11.19.2011

Hard

I'm having a really hard time with life in general lately.  It's been keeping me from posting here on anything close to a regular basis.  The last thing I want to do when I'm having a not so great time is to come here and rehash it.

I know I've mentioned that I've been having a terrible time readjusting back to life since Mom passed in September.  Since she's been gone, I've taken on a laundry list of things that I'm worried about, concerned with, helping out with and feeling helpless about.  Add on top of that the regular curve balls that life throws your way and I've just been a mess.  And I've noticed that things that usually don't bother me are starting to, and that the things that usually do bother me are bothering me on a much grander scale.  I feel like I'm plummeting down into a bottomless abyss and I can't seem to stop myself no matter how hard I try.

In an attempt to reboot myself, Ken booked a (sort of) last minute vacation.  We were supposed to go on a cruise in December, but the final payment was due right when Mom was sick and not knowing how much time she had left, we cancelled the trip.  Ken decided that even though money is tight, we needed to get away, so he booked a new cruise for that same time period.  I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this.  I just want to lay out in the sun, read comics and get my mind off of EVERYTHING in my life right now.  I really hope this is the kick in the pants I need to turn things around.  Because I miss my pre-September 2011 life.  I miss my friends.  I miss playing online.  I miss laughing.

3 comments:

playwithmyfood.com said...

Hope the cruise turns out to be what you need. Allowing yourself time to do nothing at all is really important, I think, and can really be what we each need to recharge our batteries. Yeah, bring a stack of comics, find a lounge chair, and I expect that road to recovery will present itself.

nico said...

have a great time!

fearthedrummajor said...

Jealous of your cruise! Have a great time.

Oh and some of your friends miss you too!