Push

I'm trying to get myself to write here a little more often than I've been doing, but I don't always have anything to say, or when I do, it seems like I'm too beat to form words in my head.  Tonight I'm somewhere in the middle of these two scenarios. Hopefully something that makes sense will result from this attempt.

It's no surprise that I don't function too well in chaos.  I've mentioned before that I'm having a pretty tough go lately.  All the chaos surrounding the house repairs and remodels are driving me insane.  I'm handling it the best I can and have been trying to use it to push me to find something fun and worthwhile in it all.  This weekend was all about redoing the master bedroom.  I initiated the work because Ken just wasn't feeling it.  I got the ceiling painted and that motivated Ken to start the walls.  The room is now complete (except the part of the wall behind the radiator that Ken forgot) and it looks fantastic.  And I feel great about it.  The room is back the way it should be and I find huge amounts of solace in that.

Yesterday I was promised a "day of beauty."  It's a line from Muriel's Wedding (my favorite movie!) and what it means is I get a day off from life, from chores, from all that bullshit.  My days of beauty tend not to pan out completely, but that's okay.  As long as I get a little quiet time, I'm happy.  Yesterday, like most, was spent doing chores.  But I took huge comfort in that.  I spent hours in the kitchen cleaning and straightening and organizing.  Getting things back to normal is so good for my psyche.  I didn't mind cleaning in the slightest.  I concentrated on the downstairs because upstairs is the area we're working in right now.  Just doing things like dishes and laundry and cooking and grocery shopping was the normality I was craving.  I was hoping to read comics all day, but I never even got the chance.  The only break I took was to play a little bit of Wii.

This morning I was thrown back into the chaos.  Work has been extremely chaotic.  The post office lost a mass mailing of ours and it's been hell trying to deal with the people who are still missing their mail.  I wasn't directly involved in any of it today, but just about everyone else in my area was and just watching and listening to them deal with the mess was unsettling enough.  A couple more days and things should hopefully be resolved.

Yeah, I'm a pussy, but I know it.