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So, if you've been following this blog for a while (God help you if you have), you know I set a goal back in January to go 1,200 miles over the course of 2011.  Methods to get my 1,200 include walking, treadmill, elliptical and stationary bike.  I was hesitant to set such a lofty goal for myself.  I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to do 1,000, let alone 1,200.  Well, I continue to amaze myself.  After tonight's workout, I am a skootch above 100 miles from hitting 3,000 miles.  Three THOUSAND miles.  The thought just boggles my mind.  Naturally, because this is me, I'm almost to this awesome goal and my knee is giving me problems.  I'm not sure what's going on with it, but the last week it's been hurting.  And not really pain hurting, but it feels odd hurting, if that makes any sense.  I really need to make an appointment and get it checked out.  I've got to get my foot checked out anyway, so what's another body part?

I've got 32 days left to do 100.32 miles.  That averages to just over 3 miles a day.  I think I can manage that.

Scream!

Scream, as in "I'm going to..." My computer is getting so clunky and so slow and it's making me want to rip what little hair I have left out of my head. I think knowing that my Christmas present is on it's way isn't helping matters. That Christmas present is a brand spanking new computer. This one I've had for a number of years and it's done right by me, but it's getting so damn slow and I can't take it much longer.

I'm syncing my iPod as I write this and that's probably not a good thing as multitasking is something good ol' Sebastian is not that fond of anymore.

Blah Humbug!

Just another mish mash post of things on my mind.

Thanksgiving came and went and was much easier on me than I thought it would be.  It's the first major holiday without Mom, so it was definitely weird.  I had my Dad and sister up for the day.  I cooked us up the full spread.   I knew Mom would have loved it.  I know she absolutely loved coming up to my house for the holidays because she didn't have to cook and clean.  And I never gave her food poisoning. 

The day itself was good, but after Dad and Tina left and I went down to my office while Ken napped, I found that I was getting really, really sad and depressed.  I thought about it quite a bit and realized that I'm still trying to be strong for everyone and only when I'm alone am I allowing myself to feel it.  It's no longer a conscious effort, either, because I really wasn't trying to put on a brave face, I just did.  

Ken was gung ho to put up the Christmas decorations this weekend, but I just wasn't feeling it.  At all.  It's not that I'm hating the holidays, but I'm just feeling very blah about them.  Something in my head clicked tonight, though, and I dug out all the Christmas stuff and put up both the trees.  And I actually had a good time doing it.  So much so that I wanted to run out and buy some new ornaments.  The ones we use on the "upstairs" tree are old and I'm kind of getting bored with them.  I'm quite perplexed as to how I did a 180 on Christmas, but I'm very happy I did.  Maybe tomorrow night after work I'll run out and look at stuff.

I was very proud of myself this long weekend when it came to eating.  I kept things under control (for the most part), while maintaining a gym routine.  The scale would raise an eyebrow at me, but it didn't swear or belittle me once.  And then there was today.  I don't feel like I ate a lot, but I did have a few drinkie drinks and I'm feeling like I ate three whole Thanksgiving dinners right now.  I had the leftover pizza I brought home from the restaurant for lunch and some leftover turkey and a sweet potato for dinner.  But I feel enormous right now.  I have a feeling tomorrow is the day the scale loses it's shit with me. 

I need to get my attitude back in check for work tomorrow.  I've been letting everything little thing get to me and it's made my days pretty horrible.  I've had almost an entire week off and I hope that's enough.

The worst part of having five days off in a row from work is about this time of night on Sunday.  It's where I start thinking about all the things I planned on doing while I was off and how little of what I wanted to do got done.  

I think I'm going to see Aimee Mann when she hits the area again.  She's coming near the end of January.  I'm looking forward to it.  She puts on a great show and it's been maybe three or four years since I've seen her.

Time to go check and see if Amazing Race has started yet.  Football ran over... AGAIN!  If not, I need to shave this nasty scruff I've got all over my face.

Toy Whore

If you know one thing about me, you know I'm a die hard comic book fan.  I picked up my first comic book when I was ten years old and I haven't looked back since.  As I've grown older, my fascination with the funny books has grown to include all things comics related.  I love buttons and t-shirts and posters and drinking glasses and toys.  Man, do I love toys.  When I was young, I had super-hero toys that I played with and like almost every other toy I owned, I destroyed.  I wish I could go back in time and snatch some of those toys from my younger self before that happened.  Specifically, I'd love to go back and steal all the Mego toys I had.  But I can't so I won't dwell on that thought for fear that I'll start crying.

I've blogged recently about how I've been having a hard time dealing with life lately.  Yesterday was another particularly bad day.  I don't know why I let things get to me like I do, but I do.  I try to fight it, but I almost always seem to lose.  Yesterday was a great big loss.  But I knew I was taking today off of work for some much needed r&r.  As the day went on and as my mood got worse, all I could think about was how I was going to go blow off steam by doing a good ol' toy hunt.  And by that, what I mean is I pick a store a decent distance away from here as my starting point and then I hit every store that carries action figures from there all the way home.  My plan was to do that this morning, then hit the gym, then start my Thanksgiving chores.  But I didn't work late last night, got to the gym relatively early and realized I had a lot of time last night to do that.  So I did, which left today wide open.  My starting point was the furthest away of the two local Toys R Us stores.  That store I have better luck at then I do the one much closer to me.  The store was mostly a bust except I noticed that all the Green Lantern toys are now on clearance.  There was one that I've been wanting, but it was just too expensive for me to justify it.  But it's now marked down to $19.99 and I couldn't resist.  It's this, the Green Lantern/Sinestro two pack.  I really dig it and now I own it.

But otherwise, Toys R Us was a big fat bust.  The line I'm most interested in right now is Mattel's DC Universe Classics.  They had none of the recent waves of the figures, which bummed me out.  I'm trying to complete my Apache Chief build a figure and I'm only half way there.  I jumped on the DCU Classics line a little too late.  I used to see them in Target all the time and as neat as they were, I thought that DC Direct did a much better job at making action figures.  But DC Direct's output has slowed way down and the Classics line has been getting more and more appealing to me.  I've been picking up the toys when I can find them, but it's getting harder and harder to find them.  My local Toys R Us hasn't gotten in anything new in over a year.  The further Toys R Us is about 2 or 3 waves behind.  I've been having a little luck at one of the Target stores and one Wal-Mart, a store I'd prefer not to go into.  But both locations I'm having luck at are not the closest stores to me.  I've noticed that Target is still carrying the line while Wal-Mart only has it at a few selected locations.  I could always buy the figures online, but there's something to be said about being able to find the toys in a physical store and to not have to wait for them to arrive.  (But on the flip side of that coin, I LOVE getting packages in the mail.)

I did a decent job of finding some toys I really wanted at this year's New York Comic Con.  As much as I love toy shopping, I love bargain shopping even more.  I found a bunch of things for dirt cheap and that makes me very, very happy.  I was better prepared for my shopping this year than I was last year.  I have want lists conveniently located in my telephone now for easy reference.  I'm itching to go back already, but the show is nearly a year away.

I'm very lucky that I have an entire (huge) office to devote to my collection of toys and comics.  I'm really bad at guessing the size of this room, but I would say it's probably 15X30 feet and it's chock full of my junk.  And I'm running out of room!  In our old house, my office was a 14x14 room that was crammed high with all my stuff.  Now it's all spread out, I've expanded beyond control and now I'm wishing I had another 15 or 20 square feet to display it all.

I'm an odd collector, I think.  Some of the packages I won't open, while others barely make it home before they're ripped to shreds.  There's no clear logic behind it.  I mean, there is a partial logic.  Some of the lines looks so good in their packages that I don't want to open them.  But I also have some things still in the package for no good reason.  But I'm not keeping things packaged because it will keep more of the value to it.  I don't collect like that.  I collect things that I like and things that make me happy.  I plan on keeping this shit until I die and then once I'm dead, it won't matter if they're worth a thing or not.

I took some pictures of my toys today since I was thinking about blogging about them.  The post didn't come out at all how I thought it would, but that's the beauty of just sitting here, turning your brain off and letting your fingers just go.  I hope I've made sense, but again, I don't really care. :-)

This is a shot of my Justice Society figures

And here is the Justice League

We've got Red Lanterns and Orange Lanterns and Yellow Lanterns and Green Lanterns.....

Two of my favorite action figures, Hawkgirl & Hawkman.  Both are dressed in their Earth-1 costumes

Green Lanterns

Power Girls

Wonder Women

Welcome To Smallville.  This sign is reversible and the other side welcomes you to Midvale

Although I predominantly collect toys based on DC Comics characters, I do have characters from elsewhere.  This is Kevin Matchstick from the comic MAGE

Curt Swan inspired Superman figures

That pesky Velma.  I love her.

My Mom collected cookie jars.  She had them up the wazoo.  After she passed away, my Dad let me take this one.  Not only is it beautiful, but I think of my Mom every time I look at it.

The Phantom Stranger is lurking from the rafters above my desk.

I've got Super-Villains watching from above.

Justice League Unlimited toys

I don't have a proper home for these, so they're just sitting on a table for now.  And I need to find more of these Mego inspired Doctor Who figures.  I love them.

An example of figures kept in the box.  Alex Ross Kingdom Come toys just look better that way.

I love these.

This bookcase has a lot of miscellaneous toys.

My shrine to Supergirl and Batgirl

Blackest Night figures.  I'm still missing a few.

I keep this bookcase full of the DC Universe Classics.  When I end up with too many, I start opening them to make room.

Teen Titans on the bottom, Legion of Super-Heroes (and Legion of Super-Pets) on top.

Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else

Twilight

I suddenly get what the big deal about these Twilight movies is all about.

Hard

I'm having a really hard time with life in general lately.  It's been keeping me from posting here on anything close to a regular basis.  The last thing I want to do when I'm having a not so great time is to come here and rehash it.

I know I've mentioned that I've been having a terrible time readjusting back to life since Mom passed in September.  Since she's been gone, I've taken on a laundry list of things that I'm worried about, concerned with, helping out with and feeling helpless about.  Add on top of that the regular curve balls that life throws your way and I've just been a mess.  And I've noticed that things that usually don't bother me are starting to, and that the things that usually do bother me are bothering me on a much grander scale.  I feel like I'm plummeting down into a bottomless abyss and I can't seem to stop myself no matter how hard I try.

In an attempt to reboot myself, Ken booked a (sort of) last minute vacation.  We were supposed to go on a cruise in December, but the final payment was due right when Mom was sick and not knowing how much time she had left, we cancelled the trip.  Ken decided that even though money is tight, we needed to get away, so he booked a new cruise for that same time period.  I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this.  I just want to lay out in the sun, read comics and get my mind off of EVERYTHING in my life right now.  I really hope this is the kick in the pants I need to turn things around.  Because I miss my pre-September 2011 life.  I miss my friends.  I miss playing online.  I miss laughing.

Just Because

Nuptuals

Tonight I was asked for the very first time to participate in a wedding.  Well, not entire true, but close enough.  Last week I was asked if I'd be willing to make a speech at the reception and I freaked and said "no."  I hate speaking in front of people in the worst kind of way.  Instead, Ken is going to make that speech.  Tonight I was asked instead to read a poem.  I agreed.  I'm still nervous as hell, but the attendance of the wedding is going to be significantly smaller (wedding is Friday, reception is Saturday) and what I have to say is already prepared.  The first half of the poem is going to be read by one of the bride's sister-in-law.  I read the second part, which is as follows:

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.

Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,

commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly,

and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life

is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life,

new experiences, new ways of expressing

a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage,

they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer

than any spoken or written words.

Marriage is a promise made in the hearts of two people

who love each other, and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

I hope I don't stutter too much or stumble over my words, as I tend to do when I get nervous.

The Curley Luck

My Dad always said that if it wasn't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all.  Lately, I would have to agree with him.  It seems I'm in the middle of a particularly bad bad luck streak.  Nothing seems to be going quite the way I've planned things.  Things seemed to have taken a bad turn in September.  Let's recap:

• Mom went into the hospital on September 2 with back pain only to find she had terminal cancer with just weeks left to live.
• Ken and I were all set to get married on October 1.  Unfortunately, that's the week Mom passed away and instead held her funeral that weekend.
• I took a weekend trip to New York to attend the New York Comic Con.  The morning I left for New York, I woke up with a very sore throat.  By the end of that day, I had completely lost my voice.
• Ken and I made plans to spend the Labor Day weekend with our friends Eric & Brett in New York.  The trip had to be cancelled because that's the weekend Mom ended up in the hospital.
• We had another trip planned, this time to Connecticut for Ken's cousin's wedding.  Again, this had to be cancelled due to Mom's failing health.
• We got in the car to go down to Dad's house two weeks ago.  As soon as we hit the highway, the car started doing all sorts of horrible things.  We turned around, got it to the garage only to find out we were minutes from a total breakdown.  I don't even want to discuss how much money the repairs cost.
• The mortgage refinance we just went through was FROM HELL!  Nuff said.
• This weekend we drove to New Jersey for our friend Gregg's birthday party.  Naturally, a freak autumn Nor'easter hits and we drive three hours in the snow to arrive at another friend's house.  When we arrived, the tree in his front yard had just fallen into the driveway, taking down some power lines.  About an hour after we got there, the electricity failed.  The roads were too bad for us to venture to the party, instead living like the Ingalls family for the night with no heat or power.

I could go on, but I won't.  I'm sick of the shitty luck.  I'm ready for things to turn around and for something good to happen.  I don't think that's asking too much.