Milestones

I hit two major milestones in my life this week. Well, major to me, at least.

The first one didn't come without any drama, though. I paid off my car. I know that's not really a major milestone in the grand scheme of things, but to me, it's pretty big. It's the first brand new car that's I've ever paid off. It's not the first new car I've had, though. Until this car, my previous four or five cars were all leases. When it came time to turn in my last lease, laws in New York had changed and most dealers were no longer leasing cars. That eventually changed back to the way it was, but left me little choice. So I purchased the car I was intending on leasing. I was actually still about 3 1/2 payments away from getting it paid off, but all the overtime I've been working made it possible to just get it done with. I called and got the payoff quote for my car, which was valid until August 2nd. On July 23rd I mailed out my final payment. And then forgot about it. A couple days ago, I decided to check on the status of my payment and according to Chase's website, no payment had been received yet. It was over a week and surely they had my payment. I checked again the following night and they did get my payment and applied it to my account. The only problem was they applied $174.13. I don't know what that number is, but it certainly wasn't what I mailed in. I decided to give it one more day and then check. Nothing had changed. They still had me down for paying a fraction of what I sent in. I checked the bank and my check had cleared. So a phone call in got me a little further. They wanted faxes of the check and whatever else I had to prove I paid them. They said it was going to take until the 14th to investigate, which was all fine and dandy, but I had another payment due before then. If I didn't get a payment in, it would leave a mark on my credit. I decided to wait it out and actually, by that evening, the situation was straightened out. My actual payment was applied and the other one was taken off. So I now own my car. Kind of. You see, my payoff quote was only valid until August 2nd. Since they dragged their heels on applying my payment, I now owe a little more interest. My new balance, which I intend to send a check to cover after I finish this blog post, is five cents. Because I'm a passive aggressive cunt.

My other milestone is much more significant to me. This week marked both my three year anniversary of the diet that changed my life and the one year anniversary of hitting my goal weight. August 4, 2006 was the day I was horrified to find out I hit the 300 pound mark. I swore to myself that I would never, EVER see 300 pounds, but I did. Nothing had ever motivated me to really diet before. Over the years I would try to eat better, eat less, exercise more, but nothing ever stuck. As long as I wasn't 300 pounds, I was fine. My scale at home was telling me I was a little less (though not much less) than 300 pounds, so I knew I was safe. But the doctor's scale told me a different story. And that was all the motivation I needed to make a change. The first year, I lost 66 pounds. I remember hitting that first anniversary and being amazed at what I had accomplished. That was more than a pound a week. My original weight loss goal was to lose 100 pounds, but as I got closer and closer to hitting that number, it didn't seem good enough for me. I wanted to be LESS than 200 pounds. I wanted to be 190. I thought that would give me enough wiggle room that if I ate something I shouldn't, I would still be less than 200. And by the second anniversary, I was exactly at 190 pounds. Again, the sense of accomplishment I felt was nothing short of amazing. I have never been prouder of myself. Until now.

For the last year, I have managed to maintain my weight. If I said it's been an easy year, I'd be lying my ass off. It's not been. Maintaining my weight is hard. I still have to watch everything I eat. It's not like I hit my goal and now I can resume to the way I was eating before. I still have to be aware of everything I put in my mouth. Granted, now that I'm where I want to be, I can be a little more lax and have a bowl of ice cream without feeling guilty if I want (though, to be honest, I've yet to have a bowl of ice cream that didn't come with a huge side of guilt) or have some candy or whatever. But I still have to count my calories, watch my carbs... all that bullshit. Next week I go away to Austin and I'm kind of scared about my eating habits. It's very easy to control myself when I'm at home, but when I'm away, I don't know what to expect. The next five weeks are going to be the toughest test I've faced. After Austin, I come home for a short break before I head out on vacation again. Last year I gained six pounds at Disney World and it took me about six weeks to drop that. I can only imagine what a double dose of vacation is going to do to my anorexic shape.

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