not entirely true. I could only pick six words. I do see some of these things in me, they just didn't make the top six.

accepting, bold, calm, caring, cheerful, clever, complex, energetic, extroverted, friendly, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, ingenious, intelligent, kind, logical, loving, modest, observant, powerful, proud, reflective, searching, sentimental, silly, spontaneous, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Some of these are think were very good picks, while others make me wonder. Extroverted? Well, I guess I can get that way, but I don't think it happens all too often. When I'm feeling comfortable and safe, but as a rule, not so much. Observant? My husband will be the first in line to disagree with that. It's usually two or three days after he gets his hair cut before I notice something is different. And it drives him so far up the wall.... Powerful? I'm not even sure how to translate that into a personality trait of mine. Powerful in what way?

On the flip side, I am extremely sentimental. Sometimes I think a little too sentimental. I can be cold as steel and then I'll find an old letter or something and will be sobbing. I think I'm very idealistic. I'm certainly reflective and absolutely searching.

These are the most commonly chosen traits:

caring (25%) clever (17%) friendly (28%) intelligent (35%) kind (21%) loving (17%) silly (46%) trustworthy (17%) witty (50%)

I mostly agree with them. I'm very surprised to see half the respondents pick witty to describe me. I must be wittier than I think. While I think I can come up with a good one liner every once in a while, I'm always hard on myself for not being quicker. I can think of a million funny things to say hours later. Silly was next and I definitely have my moments. I probably have a lot more than I'm willing to admit, though if I think of the workplace Walt, I think silly describes me to a tee. I am definitely in total agreement with loving. I love hard. (And that sounds dirty.)

The final window was Unknown. These are words no one chose. My unknowns are:

able, adaptable, brave, confident, dignified, independent, knowledgeable, mature, organised, patient, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-assertive, sensible, sympathetic

I understand why most of these were not chosen. Of these, though, I think that able, sensible and knowledgeable fit me.

The Johari Window is interesting in the fact that the words you have to pick from are, for the most part, positive words. There's a sister to this called the Nohari Window. Same thing, only the words you get to pick from are negatively slanted. I asked people to participate in that one, too, but I only got 7 people to fill that out. I don't think 7 is enough to get a good enough idea of me. These are the results I have so far.

Arena (known to self and others) timid, insecure, selfish, impatient, passive	Blind Spot (known only to others) aloof, lethargic, withdrawn, needy, irrational, childish, embarrassed, panicky, insensitive, smug, overdramatic
Façade (known only to self) inflexible	Unknown (known to nobody) incompetent, intolerant, cowardly, violent, glum, stupid, simple, irresponsible, vulgar, hostile, unhappy, unhelpful, cynical, unimaginative, inane, brash, cruel, ignorant, distant, boastful, blasé, imperceptive, chaotic, weak, loud, vacuous, unethical, self-satisfied, rash, dispassionate, dull, predictable, callous, inattentive, unreliable, cold, foolish, humourless

Dominant Traits

57% of people agree that PussPatrell is timid
71% of people agree that PussPatrell is insecure

All Percentages

incompetent (0%) intolerant (0%) inflexible (0%) timid (57%) cowardly (0%) violent (0%) aloof (14%) glum (0%) stupid (0%) simple (0%) insecure (71%) irresponsible (0%) vulgar (0%) lethargic (14%) withdrawn (28%) hostile (0%) selfish (28%) unhappy (0%) unhelpful (0%) cynical (0%) needy (28%) unimaginative (0%) inane (0%) brash (0%) cruel (0%) ignorant (0%) irrational (28%) distant (0%) childish (14%) boastful (0%) blasé (0%) imperceptive (0%) chaotic (0%) impatient (28%) weak (0%) embarrassed (42%) loud (0%) vacuous (0%) panicky (42%) unethical (0%) insensitive (14%) self-satisfied (0%) passive (42%) smug (14%) rash (0%) dispassionate (0%) overdramatic (28%) dull (0%) predictable (0%) callous (0%) inattentive (0%) unreliable (0%) cold (0%) foolish (0%) humourless (0%)

Created by the Nohari Window on 22.11.2008, using data from 7 respondents.
You can make your own Nohari Window, or view PussPatrell's full data.

It's been hard to get people to fill this one out for me. Most of the responses have been that they think it's too mean spirited. I can understand why they'd think that, and if it was just this one survey, I would agree, too. But as the flipside of the Johari Window, it makes perfect sense. Everyone has good traits and bad traits. If you're looking for a complete picture of the way you're perceived, you need it from both ends.

Because of the small response, there's not much to comment on. The only thing that surprised me is smug. I don't see that in me, but that doesn't mean it's not true. In this case, I wish I had an example or two pointed out to me. Otherwise, I tend to agree to varying degrees about the other words.

If you're interested in doing your own Johari Window or Nohari Window, here are the links:

Johari Window

Nohari Window

November Challenge - Day Twenty

Okay, so I had tonight's post all planned out, but I really don't have any energy tonight. Today was an interesting day. Interesting, yet very draining. You can tell the holidays are getting really close, because it seems the closer they get, the scumbaggier the scumbags I work with get. I notice that from Thanksgiving through New Years and from Memorial Day through July 4th the usual suspects start in with their usual behavior. Let's take "BK" for example. She's notorious for "being sick" around the holidays, but always seems to come back feeling better and very tan. She was "sick" today. And if she's sick on a Thursday, she's sick on a Friday as well. Guaranteed. There's one woman who is just too erratic to read, but she's up to something, too. Can't quite put my finger on it, but something big is coming. Then there's my dear, dear FrankenKlinger. She was in rare form today. Too much to go into here, but let's just say she made an artform out of not doing a damn thing, yet pimping herself out to be the best employee New York State has ever seen. I had to get up and leave my desk a few times today because I just couldn't take it anymore.

But now I'm home, I'm exhausted and I'm about to watch Survivor. It looks like it's going to be a good one.

OH!! And before I forget.... To my fellow Fattest Loser fans... Yeah, what the fuck? Amy had every chance in the world to do the right thing this week and didn't. Dumb dumb dumb. When I was watching the scenes for next week's show, they flashed the weigh in board for just a second, but long enough for me to pause my dvr. While I don't know who is going home, I do know which three people are safe from elimination and I'm not happy about it. Five people were on the board with the sixth about to weigh in. All I know is one of the nicer people is going home next week, I just don't know which one.

November Challenge - Day Nineteen

So it came. The dreaded jury duty summons. Every day for the last month or two, I would get the feeling of dread when it came time to check the mail. I got my pre-jury duty questionnaire a couple months ago and I knew it was just a matter of time before it was my turn again. This is only the second time I've been saddled with jury duty. The first time was the best experience. The night before it started, I was supposed to call for instructions. I did and was told not to report, but to call the next day. Which I did and was told not to report. The third day I was excused. I'm hoping and praying something similar is going to happen. I'm supposed to start on December 1. I'm hoping that between my jury number (156) and the fact that it's the week after Thanksgiving that not much will be happening. The more I hope, though, the more likely I'm going to end up on a jury. Not that it's a terrible thing, but I really hate disruptions of any kind. I'm kind of freaking out, on a very small scale, about it because I'm off of work the entire week beforehand. I don't like the idea of missing more work. I'm still conditioned from all my years in retail that time off is forbidden for any reason.

And I think Ken and I just had a little spat over my jury duty. When he got home, we were talking about it and I told him that if I have to serve, the court won't pay me. He fixated on that statement and couldn't get past it and so whatever else I said just started to piss him off. I told him I don't get paid for it because I work for the state and I'll still get my normal pay. But he decided that I meant I don't get jury pay, nor do I get work pay. So he's in a pissy mood right now and I'm upstairs. Hopefully he's straightened himself out by now.

Keep your fingers crossed that I won't have to serve on a jury. I know it's my civic duty, but I'm just not looking forward to it.

November Challenge - Day Eighteen

This counts, right? I was just laying in bed, watching the Fattest Loser and I remembered that I didn't post anything here. So this is all I've got for today. I'll try to be better tomorrow. I promise. You know, next time I decide to do a post a day for an entire month, I better make sure I have two things.... time and topics. I've been pretty devoid of both. I suck.

November Challenge - Day Seventeen

I'm not prepared to write anything today. My mother-in-law is here and has thrown my whole night out of whack. I'm all discombobulated. So I guess it's fitting to post Amy Winehouse pictures, no?

November Challenge - Day Sixteen

I've spent a glorious weekend mostly away from the computer. Sure, I've played online a little bit this weekend, but I probably spent less time here this whole weekend than I do a normal weekday night. I think I'm going to practice this a little more. It's kind of liberating to spend time out of my office.

My Sunday weight update is a good one. I was 189 today. This is the second Sunday (though not in a row) for me to be in the 180s. Tracking my calories this week certainly played a huge part in this. I think I've been eating more than I thought I was. I'm glad I made the effort to refocus.

If you know anything about me and this blog, you know that I like to blatantly steal from others. I make no secret about it either. Today's thievery comes from my friend Tony's Comics N Things blog. He found a bunch of blog analyzing tools and posted some on his site.

The first one if the Typealyzer. It analyzes the type of person who writes this blog. My results say this about me:

ESFP - The Performers

The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don´t like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions.





The next is the Gender Analyzer. It will determine the gender of the author of the blog. This is what happened when I submitted my blog: We think http://iamwalter.blogspot.com is written by a man (68%). Tony's results said 72% in favor of being a lady. Ha!


The Blog Readability Test determines the level of education required to understand your blog.

No one ever accused me of being to brilliant. Apparently you don't need to be brilliant to read me, either.

Finally, this is where you go when you want to find out how much your blog is worth.

My blog is worth $4,516.32.
How much is your blog worth?

Wanda

Wanda Sykes says she's 'proud to be gay'

The Associated Press

Article Launched: 11/15/2008 06:04:07 PM PST

LAS VEGAS—Comedian Wanda Sykes says the passage of a same-sex marriage ban in California has led to her be more outspoken about being gay.

"You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the closet, but I was living my life," Sykes told a crowd at a gay rights rally in Las Vegas on Saturday. "Everybody that knows me personally they know I'm gay. But that's the way people should be able to live their lives."

Sykes, who is known for her feisty and blunt style, said the passage of California's Proposition 8 made her feel like she was "attacked."

"Now, I gotta get in their face," she said. "I'm proud to be a woman. I'm proud to be a black woman, and I'm proud to be gay."

Sykes' appearance at the Las Vegas rally was a surprise to organizers. She was in town performing at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino.

November Challenge - Day Fifteen

Half way through the month!

One of the issues I have with myself is my waning attention span. The older I get, the less of one I seem to have. I can't sit still and do one thing for very long (unless it's procrastinating online). I could have a large pile of comics I'm anxious to read and only look through a couple of them before I need to go do something else. I could be cleaning the house and find that after only one room, I'm over it and go slack off somewhere else. You get the idea. For Christmas last year, I got the first two seasons of Dynasty. I was very excited and couldn't wait to watch them. Well, as you can probably foresee, it took me forever to get through both sets. As much as I enjoyed them and was anxious to watch, it took me almost an entire year to watch them. I'd average about one episode a week and then, you guessed it, lose interest.

That all being said, I have to tell you what I just did. Over the course of the last week, I watched the entire run of Square Pegs. I got the series as a gift from J Z at the end of August. I didn't want to start watching it until I finished up Dynasty, so it sat for two months until I could do just that. Last Saturday night I popped the first disc in, figuring I would watch two, maybe three episodes. Instead, I took in all 7 episodes on the disc as well as all the special features. Last night I popped in disc two and tonight I just finished up disc three. I had the best time watching the show, too. While it wasn't the greatest show on tv, I have nothing but fond memories of it. I've seen episodes here and there over the years on cable and would watch them and think about how the show just wasn't as good as I remembered it being. But I have to say that watching the entire output like this, the show really was as good as I remember. A couple of the earlier shows are kind of awkward and clunky, but once you get past them, it really picks up. The cast seems like they're more comfortable with each other, the writing gets sharper... It was a true joy to watch.

Anyone not familiar with the show, it was about two dorky high school freshmen girls and their desire to fit in and be part of the cool crowd. Sarah Jessica Parker played one of the girls. The show also starred Jami Gertz and Tracy Nelson in their first big roles.

Hulu has a bunch of the episodes available to watch on their website. I'm embedding one here. The episode features Jami Gertz's character Muffy's new wave Bat Mitzvah with Devo.

Greatest Hits

My mother-in-law thought that Sarah Palin was "a breath of fresh air" in this election. She was all for her and her world views. Someone so lovingly crafted this Sarah Palin "Greatest Hits" montage from the campaign. See what a breath of fresh air she really is.

November Challenge - Day Fourteen

I'm trying to send this to the blog from work.  I don't know if it will work or not, but it's worth a shot.

I hurt one of my very dear friend's feelings today.  I didn't mean to and I didn't want to, but it happened anyway.  The specifics aren't important right now (nor are they anyone's business).  What is important is I feel like shit and so does my friend.  It sucks and I hate it.  I hate that trying to do what I feel I need to do and being true to friends can cause conflict.  Not often.  In fact, rarely.  But it happens.  And it's not pleasant.  I just want to go home and hide right now, but that's not possible.  I just want to say that I'm sorry,

November Challenge - Day Thirteen

I found a new thing to obsess over. For the iPhone, I found a free application called Livestrong Calorie Counter. I've only had it for a couple days, but I'm already obsessed with it. Not only can I use it to count calories every day, I can also input my daily weight and it will create a nifty chart for me to see my progress. I'm loving this because I feel that I'm starting to lose track of what I'm eating and by inputting everything on a daily basis, I can refocus on my diet and give me that little push I want to keep my weight where I want it. The other day, the first day I used the counter, someone put a bowlful of leftover Halloween candy out. I noticed it while walking through the office, stopped for a Peanut Butter Cup (my favorite) and brought it back to my desk. I decided to input it before eating it and when I looked it up, I realized I didn't need it. At least not yet. Not on the first day of tracking calories. So I threw it into my desk for a day when I'm not going to give a fuck and really need it. That day could even be tomorrow for all I know. I noticed that I still have about 600 calories to eat for the day. I don't know what I should eat. My insides are screaming for candy, but I shouldn't. I need to go raid the kitchen and see what's tasty. I'm afraid there isn't much down there in the way of crap, something I really want.

November Challenge - Day Twelve

This is going to be a short one. I intended on doing a real entry, but I'm just too beaten down to think about it. I slept for shit last night. I think that's the cause of the headache I've carried with me almost all day long. I'm exhausted and I'm about to go to bed. But I didn't want to miss a day. I'm nearly half way through the month and I'm committed to finishing this out, whether I have something to say or not. I spent a good portion of the day today listening to Morrissey/The Smiths. So maybe I'll slap up a video here. There's your content.

One Last Instructional Video

It's Turning Out To Be A YouTube Kind Of Day

Chuck!

I hadn't seen this before today. And it cracked me up.

November Challenge - Day Eleven

November Challenge - Day Ten

Help me figure something out. I took today off of work. The office is closed tomorrow and the idea of a four day weekend really sounds wonderful. Ken had to work today. Whenever we have this situation, I always get a call around 11:30 asking for me to come to his office so we can go out to lunch together. I never want to do it. I really don't. It's my day off and I'm enjoying some quality "me" time. He gives me the defeated victim voice and then I feel like a selfish asshole and cave in and go. Today was no different. But I started thinking about this. Is it me who is the bad guy in these situations or is it Ken? I feel selfish, but the more I think about it, the more I'm starting to think Ken is the selfish one. He's not getting his way and so he throws down the guilt. I don't get an awful lot of solo time anymore and it's a huge bonus when I get it. I guess the true test is going to be the week of Thanksgiving. I'm off the whole week. Let's see how many of those calls I get that week.

I think I have my iTunes problem fixed (::fingers crossed::) I rebooted my iPhone, downloaded the iTunes update, rebooted the computer and everything seems to be working. I'm not sure if everything is a little slower now or it's my imagination, but it's working. I tend to freak out over things like this and in the heat of the moment, I can't see straight. I tried to reign it in this time. But everything is working now and I'm much happier.

And don't forget, please go two these two websites and complete the profile information about me. One is positively slanted and one is negatively slanted. I'm finding the results so far very interesting. I think next week I'm going to post the results. So you've got all week to go do them. If you're afraid I'm going to be mad, don't be. I'm not. And you have the option of doing this anonymously if that's a concern. I'm very curious as to how the world sees me as opposed to how I see myself.

Do This

Okay, just do this. Go to this website and click the boxes you think best describe me. Be honest. You can be anonymous if you want, you can identify yourself if you want. But please be honest, even if you don't think I'd agree. I'm curious is all.

And then when you're done with that, really let the hot truth spill. Go here. And since this is the nasty version of that one and you want to be anonymous, do so, but be brutally honest. Remember, 2008 is all about learning more about myself and this is an amazing tool for me to do that.

November Challenge - Day Nine

Okay, remember when I was talking about iTunes yesterday? Well, today I'm freaking the fuck out. I plugged in my iPhone to sync and iTunes crashed on me. I rebooted and plugged it in and it crashed on me. And again. So I just installed the new update and the first time plugging the phone in, it didn't crash, but froze up instead. This could just be a fluke, I don't know. Now I've got a thingie scrolling across my screen saying "Checking iTunes Library." I'm starting to panic. What am I gonna do? Grrrrr....

November Challenge - Day Eight

If you know me, really know me, you know a couple of things about me. You know that I'm a huge fan of music. I can't live without music. Music is one of the most important things in my life. You also know I can sometimes have a touch of the OCDs. Now, when you put the two together, what you end up with is Walt being a freak. Complete, total and utter freak. Let me explain. Last year when I got the new computer, I finally had a machine with more than enough room to store my music collection. So I spent a month or so uploading and transferring my collection to iTunes in the new computer. Of course, in doing this, every songs play count was reset to 0. So I decided to make it a project to try to listen to every single song at least once. This project has turned into an obsession. Right now, my iTunes music library stands at 39,898 songs. I have a playlist called "Unplayed Songs" and right now that stands at 10,723 songs. I don't often listen to anything but my unplayed playlists. I have many. Some by artist, some by genre, some by theme... I've let it consume me.

To give you some idea of how I'm progressing with getting this project accomplished, three months ago my library was 36,450 songs with 17,967 of them unplayed. So I have managed to upload about 3,400 more songs and still get the unplayed list down about 7,000 songs. Not bad, huh? It doesn't hurt that I have my iPod strapped to me 24/7, it seems. I give myself a project, set a goal and then let the OCD side of me take over. I think that's how I was so sucessful in dropping 110 pounds. (And speaking of which, tomorrow is weigh in day and I'm petrified of what is going to show up on the scale, based on what I saw on the scale this morning. We'll see...)

Tomorrow my goal is to listen to about 100 more songs throughout the course of the day. We'll see how close I come.

This Is Stolen, Too

What Your Love of Peanut Butter Cups Says About You

You are hedonistic... sometimes to the point of being greedy. You love to eat, and there's no chance you're sharing your candy! While you may be greedy, it's with good reason. You have great taste. The things you love are worth loving, and it's no wonder you crave them.

What Does Your Favorite Candy Say About You?

November Challenge - Day Seven

I saw this picture on msnbc.com this morning and it amused the hell out of me.

I'm very happy to see the loud outcry at the results of California's Proposition 8. This is just the beginning of what's going to be a very long battle. I have to say that I'm not feeling very hopeful that the outcome is going to be something positive, though. I'm not sure if it's the pessimist in me or the realist that thinks this. What I mean is we may have elected Barack Obama to the Presidency, but we are not a nation of forward thinkers. We are a nation of ignorant idiots who live in fear of our own shadows. Just witness all the hate speak circulating about the President Elect right now. If I'm told one more time how he's a sleeper cell agent or the Anti-Christ or that he won the election by using his evil powers of mass hypnotism (it's true. It's been documented in a sixty page report done by top scientists. A woman Ken works with said so. She also said that he has his temple in the park where he gave his speech on Tuesday. The temple has already been dismantled to throw people off the trail of him but just before he bombs the White House, it's going to be reconstructed and that's where he's going to rule from), I'm going to bust. While my faith in humanity got a boost this week, I can't really say that it's very high.

November Challenge - Day Six

I almost just blew it less than a week into the challenge I made myself. I just want to go to bed. I'm exhausted. This is how Thursdays are starting to be for me and I can't say that I like it. Thursday is the first day of my work week. What I've been trying to do is get myself into the habit of doing as much overtime on Thursdays as I can. Because I work a 37.5 hour work week, the first 2.5 hours of overtime I do every week is paid out in comp time. Anything over that is paid out in time and a half. I strive to at least get in my 2.5 extra hours every week. Time off is a luxury I wasn't often afforded when I worked retail, so I try to amass it now. Today, being Thursday, was no exception. I got up extra early and was at work almost two hours early and I stay an hour and a half late. I got my time in and now I can kick back the rest of the work week. But it's taking it's toll on my tonight. I'm ready to crash hard. I want to go in early tomorrow because I have a ton of stuff on my desk still, but I don't think there's any chance of that. I know I'm going to have a fit when the alarm goes off in the morning.

A Week Late, But Who Cares

Check out this groovy Halloween costume of the past. I wish I could have gone as the Brady Bunch when I was younger. Instead I got to be Archie Andrews.

November Challenge - Day Five

I saw this on Nicole's blog and like I always do, I stole it. Apparently science is not a strong suit for me. I'm surprised I did so well on the deceptively easy quiz otherwise. Yay me.

There Are 1 Gaps in Your Knowledge

Where you have gaps in your knowledge: Science Where you don't have gaps in your knowledge: Philosophy Religion Economics Literature History Art

Do You Have Gaps in Your Knowledge?

November Challenge - Day Four

I'm going to keep this short and sweet tonight. It's election day and I need to climb into bed with a nice big piece of chocolate pudding pie and watch the returns. I spent the entire day very emotional whenever I would start thinking about the election. By the time I got to my polling place, I was bouncing off the walls, thrilled to death to be able to cast my vote. I overheard one of the volunteers while I was in my voting booth say how great it was to see someone so excited to vote. And I was. I'm a shy person by nature but I was chatting up a storm with the volunteers. I was having a truly good time.

Now it's time to watch the votes come in. Senator Obama has a slight lead in the popular vote as of this writing. Only two states have projected winners and forty-eight to go. I'm trying to stay positive and I really want my candidate to win. I'll be crushed if he doesn't. We'll see... It's going to be a long night.

November Challenge - Day Three

Mental Health Day, how I've needed you. You have no idea. The last two days have been absolutely amazing. Stunningly amazing. It's been so long since I've had a day to myself, let alone two. In the olden days, back when I worked retail, I would have Thursdays to myself. Since leaving retail and having the same schedule as Ken, these days are few and far between. And he rarely travels for work anymore, so my "me time" is a rare bird. Trust me, though, I've more than made up for lost time. I've been the biggest piece of shit since he's been gone. Today was no exception. I did run some errands this morning, paid some bills and did one last load of laundry (clean sheets for Walter tonight!!!), but otherwise, I've been a vegetable. My plans for tonight fell through, but I'm not going to complain. It'll give me a chance to play online a little bit and then get to bed early. I want to be well rested for tomorrow. Hopefully I can motivate to go in a little early to work for the overtime. But I'm not staying late. I want to get home in good measure to vote. The polling place is about a dozen houses up my street at the school, so I have no excuse. I'm kind of scared to watch tv tomorrow night, because you never know what could go wrong at the last minute. We'll see, I guess.

A side note to Kevin in Danbury. I stumbled across your blog last night (four posts in two years? Let's get cracking on that right now....) and I picked up your challenge. Only you'll have to go over to my photoblog for that.

And I stole this quiz from Kevin's blog, too.

You Are 23% Stereotypically Gay

You have a hint of gayness about you, but only very slight. You might have a few qualities that fit a gay stereotype. But in general few people are going to think you're gay.

How Stereotypically Gay Are You?
Take More Quizzes

I thought of something else I wanted to say earlier today, but it's gone now. If it's important enough, it'll come back to me.

November Challenge - Day Two

Okay, so yesterday's post was lame, but I didn't really think about it until it was too late and I barely even got up to post as it was. Today's post is better. Much better.

Is it possible that today is the greatest day of the year? If not, it's damn close. Here's why I'm finding today so good.

1) I weighed in today, like every Sunday. And I was hoping and praying to see 190. I've been stuck at 191 and I thought this week it would be a nice change. However, I wasn't going to get upset to see something above 191. The last few days I've been a little naughty. On Thursday there were cookies at work. Since they were placed in the empty cube in front of me, I had easy access. I ate a lot of cookies. On Friday, we had donuts to celebrate Halloween. I said I wasn't going to partake, but there were chocolate covered Boston cream donuts. And then for dinner on Friday I made a poor (but delicious) choice. With all that being said, I couldn't believe what lies the scale told me today. I'm at 188 pounds. 188! I weighed myself three times and got the same number. It must be a fluke, but I'm running with it. Naturally, my first thought after "Holy Shit!" was "Now what am I going to eat today?" I've been good so far. I had hummus for lunch, even though I wanted everything on the Wendy's drive through menu. And I'm eating the tiniest pack of Reese's Pieces you've ever seen while I'm typing this.

2) Chores are (almost) non-existent today. I got more than enough done yesterday that I only had to run the dishwasher and do two loads of laundry. I was hoping for only one load since I did all the laundry yesterday. I needed to wash the guest room sheets, but somehow Ken had managed to compile an entire load of clothes for me to do in addition to the sheets. HOW?

3) This extra hour thing is the best invention ever. My body is telling me it's 4:30, but the clock is telling me it's 3:30. Just when I think I've dicked the entire day away, I realize that it's not as bad as I thought. I wish we could turn the clocks back an hour every Saturday night.

4) The house is quiet. Very quiet. Ken flew out on a business trip first thing this morning and I've had the whole house to myself all day. There's nothing better than a mental health day. They're so good, I'm taking tomorrow off of work, too, and vegging out. I can't tell you the last time I had two days to myself with nothing to do. No work, (mostly) no chores, no human interaction. I'm soaking up the quiet. I caught up on everything on the dvr and once that was over, the iPod took the place of the tv. This is great. My plan for tonight is to watch my stories (Amazing Race and Charm School... I'm ticked I forgot to tape the preview showing this moorning) and hopefully finish up the second season of Dynasty. I've got two episodes left and I can get through those pretty easily. (Season three is on my Christmas list)

5) I noticed I'm just a few visits shy of having 6000 page hits since installing the visit counter back in March. That blows my mind. Six thousand visits? Thank you for visiting! I mean it.

How was your Sunday?