I Hate...

...when my mind lets me know I'm a much weaker person that I think I am. Thanks, brain. Really appreciate that.

Here's my issue. I don't deal with change very well. I don't deal with chaos very well. I don't deal with disruption very well. But I think I've made great strides over the last few years in coping with these things. Until today. We're planning on selling our house next year and buying a new one. Sure, this has me a bit stressed because I don't like change. At all. Our house really needs to have a bunch of work done to it before we can put it on the market. I understand this. There were tons of things we intended on doing when we bought the place, but we ran out of steam. Now it's time to motivate and get those things done to make the house more appealing to potential buyers. This weekend we're prepping the house for the ceiling guys to come in and put new ceilings in on the first floor. They don't start until Thursday, but seeing how this is a nice three day weekend, we thought we could get most of it done early and not stress out during the week. The first project we tackled was taking down the hideous drop ceiling that's in our foyer. We're guessing this was put up to cover up the water damage in the ceiling. A quick, cheap and easy solution to the problem. About five minutes into the project, my head started pounding. Really pounding. I popped some pills to try to take the edge off, but no such luck. My brain was telling me that this is change and chaos and disruption by giving me the tension headache. Once the project was done, the headache was gone. Fancy that.

We ran some errands this afternoon and then decided it's a great time to try and start emptying the entire first floor of the house. All the rooms need to be emptied for the guys to do their stuff. Five minutes into emptying the first room, the headache came back. I really don't get it. I thought I was fine with all this. My subconscious is obviously telling me something different. I tried not to think too much about it and just work. We got three of the four rooms mostly done, leaving only things we still need to use until the work starts. The living room, the room we spend the most time in, will be last. The thought of moving that heavy ass tv does not make me happy.

Once the ceilings are done, our plan is to only put back the essential things we need, foregoing all the rest of the stuff. In a couple of months we're planning on having all the floors refinished (another project we ran out of time and steam for) and we're going to have move everything out again. At least it will be less stuff than this time.

All the while we're trying to purge stuff. Ken's sick of the clutter and I really want to simplify my life. We made a run to Good Will today and the car is packed for another one tomorrow. My friend Sean stopped by this morning to pick up some stuff. Purging is really difficult. It's amazing at how attached you get to some of your stuff, even if it's been packed away and hasn't seen the light of day for years. I'm trying, though. I'm sure I'm going to bring more stuff to the new place than I should, but as long as I can start getting rid of stuff now, hopefully it won't be as much.

Tomorrow we're moving out some more stuff, but hopefully it won't take all day like today. I need a little time to detox from this. At least that's what my subconscious is telling me.

1 comment:

Nessa said...

Just take a deep breath! It will be scary, but its an adventure :)

good luck!