Because He Can't Leave Well Enough Alone

My house is a fucking mess right now. It looks like something blew up in three rooms. That something is Ken.

Last night I was sitting in my office, playing online, minding my own business. The cats both tend to hang out in here with me. Lucy has a perch in the window next to my desk and Ollie just has to be near me, no matter what. And that's how most of the night was. Until the cats caught wind of something. At one point, I noticed they were both on the floor on either side of the radiator. I didn't really pay it much attention until a little while later when they had moved on to the book shelf next to the radiator. Lucy was trying to look behind it on the right, then she'd move over to the left, then back to the right. Ollie was doing the same thing, but Lucy seemed to take the lead. So I assumed we had a mouse. No big whoop. It's still winter and mice tend to find their way inside. We haven't had a mouse in a few years. Whatever. The cats would stalk it, lose interest eventually, the mouse would escape, end of story.

Around 11, I was beat and climbed into bed. I put on the tv to watch the final episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse that was on the dvd in the dvd player. I wanted to watch it and then pass out. About 10 minutes in, Ken walks in the bedroom to recap the conversation he just had with his sister. He asked where the cats were and I told him they were in my office hunting a mouse. I should know better, because that just set off the panic. He started freaking out, ran into my office to check out the situation. Then he panicked some more because he couldn't find a flashlight. Then he panicked some more because he was sure it wasn't a mouse, but a bat. And the more he thought about it, the more freaked out he got. He decided he needed to move the book shelf out and make sure it wasn't a bat and also, if it was a mouse, he wanted to catch it and set it free. Of course, those were his only plans. He thought nothing out. He unpiles everything I had set up on top of the book shelf, moves it out enough for Ollie to jump in and grab the mouse and run. Now Ken's at the peak of his panic. Ollie has the mouse and is running away. I don't know what he thought was going to happen. Did he think he'd move the book shelf and the mouse would say "thank you" and climb into his hand? Now I'm back up out of bed and following Ollie downstairs. Because he's brilliant, Ken immediately heads for the kitchen for a bowl, a broom and a dust pan. What the hell he's going to do with these things is anyone's guess. Ollie's playing with his mouse and drops it at one point. The mouse escapes and hides under a chair. Freak boy doesn't know what to do, so he up ends the chair so the mouse can't hide under it anymore. Ollie goes after it, but it's too quick for him and ends up under the radiator. Now I get to watch Ollie stalk and Ken freak out. This is exactly what I want to be doing at 11:30. Eventually, Ken chases the mouse out from under the radiator and it heads for a chair in the next room over. And this is where we lose the mouse. Ken tips this chair up, too, and the mouse is gone. Vanished. I think it found a crevice to either hide in or escape. But now I have three rooms is complete disarray. I told him flat out last night that I'm not lifting a finger to clean up his mess downstairs. Conversely, I don't want him to touch anything in my office. He trashed it and I don't want him "fixing" anything.

I usually have Ollie sleep all cuddled up with me at night, but not last night. I was cat free the whole night, which was really nice. This morning I found him, still in complete hunting mode, sitting by the radiator. He's not done with that mouse, apparently. I'm guessing he didn't sleep at all last night. I'm sure he's going to crash soon. Lucy, on the other hand, gave up long ago and is sleeping on her perch right next to me.


Fairy Princess Holly said...

I'm Ken in this situation. Just sayin'!

Fairy Princess Holly said...

Trinket found 1 mouse in the basement a month ago. I'm still positive we have some sort of infestation. I've checked and secured all food, I'm constantly on the look out for any signs of rodents, (mouse poop) etc. I'm pretty sure it was an isolated incident, since there has been no sign of others, but I'm still freaked out. Trinket killed that mouse, and proudly showed us her kill. Hopefully she made an example of that mouse so the others have packed up and quietly left in the night. ;)

Breenlantern said...

you should come out for drinks with us at Rocks tonight and leave Ken home to clean up his mess and make peace with the mouse :-)

wcs said...

Our Callie (who is a dog) barks at insects on the ceiling. A fly, a mosquito, a gnat, even spiders.

I mean BARKS. Freakishly. So much that we have to take her out of the room, get the broom, and eliminate the poor, innocent critter from its perch.

She needs to get over this before summer.