9.26.2009

You Knew It Was Coming

I'm laying in bed right now, watching Green Lantern: First Flight. I bought it a few weeks ago and started watching it that night, but was so tired, I fell asleep right after starting it. I've been meaning to get to it for a while now, but haven't been able to find the time. Tonight is finally that night. I'm about 3/4 of the way through it right now. It's been okay. Not terrible, not fantastic. Just okay. I understand that these movies aren't going to be 100% faithful to the comics, and I'm fine with that. It's just that I think they could have done a little better with the plot. I haven't seen too many of the DC direct to dvd movies. This is only my third, after Superman: Doomsday and DC: New Frontier. New Frontier is still my favorite of the three. I'm looking forward to more of these movies in the future.

I've done a lot of feeling shitty about myself tonight. The cause is the fact that I ate a little too much at dinner tonight and I can still feel it in my stomach. I came back from Florida 7 pounds up from when I left. When I left, I was already up a few pounds over where I want to be. So add the two of them together and I'm about 10 pounds up from where I need to be. This is the heaviest I've been in over a year and it's been depressing me. Last year I came home from vacation up 6 pounds and it took over a month for me to lose the vacation weight. Even though I know it will probably be the same deal this time around, I'm pretty pissed off at myself about it. All I know is I have to get tougher on myself again, refocus and just do it. It's been hard not being able to get out and exercise like I was doing most of the summer because of the sciatic nerve issue I've been having. However, I walked home from work for the first time all year one day this week and I was mostly fine. A little sore, a little achy, but mostly okay. This gives me hope that I can ease myself back into something of a walking regime again. I really miss the feeling I get from a long walk. If I'm feeling up to it tomorrow, I'm going to try and get out there and walk some. Well, if I'm up to it and the weather is up to it. Tomorrow is my official weekly weigh in. I'm scared to death of what I'm going to see, but looking forward to getting my act back together.

2 comments:

Dyl said...

You and me both. Let's shake on it.

D x

Breenlantern said...

We all ebb and flow. So long as you don't stop fighting to lose what you want and stay where you want, you are fine. It saddens me how very hard on yourself you get when there is some weight gain. Your success and transformation is phenomenal, yet you beat yourself up over every little pound. It is OK to want to keep off the weight, and I understand, once you've been heavy and have worked your ass off, literally, to get thin, how hard it can be to gain even a little, but that's ow bodies work baby. You will never stay at one weight always...never. There's going to be ups and downs. You have made a lifestyle change. You are never going to be "that" Walt again because that is not who or what you are anymore. Don't let all that hard work go to waste by being so obsessed about and miserable over every single ounce and pound that you can't enjoy the new you. You are amazing Walt and you don't deserve how badly you treat yourself. Please try to work on acknowledging the weight gain, deciding you want to take it off and doing it in a rational, healthy, positive way without all the safe hate and agony. You're punishing yourself for being human and it saddens me.