I'm kind of pissed off at myself right now. I've spent the entire day having a great big pity party for myself. And not for any one good reason. It was a bunch of little things that all added up to it and now that I've had a chance to work through it, I feel incredibly annoyed with myself. When I get into one of these moods, I mentally check out and the whole world could collapse around me and I wouldn't notice. Today I had a bunch of things I wanted to get done. I did manage to do the last two loads of laundry and go grocery shopping. What fun. But the rest of the day I spent sitting in front of the computer accomplishing nothing. Well, I did get my high score for the week on Bejeweled Blitz, but that's my only accomplishment. How sad is that?

I think this pity party started yesterday. We went out and loaded up on cupcakes yesterday morning. We were going over to our friends Sean & Jeffrey's house and we were in charge of something sweet. There's a bakery just up the street we've never been to, but I've heard great things about. We investigated and found an assortment of cupcakes that made me drool. We decided that that's what we were going to bring. And because we had never been there before, we bought two extras, to try out in the car. They also gave us two more cupcakes. So in the car, we each scarfed down two of these things. They were sooooooo damn good. So good. And that should have been it for me, but sometimes I misplace my self control. Later, at Sean & Jeffrey's, I wolfed down two more after the fantastic lunch that was served. So today I've been focusing on all the cupcakes I ate yesterday rather than the great time I had or all the new comics I brought home.

Weighing in today didn't help. While I weighed in at 192, which is right in my goal area, I can't help but think that I'm 6 pounds heavier than I was last week. That's a huge increase in 7 days and that's got me down. It shouldn't, though. I know I'm being a freak about it.

And lugging comic boxes yesterday didn't help me one little bit. I woke up this morning with some back pain, which also fueled the fire. It's so easy for me to let things get to me. I hate when I allow myself to feel defeated. It's made me lose an entire day of my life.

Tomorrow is going to be a better day. I'll be back to work, I'll have my weekday structure and I'll get back on track. Not only that, but I'll be one step closer to vacation, which has been ruling my life for the last month and a half.

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