1.18.2011

Guilt

There is something wrong with me.  Seriously wrong.  I don't know why I find it impossible to call in to work for any reason.  If I prearrange a day off, no big whoop, but not going in when I'm supposed to...  I'm still carrying the scars of working retail for twenty years.  Golden rule number one in retail... you NEVER call in for any reason whatsoever.  You could have had your arm sliced off in a freak accident, you still show up.  You could have the plague, you still show up.  It's so ingrained in me that I still can't shake it.  I've been out of retail for five years now.  I should be over it by now.  I earn scads of time to take off as I like.  Today we were hit with another winter storm.  There wasn't too much snow on the ground when I got up this morning, so I braved the roads to go in.  The roads were kind of shitty, but I went in anyway.  And they kept getting worse as the day went on.  I did finally cave in and I left at noon.  But that makes today a complete waste.  We have another storm coming for Friday.  I'm making a promise to myself now that if it's crappy, I'm taking the day off.

The thing that kind of gets under my skin about days like today are the people who actually come in to work.  For the most part, it's the people I cannot stand.  The ones who have no work ethic, but will be the first to tell you how much work they do.  I know, that describes a good percentage of my office, but the real cream of the crop makes a point of showing up.  I really don't want to be lumped in with that crowd.

I really need to shake this stupid guilt.  Stupid, stupid guilt.

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