Dodging Bullets

At least I felt like that's how today was going to end. I'll explain later.

I've been listening to some stuff this week that I haven't listened to in a long, long time. I just rediscovered Camper Van Beethoven. I can't remember the last time I played anything by them. I got to thinking about them while listening to Cracker, another band I haven't played in a good, long time. I also dusted off some old Squeeze, Madness, some old Elvis Costello and the Peter Gabriel back catalog. It's nice listening to some of this stuff that's gone neglected. Hearing some of this music brings me back to simpler times.

After losing my shit over my weight last week, I'm happy to report that things got back to normal this week. Once I got back into the swing of things, everything was back where it was supposed to be. In fact, this morning I got on the scale and saw a number in the 180s for the first time in months. It was 189.9, but it was still in the 180s. I know tomorrow I'm going to rebound, but as long as it isn't 8 pounds, I'll be happy. I had a big dinner tonight and I'm still feeling over stuffed hours later. I'm hoping I'll be able to get outside and do some walking sometime this weekend, but the forecast doesn't look like it's going to happen. Rain, rain and more rain. Coming home from dinner tonight, it started pouring, so that scratched tonight's attempt. I probably should lay off the walking a little while longer anyway, to give my foot a chance to rest. I really overdid it last weekend and I don't need any new problems.

A couple of weeks ago, Ken was cleaning out his office and found my old Universal Studios Annual Pass. I was shocked when I saw my picture on it. I don't even recognize me in it. It took a very long time for me to let go of that self-image of myself and I'm so glad I have. But I'm also grateful to find these reminders every once in a while. It makes me realize how far I've come and that I will fight tooth and nail to never go back. In comparison, I'm sticking a picture of myself from a couple of days ago. I barely see a resemblance between the two. And you want to know what's scary? I remember thinking when I had that picture taken that I looked really good. Now I see it and I want to cry.

Today the drama at work reached a new high and I think I finally found where my drama limit is set at. Naturally this is all about FrankenKlinger. I think I mentioned in a prior post that she was questioned by the state police about the theft of someone's bottle of Xanax. Well, ever since, things have spiraled out of control. After the questioning, she started coming into work clearly doped out of her mind. She allegedly told someone she's been popping her husband's Valium. And just from the looks of her, I'm guessing she's taking a couple pills at a time. She invited herself into my cube one of those days and I got a good look at her. Her eyes were so glassy that you could tell she was on something. She would be completely incoherent in the morning (more incoherent that her normal amount, and that's saying something). She called out sick the two days before vacation (but still managed to make it to a work sponsered bowling party one of those nights) and the three days after. She showed up yesterday for almost two whole hours. She's milking this victim thing to the hilt. But today things got bad. I was sitting at my desk, talking to a co-worker when we both stopped talking because there was some screaming coming from the pantry. The pantry is located roughly in the middle of the floor. I'm all the way down towards the end of the floor, so the screaming had to be very loud for me to hear it at my desk. It was FK, screaming her head off at the Director of our floor. This would be her boss's boss's boss's boss's boss. She was ripping him a new one for a variety of reasons, including being passed over for a promotion, being questioned by the cops and who knows what else. He tried to calm her down and she didn't take that well either, storming off to his office for more fighting. She left shortly thereafter, but to be honest, all I could think about the rest of the day was her coming back with a gun and having the last word. I'm not joking. I don't put it past her. She's insane and in the heat of everything, I thought she might do it. But I think I know her better than that. She's the type of person to carry a grudge and she will make you pay for it. She knows the rules of the game and she'll do everything she can while staying within the rules, if that makes sense. Now if she would just apply some of those smarts to actually working or getting along with people or just shutting her fucking mouth, life would be better. I'm sure nothing will come of her outburst today. Nothing ever does. Meh.