Why I Can't Have Kids

I know I've mentioned before that I entertained the idea of being a father for a little while, but quickly came to the conclusion that it's just not for me.  I think I'd make a kick ass uncle, but father?  Nope.  Here's another very valid (at least in my mind) reason I can't handle the pressures of having a kid.  Lucy had a vet appointment today.  It's the first time I've ever brought a cat in for a dental check up.  At her last regular check up, the vet said she had a lot of build up on her teeth and we should make an appointment to get that taken care of.  The appointment should have been for a few months ago, but we kept pushing it back and pushing it back.  Well, today was finally the day.  And I've been a basket case since last night.  You see, Lucy is kind of my special needs baby.  She's all fucked up inside and is on a prescription diet because her body can't process most foods.  She hates her food and would much rather eat anything else in the world.  I feel terrible, because she'll just sit and watch Ollie eat his food.  He can (and does) eat anything he wants.  It breaks my heart when I see her just watching him.  I know I'm putting human emotions and feelings on my cat when I say this, but I'm sure she's sitting there wondering why she's being punished like this.  I feel bad for her also because Ollie will beat up on her.  She's able to fight back if she wanted to, but she mostly doesn't.  I kind of feel like she's the fat retarded girl who constantly gets picked on at school and doesn't know enough to defend herself.

I called the vet a little while ago to get an update on Lucy.  They'd just finished up with her and she was still pretty groggy.  She had to have an extraction.  The tooth had a cavity below the gum line.  She has another tooth that may need extracting in the future, but not right now.  We'll reevaluate it next year.  Her gums apparently are very sensitive.  Even while unconscious she was reacting to the poking and prodding.  To tell you that I'm fighting back tears right now is no lie.  Just thinking about my poor little baby is getting me really upset.  She's going to be miserable when she gets home and I'm sure she's going to be miserable for a few days while she heals.  I'm hoping and praying we don't have any behavioral issues with her because of it.  Right now we're having slight little box issues.  She won't go near the boxes when Ollie's in one of them and twice now we've caught her trying to pee elsewhere.   One of those times we managed to chase her to the spare box in the basement.  The other time she climbed into her basket of toys and let loose.

I'm this fragile about my cat.  I can't imagine what a mess I'd be if I had a kid that had any sort of issue, whether it's a runny nose or a broken arm.