I'm sitting here beating myself up. I've been a gluttonous pig and I don't know why. Today was the day I was supposed to get my bad self back under control, stay away from the shit and refocus. But it didn't quite happen. First of all, with my willpower pretty low, I passed by a bowl full of Hershey's mini chocolate eggs. I grabbed a few. They weren't very good at all, yet I ate a few. And then I had a couple more. Okay, not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things, but I know better than to get all hopped up on sugar first thing in the morning. I had a sensible lunch (big ass salad, apple and popcorn) and it filled me up. So, not being very hungry for dinner, what do I grab? A left over biscuit from last night's dinner and a big ass brownie. Now, I wasn't even hungry, but having the brownies in the house pretty much negates any willpower I might have. Again, it teaches me that I can't be trusted to have shit in the house. This morning I was up 2 pounds from yesterday. That's a result of the ice cream from Saturday night. I'm scared for tomorrow morning because I'll see the results of the brownies and pudding I had last night. I need to refocus tomorrow. After all, I can't be as big as a house for my next date with Sean (on Thursday). He'll dump me quicker than you can say "fat ass."
Can I talk about inconsiderate people for a moment? Yeah, this is about work, where I work with nothing but people who are nothing but self-involved that they don't think of the effect their actions might have on others. I sit near a supervisor who decided that her hair wasn't doing what it was supposed to do today. So, at her desk, she emptied a bottle of cheap smelling hairspray onto her head. While normally I wouldn't give a crap, the cheap stuff she used was floral based and I had an immediate allergic reaction to it. My eyes became all glassy, my head started throbbing and my skin started turning red. And I got to sit there and breathe it in all day. I left work three hours ago and my right eye is still itchy and dry, but the headache is nearly gone and I only have a couple of red blotches on my cheeks. Is it asking too much to wish she would have gone into the restroom to do her hair up? Am I out of line for wishing that?