Oh Whoa Is Me

It's kind of, sort of one of those "oh whoa is me" posts.  I hate when I feel this way.  Especially after having such a fantastic day yesterday.  But I had my second lousy night of sleep in a row and that's usually the cause of the state of mind I find myself in today.  But since I'm completely aware of why I'm feeling down and about what I'm feeling down, that kind of negates half of it, right?  I just know that if I can get a solid night of sleep tonight, I'll feel so much better tomorrow.

Tonight is one of my off nights for the gym.  The biggest reason (and it's lame, I know, so shut up already) is because Survivor is on tonight.  My friend Sharon and I watch it together, kind of, every week.  She at her house, me at mine and we discuss during the commercials.  Tonight, though, she has plans and won't be home to watch it live.  Knowing that I'm not constricted by time restraints tonight, I seriously considered going to work out some of my frustrations.  I always feel so good when I'm done and drenched, but I realized that my four day a week schedule is quickly becoming a six or seven day a week schedule.  Today is the first day I haven't gone since last Wednesday.  I'm really trying to avoid going every single day.  I get very obsessive with things and suddenly that's my entire world.  The gym is quickly becoming that to me and that's scaring me.  I can feel that a large part of my self esteem is tying itself up in the gym and that's not healthy.  What I really should do is the complete opposite of what my heart is telling me to do.  When Survivor comes on, I need to sit my ass in front of the tv with a big bowl of ice cream and enjoy.  

I've noticed that I have a new recurring theme in my dreams lately.  All the dreams are different, but they all somehow involve Ken and I moving.  Last night we were moving into a big, old warehouse.  I need to google what dreams about moving mean.  I'm kind of afraid what I'll find out.

No comments: