I'm A Ridiculous Mess

I really am. With the whole diet/weight loss thing. I can't ever let myself be happy for myself. I don't know why I'm like this, and quite frankly, it's getting old. I need to change my whole attitude. I was talking to Ken about this last night. I told him that when I started my diet, I would be so incredibly happy if I could get down to 250 pounds. When I hit 250, sure I was proud (for about ten minutes) and then I went back to being not satisfied. At the very least I'm aware of my idiocy, now it's just getting past it.

Today should help. All week long I was yoyoing between 208 and 212, which makes sense because I was 210 last week. This morning I was 207. I'm now below my previous low of 209. I got a chance to get out there and do some outside walking this week. The weather was beautiful for the first half of the week, with temps getting up from the high 40s to the low 60s. I took full advantage of the mild weather. This morning I did laps at the mall with the blue hairs. I usually do five laps (which is 3 miles), but I had a little extra energy and did a 6th. I feel really good about myself today. I'm going to try and take that good feeling with me everywhere I go this week. It's a whole new me!


Random Nicole said...

I love you a million. I'm just sayin.

Fairy Princess Holly said...

It's hard to be happy with yourself. I'm the same way. My own worst enemy. I can always find fault with me. Hang in there! You're a skinny rock star! :)

Walt said...

Let's trade, Holly. I'll be super-proud of you if you return the favor. Then we can be as hard on ourselves as we want and still feel the love.

Nessa said...

you can be hard on yourself and still feel the love? ;x must get mind out of gutter

Walt, I think your are gorgeous and look fantastic. I know this probably doesn't change how you feel. But really,
You're my soul and my inspiration
You're all I've got to get me by
You're my soul and my inspiration
Without you baby what good am I
Woh, what good am I.


A. Schultz said...

Hi Walt and thanks for your kind comments, and also thanks for mentioning me in your Music Summary for 2007 - very much appreciated :)

And you know my friend, about that weightloss-thing, I think you're doing great! And you should be proud of your accomplishments, regardless of whether you feel you can do better or not - you'll get there, I am sure!

Hope this is not boring, but let me share this with you - when I was recording "If You Forgive me....", I had, within a little over a year gone from 155 pounds to over 210 pounds mostly due to some very heavy medication I was on at the time.(In fact I was so seriously ill when recording that album that there was a real possibility that I would not live to finish it)- eventually it became clear that I was going to live through it, and preparations were made for an album-release to take place after a few months of recovery. I've never had any "weight-issues" up to that point, so I figured "Oh, what the hell, I can do this in 6-7 weeks before album-release" - yeah right...

It was alot harder than what I had expected, now 9 months after album-release I am soon there. I ended up just deciding to not give a fuck about whether I was still overweight or not when the album-release came up, and just take it step by step and be happy with myself along the way. Each month I lost a few pounds, and each month I felt a little better with myself - so don't stop feeling good about what you accomplish Walter - it's not easy and you're doing great! And from I can understand you've soon reached your goal as well :)

Wish you a great 2008!


Fairy Princess Holly said...

How fucking awesome is it that Alexander Schulz is commenting on your blog!?!? Now you feel cool, don't you?

Nessa said...

ok, color me stupid, but who is he?

Walt said...

Awww, Nicole. You make me blush. I think you're super, too.

Walt said...

Nessa, it's Alexander Schultz, singer-songwriter supreme! Google him!