I was going to write this last night, but I just never got around to it. Ken's not home from work yet, so I'll have a little quiet time to write and not get interrupted.
I'm having a really bad week. It's just the pits. My last post was on Monday and as you may have read, this whole sciatic thing is really getting me down. In the last two years or so, my body has been slowly falling apart. I developed carpal tunnel, my shoulder has become unaligned, I discovered I had neuromas in both feet.... All of this I've managed to deal with, whether it was get treatment or just deal with the pain, but the sciatic issue is different. It's getting in the way of my day to day living. It seemed to come out of nowhere and it's taken up residence and won't go. The doctor prescribed me medication last week that did little to nothing. He was very surprised when I told him that. This week he gave me a prescription for some steroid and then sent me for x-rays just to make sure it's not something else going on. Once he reviews the x-rays, he'll let me know if I need a return visit. I'm guessing I won't. The steroids he put me on are only for a week. Six days actually. The first day I'm to take 6 pills. The second it's down to 5. Then 4 and so one. I don't know for sure how quickly these are supposed to work or how much they'll help. I'm half way through my pills for day two right now. I will say that the pain is less severe right now. It's still there, but I'm not limping or anything. I'm hoping that each successive day I'll see more improvement. It's killing me not being able to get out there and go for a long walk right now. And my mood for the last two days has be... different. I'm still feeling down, but different down from earlier this week. I really think the pills are doing something. My mind has been very prone to wandering, my focus has been off and I've been dragging. But at the same time, as exhausted as I was last night, I just couldn't fall asleep. Insomnia is one of the listed side effects. So is "mood, mental and personality changes." I'm poopy and I finally have an excuse. It's terrible, because on and off today all I wanted to do was cry. At least I know why and that's half the battle.
Last night we were supposed to record the new issue of Dial "H". I was just not into it. At all. And I convinced the guys that maybe it wasn't the best thing to do last night. So we chatted for a little while and went our separate ways.
I'm going away this weekend and maybe getting away will do me a little bit of good. One of the things I'm looking forward to is stopping into IKEA. I love that place. All this unnecessary Scandinavian crap that no one needs... It's wonderful.
Thanks for letting me babble on like Debbie Downer. I'm okay, really. I'm really feeling overwhelmed by everything right now and when I'm overwhelmed, I tend to start shutting down. At least I have this place where I can come and fight the shutting down. I know it's a losing battle because if I'm going to shut down, I'm going to shut down, but maybe I can prolong it a little. And I'm only on the pills for four more days anyway. No need to post comments on this crap. I know where I am, I know why I'm here and I know I'll be outta here soon. I'm fine.
3 comments:
I know, I'm not supposed to comment but I'm very disobedient! The 40s seem to be a time of the body acting up with various aches and pains. I've had horrible problems with my left knee since moving from California. I believe the heinous damp weather up here is to blame. It's been terribly depressing because we used to go for long walks with our dogs but for the past few years haven't been able to do that at all because of knee pain stiffness. I'm on vitamin D and calcium now which is helping tremendously but I'm telling you, the pain can make me feel like an old hag sometimes. :(
Fuck the rules! Disobedience rules!
It's amazing at how much has happened to me since hitting my 40s. It must be nature's way of telling me to start acting my age. I don't, but I'm starting to feel it.
You're not alone, Walt. I'm 40. In my head, I'm still 20, but my body has been changing/not working as well, too. Sometimes it gets to me, but this is how I deal with it. I remind myself that when I'm 80 and really decrepit, I'll be sad that I didn't enjoy my life when I had just a few aches and pains. We live a lot longer now. We can manage what used to debilitate people back at the little house on the prairie. I completely know how you feel, though. I'm just sayin'.
Kristie
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