My birthday was this week and it came and went just the way I like it... uneventful. I really don't like a big deal to be made about it, though there was a recent birthday that was the exception to the rule. Honestly, it's slightly more than just another day as far as I'm concerned.
The actual day was Wednesday. I took the day off from work. It wasn't planned to work out that way, but ended up that way. I was originally going to take last Friday off. I've been in need of a mental health day in a really big way and that was going to be it. However, Ken was sick and ended up home from work the entire week. He went into work on Thursday and couldn't make it the whole day, so I figured he wasn't going to go in Friday. I was right. Since my birthday was a few days later, I decided to do that instead. As much as I love a three day weekend, taking a day off right in the middle of the week certainly does break the week up nicely. I wish I could do that every week.
I told Ken Tuesday night that I wasn't working Wednesday and I told him flat out that there were rules. The major one was that I was going to take myself out for lunch and he was forbidden from calling me. The last two times I took a day off and went out for a quiet lunch, he managed to call just as I was sitting down to eat. And wouldn't get off the phone. I was looking forward to just having a little peace and quiet both those days and he took that away from me. Talking to him later that night, he said that not calling me that day was the hardest thing for him to do. And I believe it. But he didn't call, I had a nice lunch out (chicken marsala pizza!) and it was peaceful. Before lunch, I ran to the mall and treated myself to the new reissue of the Go-Go's first album. It's the 30th anniversary edition and it makes me feel really, really old. How can that album be that old?
I let Ken take me out to dinner that night. I was thinking that I wanted the diner, but he mentioned another place that we eat at occasionally and it sounded much better. It's called Wine N Diner. It's got diner food with a little twist on it. I saw a tip in FourSquare saying to get the sweet potato tater tots, so I ordered them only to find out they were all out. Instead, we got the deep fried brie. To say it was amazing would be an understatement. For dinner, I got the Mac n' Cheeseburger. It's a cheeseburger smothered in mac n' cheese. I wasn't sure how I was going to like it, but tried it anyway. It was great. I'm so getting that again.
On the way home, we stopped and got ice cream and made brownie sundaes. All in all, it was a great day. What made it especially nice was the mid-afternoon nap I managed to sneak in. I don't take enough naps. Today I was looking forward to one, but never found the time.
I spent most of the week eating poorly. I don't know what's happening in my head, but I find I've been making a lot of bad food choices and I've been making them on a much more regular basis than in the recent past. I know that I'm working my ass off at the gym, but that's not a good enough reason to be eating like I've been. I've somehow lost the balance between an occasional treat and out and out gluttony. I end up feeling full of shame for some of the things I've eaten, but it's not enough to dissuade me from doing it the very next meal. I keep a picture of me at my fattest at my desk at work and I think I need to move it to a more prominent place, a place where I will constantly see it. I'm so scared of becoming fat again. I can't allow it. I did not work as hard as I did to get healthy just to throw it all away.
Last night I slept for shit. I blame the Rapture. Minutes after I got into bed last night, we lost all power. The whole neighborhood did. This was just after 11. It was warm in the bedroom without the fan on, so I opened the window. Three times I would just nod off when I'd hear neighbors whooping it up out in the street in front of the house. The rest of the night was spent kind of restless. I kept waking up for no reason at all, all night long. I had the alarm set pretty early to get up for the gym, but ended up hitting snooze for an hour before I pulled myself out of bed. Tonight is going to be a very early night. I've had a slight pounding headache for the last couple hours. I'm sure it's just me being beat. I've got a book to start and a pillow calling my name.
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