...I wasn't looking for any reassurance or anything when I wrote my Blah post the other day, but I can't tell you how much I appreciate the kind words I received. I think I was feeling a little down and when I feel down, I get hyper critical of myself. That's since passed and I feel a million times better (well, kind of... I'll get to that in a minute). It's amazing what a good night's sleep will do for you. Thanks Nessa. Thanks Holly. And especially thanks to you, Erik. While Nessa and Holly are contractually required to say nice things, you aren't. :-)
So, I mentioned it on the podcast we just recorded tonight and now I want to mention it here. I've managed to maintain a weight under 200 pounds for three days in a row now. I've been feeling amazingly good about myself, but we can't have that for too long, can we? The last two days I've been eating things I know better than to eat. Yesterday it was chocolates. Not that I had a pound of chocolate, but I had more than I should eat. Today it was worse. I had a canoli at breakfast time and then a piece of birthday cake. And then another (larger) piece of birthday cake. That's something the old Walt would do. My hugest fear in the world is falling back into old habits. I think I've got enough willpower to stop that, it just took a couple days off. I'm going to be better tomorrow than I've been in a long time. And I'm going to keep repeating that to myself until I believe it.
Finally, I got home from work tonight and there was another package of new clothes waiting for me. Since half the stuff Ken surprised me with has to be returned, he shopped some more. This time he bought me 4 shirts in size LT. And they all fit like a dream. My memory doesn't go back far enough to remember the last time I wore a large. It's still surreal to me. I'm so afraid I'm going to wake up tomorrow to find it's all been a nightmare. I'm so proud of myself and that's something I don't say nearly often enough.
7 comments:
contract? I didn't sign any contract. Should I be getting money for saying nice things? kidding! I adore you Walt and I find you inspiring and a delight to speak with. XO
I only speak the truth...well mostly!
Now if only you'd let me out of this basement!
Congrats on the diet, I know it's not always easy to stay on track but just don't beat yourself up if you fall from time to time. Who can resist a canoli for breakfast?!?! :)
xo
e
Huh. I liked Celebrex -- I was on it for ten days and my knees didn't hurt once.
But I digress, having been distracted by that most amazing tirade. In any case, you go, Waltie -- you da man.
You so did sign a contract, Nessa. Don't make me go and forge it to prove it to you!
Erik, beating myself up is one of the things I'm best about. I'm a pro. But honestly, I think it's one of the tools that's helped me get to the point I'm at now. When I do bad, I need to feel the remorse or I'll just keep doing it again and again and I'll be enormous again. I'm also my own worst critic, but I think most people can say that about themselves.
And the canoli came from one of Albany's best bakeries, so I might have been murdered if I turned it down. Now if only I could have one for breakfast every day.
Mel,
*smooches*
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