January 2014 Pot Luck

I'm not quite sure what my aversion to writing in this thing has been lately.  I have things to write about, but when it comes time to do it, I find a thousand other things to do instead, 99% of which are huge wastes of time.  Tonight I'm channeling some of the excess energy I have that I'm not using to put down something.  Anything.

I've got the extra energy because I'm blowing off the gym tonight.  I was hoping to go, but the weather sucks balls.  It's been snowing since late last night/early this morning.  We don't have much accumulation yet, but the roads are really messy.  That, and it's two degrees outside.  After weighing my options, I decided to blow it off tonight and go tomorrow instead.  I'll still be keeping on track as I usually don't go Fridays, but I do go Thursdays.

And speaking of which, even though it's Thursday, it really, really, really, really feels like Monday today.  This whole week has been messed up.  Having a holiday right in the middle of the week screws around with everything.  Yesterday felt like Sunday all day.  We went out to breakfast like a normal Sunday, I did chores like a normal Sunday, I cooked dinner like a normal Sunday.  But it wasn't.  Tomorrow is going to mess with my head even more because I put a slip in a work to take tomorrow off.  By the time I'm all shoveled out, I'm not going to want to have anything to do with work.  But it should be easier than usual.  On Tuesday our new snow blower was delivered.  There's no way I can do another winter with just a shovel.  I'm too old for this shit.  Ken cleared off the driveway just before I got home from work.  He said it was a little tougher to maneuver than he thought it would be.  I'll be the judge of that tomorrow when it's my turn.

I usually don't make New Year's Resolutions, mostly because they're stupid.  If I want to make a change, I usually don't wait for a special occasion to do it.  I just do it.  But since it's the new year, I thought I would put it out there in the universe that I'm done with stupid people and stupid people games.  I'm really sick and tired of people purposely being vague or evasive.  I'm really tired of the lack of common courtesy.  I know I space it from time to time, but that's not what I'm talking about.  I'm over people who never, ever seem to have it or use it.  I'm done with them.  The older I get, the shorter my attention span for bullshit gets.  

I'm not a huge fan of sideburns.  On some guys they look great, but on most, not so much.  That being said, I've decided to see if I can grow my own.  My facial hair is a fucking train wreck and I've got some big patchy areas, but the sideburns portion of my face seems to not have this problem.  So I'm working on them right now.  They don't look so great yet, but I'm hoping that in a week or two more they'll look like real sideburns and not the joke they look like now.  We'll see.

Like every day of my life, I'm still struggling with my weight.  I know most of the struggle is only visible to me, but it's very real.  I still compulsively record my weight every single day.  I still weigh myself twice a day, though the times have changed.  I used to weigh myself first thing in the morning and last thing at night.  I don't do it at bedtime anymore, instead doing it just before going to the gym so I'll have an accurate number to enter into whatever machine I'm doing that particular day.  The struggle has been tougher the last month or so, but it's that time of year.  There's food everywhere from the middle of November until now.  Add to that the cruise I was on two weeks before Thanksgiving and it's been a bumpy road full of temptations.  I know I failed more times than I would have liked to, but for the most part, I haven't let my weight get too far out of control.  Ultimately, I'd like to be below 195 pounds, so any day I can be beneath that number is a good day.  If I can get below 190, it's a fantastic day.  If you look at my weigh ins for 2013, it doesn't look like there's any struggle at all.  It's all mostly good news.  But I have to work hard to keep it looking like that.  There was a spell when I felt like just throwing in the towel recently.  I think lack of sleep contributed to that, but I was just so fucking sick of having to push myself as hard as I do to maintain my weight.  I'm mostly over that (for now) and it's a good thing.  I still hate that I have to work this hard, but I abused myself for so long that this is a small price to pay.

That's enough random rantings for one night.

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