I weighed in and got a very nice official number for the week. 201. I'm very, very happy with it. I was afraid it would be higher. Now I just have to behave this week and make up for the damage I just did.
(And in case you're wondering, the damage I just did was Chocolate Molten Lava Cake. Diane from Tasty Jewelry sent me the chocolate and the recipe and I whipped it up for dessert tonight. I can't tell you the last time I had cake. And it's been even longer since I've had cake I baked myself. It was delicious and I'm forever indebted to Diane for making this possible. Unless I weigh 206 next week, then I'm forever angry!!)
It's been an interesting day. I vowed I was going to stay away from the computer. I vowed I was going to get caught up on reading and/or dvd watching and/or television watching. None of that came true. I sat on the computer 99% of today. Now I'm mad at myself.
I had a mini-breakdown this afternoon, during my 1% off of the computra. I got a bigger than usual paycheck this week and with the money, besides paying some bills, I wanted to buy some new shirts. I'm still wearing my 3XT shirts to work. I'm down to an XT (though Ken claims I can fit into an LT now.) So I bought a couple new shirts last night. This afternoon Ken wanted to see me in one, so I tried it on. And the bitch doesn't fit right. The sleeves are way too short. This is a tall size, so the sleeves should be long. The shirts themselves are too short, too. They both fit me like a plain old XL. So I got depressed. I've always had clothing issues. My whole life. Growing up we were dirt poor, so my wardrobe was basically whatever was on sale at K-Mart or Caldor. Anything everyone else was wearing was something I might be lucky enough to have in two years when no one was wearing it. It taught me not to care about fashion trends. The Christmas before I moved out of my parents' house, all I asked for was clothes. My folks didn't have much money, but they always went overboard at Christmas to make up for the rest of the year. So the Christmas before I moved out, I wanted (needed) clothes. And I got clothes. Lots of them. Every single pair of pants were two sizes too small. Every shirt, same story. It got really uncomfortable opening presents after the second or third package. I think that's the Christmas I swore of Christmas. I'm still carrying around the hard feelings to this day. And that sucks.
When I got out on my own, I started getting bigger. That narrowed down my choices. Everything I liked or wanted didn't come in my size. I grew to accept that, too. But now that I'm at a what I consider to be normal size, why can't I still buy clothes? I know, it's just two shirts, but it still bothers me that it's impossible for me to shop. I shouldn't have to be subjected to ugly or ill-fitting clothing. So tomorrow it's back to the mall to return my purchases. I think I mentioned that Ken ordered me some new clothes. Now I'm petrified that I'm going to try them on and none will fit.
3.09.2008
Too Early
It's about 8:30 on Sunday morning. The worst Sunday morning of the year. I really hate setting the clocks ahead an hour. It takes me the better part of a week to adjust to the change. I'm really trying to battle it head on this year. I've been up since 6:30 (though my body was screaming it was 5:30, dammit!), fed the cats and headed out for my Sunday morning mall walk. I can't wait for the weather to get better. It's much nicer when I can walk around town rather than do laps with the blue hairs at the mall. Plus, I won't have to get up so early. I like to do the mall walk well before the mall opens.
Right now my body is telling me I need to climb back into bed. I'm ignoring it's advice, though. If I can make it through today without napping, I should be able to go to bed fairly early and readjust my internal clock.
Today is the official weigh in for the week. I'm sure it's going to be above the 199.5 I clocked on Friday. I'm hoping it's not above the 202 from last week. I haven't weighed in yet, but I'll post it when I get the results.
Right now my body is telling me I need to climb back into bed. I'm ignoring it's advice, though. If I can make it through today without napping, I should be able to go to bed fairly early and readjust my internal clock.
Today is the official weigh in for the week. I'm sure it's going to be above the 199.5 I clocked on Friday. I'm hoping it's not above the 202 from last week. I haven't weighed in yet, but I'll post it when I get the results.
3.07.2008
Bingo!
Stepped on the scale this morning and got the news I've been waiting my entire adult life for.
That's right! I finally broke that 200 lb barrier for the first time in my life. If I had to guess, the last time I was under 200 lbs was high school or maybe even junior high. I can't believe I made it. Of course I went out and celebrated at dinner tonight. That number will climb back up a little between now and Sunday, but I'm okay with that. If I get upset, I just need to refer back to this posting and look at that beautiful number (and the scale that could use a once over with some Windex).
That's right! I finally broke that 200 lb barrier for the first time in my life. If I had to guess, the last time I was under 200 lbs was high school or maybe even junior high. I can't believe I made it. Of course I went out and celebrated at dinner tonight. That number will climb back up a little between now and Sunday, but I'm okay with that. If I get upset, I just need to refer back to this posting and look at that beautiful number (and the scale that could use a once over with some Windex).
3.05.2008
Wednesday Ups and Downs
The busride home was weird tonight, though not as weird as the other day. The guy in the seat in front of me was asleep. Completely asleep. At one point, the bus drive got up and woke him up, and the guy didn't awaken easily. Fucked up. Another passenger was trying to give bibles away. His first batch he got rid of easily, but a little later during the ride, with new people on board, no one would take one. Who the fuck gets on the bus with a bag full of bibles and gives them away. I was sitting too far away from him to be offered one. If he tried to give me one, I was going to tell him I don't read fiction.
My foot is feeling so much better after this week's shot. I really hope I'm not jinxing it by saying so. I've been in pain for the last two weeks. I mention it to the doctor this week and he said to wait and see. It's not 100% yet, but it's 1000 times better than it was on Monday morning. This is a good sign. I have two more shots to go and I'm hoping they go as well as this week.
Got home from work to find two things waiting for me. The bad -- got a letter from NY State saying I didn't fill my taxes out correctly and my refund is half of what I was expecting. I'm pissed off. The other thing was a box from Candy, a fan of the podcast. She sent this amazing box of candy. I'm thrilled and humbled. Ken dove right into the box and starting chowing. MY CANDY! What a bastard. And all I'm going to hear is how fat he is. Well, if he left MY CANDY alone, maybe he wouldn't be so fat, right? LOL. I need to mail off a thank you card to Candy asap. I sent one out to Diane, who sent my first box of goodness a week or so back. Who knew the shit sammy of a podcast we do actually has fans?
I need to not play on the computer tonight. Last night's attempt at doing the podcast resulted in us being online way longer than anticipated. Tech problems will do that to you. I need to do something fun instead. Laundry. Ugh.
My foot is feeling so much better after this week's shot. I really hope I'm not jinxing it by saying so. I've been in pain for the last two weeks. I mention it to the doctor this week and he said to wait and see. It's not 100% yet, but it's 1000 times better than it was on Monday morning. This is a good sign. I have two more shots to go and I'm hoping they go as well as this week.
Got home from work to find two things waiting for me. The bad -- got a letter from NY State saying I didn't fill my taxes out correctly and my refund is half of what I was expecting. I'm pissed off. The other thing was a box from Candy, a fan of the podcast. She sent this amazing box of candy. I'm thrilled and humbled. Ken dove right into the box and starting chowing. MY CANDY! What a bastard. And all I'm going to hear is how fat he is. Well, if he left MY CANDY alone, maybe he wouldn't be so fat, right? LOL. I need to mail off a thank you card to Candy asap. I sent one out to Diane, who sent my first box of goodness a week or so back. Who knew the shit sammy of a podcast we do actually has fans?
I need to not play on the computer tonight. Last night's attempt at doing the podcast resulted in us being online way longer than anticipated. Tech problems will do that to you. I need to do something fun instead. Laundry. Ugh.
3.03.2008
The Bus
I took the bus in to work this morning. My podiatrist appointment got switched to 9am, so I wasn't able to carpool in with Ken. The ride was definitely... different.
As the bus pulled up, I noticed the bus driver talking to someone on the bus. I get on only to discover I was the only one on the bus. I didn't think too much of it until two stops later, he yells out something that I still am unsure of exactly what. Thankfully someone else gets on the bus at this stop.
The next stop is in front of the supermarket up the road from me. There's a decent size crowd waiting to get on. While they're boarding, I notice a guy sitting on the bench at the stop, reading his magazine. He's making no attempt to board. That's when I notice that on the front cover of his magazine is a bare ass naked woman. Totally nude. And I'm noticing that I can make out a lot of nakedness in his magazine. Dude bought porn and couldn't wait to get home to start reading it. He made no attempt to hide what he was reading either. What a perv.
A few stops later, a guy on a Rascal is waiting for the bus. The driver puts down the ramp for him to get on and then goes to raise the front seats so the guy can park his Rascal. While he's doing this, Rascal man backs his chair up the ramp, down the aisle and runs the bus driver over. The bus driver yells out "Hey, hey!" and the guy turns around and gives the bus driver attitude.
It was one of the more surreal bus rides I've taken in a while. I was just glad to get to work and off the bus before something else happened.
As the bus pulled up, I noticed the bus driver talking to someone on the bus. I get on only to discover I was the only one on the bus. I didn't think too much of it until two stops later, he yells out something that I still am unsure of exactly what. Thankfully someone else gets on the bus at this stop.
The next stop is in front of the supermarket up the road from me. There's a decent size crowd waiting to get on. While they're boarding, I notice a guy sitting on the bench at the stop, reading his magazine. He's making no attempt to board. That's when I notice that on the front cover of his magazine is a bare ass naked woman. Totally nude. And I'm noticing that I can make out a lot of nakedness in his magazine. Dude bought porn and couldn't wait to get home to start reading it. He made no attempt to hide what he was reading either. What a perv.
A few stops later, a guy on a Rascal is waiting for the bus. The driver puts down the ramp for him to get on and then goes to raise the front seats so the guy can park his Rascal. While he's doing this, Rascal man backs his chair up the ramp, down the aisle and runs the bus driver over. The bus driver yells out "Hey, hey!" and the guy turns around and gives the bus driver attitude.
It was one of the more surreal bus rides I've taken in a while. I was just glad to get to work and off the bus before something else happened.
Rick Astley
What's up with Rick Astley? I keep seeing postings about him all over the internet all of a sudden? I thought the whole Rick Rolling thing died out already. Maybe not. I've seen the following pie chart posted on a number of blogs recently, so, like the scumbag I am, I stole it for here. I'm also including the Pop-Up Video version of his video.
3.02.2008
Stolen From Nicole
Nicole stole this from someone, and I'm stealing it from her. So there.
Here is what you do. Use the 1st letter of your middle name to
answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names,
things…nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you
took this from had the same 1st initial.
You CAN’T use your name for the boy/girl name question.
1. Middle name letter: H
2. Famous artist/band/musician: Hanson
3. 4-letter word: Hold
4. U.S state: Ha... None.
5. Boy name: Herb
6. Girl name: Helena
7. Animal: Hart
8. Something in the kitchen: Hollandaise Sauce
9. Reason for being late? Hate my job
10. Body Part? Head
11. Drink? Harvey Wallbanger
12. Something you shout: Hey!
13. Something you eat? Ham
Positive Outlook
Remember, I'm having a positive outlook today.
My weigh in today wasn't the number I wanted it to be, but it was good anyway. I'm 202 this week. I broke out of my 203 rut. I was looking at the chart I track my weight on weekly and sort of had a wake up call. We're 9 weeks into 2008 and I've dropped 9 pounds. That's great. Sometimes it's hard for me to see the big picture. I get stuck on the little things and that's not good. All I've seen is me being "stuck" at the same weight for the last month. I didn't take into consideration that I had two really great weeks since January began. You have to balance those out somewhere. But I'm making progress again. I'm back down to my lowest measured weight (January 20th weigh in) and I feel damn good.
Ollie is telling me he's starving to death. The poor little thing. The cats get their dinner in about twenty minutes, but he's freaking out, acting like he just can't make it. He's on the floor, giving me the "tap tap" signal he makes when he wants food. He won't stop. It would break my heart if I had one. LOL.
My weigh in today wasn't the number I wanted it to be, but it was good anyway. I'm 202 this week. I broke out of my 203 rut. I was looking at the chart I track my weight on weekly and sort of had a wake up call. We're 9 weeks into 2008 and I've dropped 9 pounds. That's great. Sometimes it's hard for me to see the big picture. I get stuck on the little things and that's not good. All I've seen is me being "stuck" at the same weight for the last month. I didn't take into consideration that I had two really great weeks since January began. You have to balance those out somewhere. But I'm making progress again. I'm back down to my lowest measured weight (January 20th weigh in) and I feel damn good.
Ollie is telling me he's starving to death. The poor little thing. The cats get their dinner in about twenty minutes, but he's freaking out, acting like he just can't make it. He's on the floor, giving me the "tap tap" signal he makes when he wants food. He won't stop. It would break my heart if I had one. LOL.
3.01.2008
Another "Bitching" Post
I wasn't happy with the week that just passed by. Seems like any idea I had to do something was sabotaged. Any plan I made, screwed up. Anyone who knows me knows I like structure. I thrive on a routine. I didn't get much of that. For instance, we usually go out to a specific place to eat on Friday nights. Just before it was time to go, those plans changed. Different restaurant and with another couple. I know this doesn't sound like it's anything big, but it was just a tiny piece of the week of wonkiness. I hate having to go socialize with people I don't know that well. I was starving and dinner was delayed by a couple hours to accommodate the change.
On Thurdays I like to get as much overtime in as I can. It's the first day of my work week. The energy vampires and the freak shows I work with wiped me out so much that I high tailed it out of there the second my work day was over.
On Wednesday, I planned on trying to join Archerr's group show. That was all fine and dandy until Ken called me, put a friend on the phone to tell me the front bumper panel fell off my car. This really kind of set me off. First of all, I'm on the bus, in front of a large crowd of people, unable to react properly. Second of all, he put someone else on the phone to make it all lighthearted. He knows better. Third of all, he has me call the dealership to arrange a drop off. I figure I have plenty of time to keep my recording plans, but then he doesn't show up at home for an hour and a half. Wednesday is now completely shot out of the water.
Friday night I get home and there's a message from my podiatrist's office, rescheduling my appointment. Second time in three weeks. If that's not bad enough, my foot is still hurting. Only I don't think it's the neuroma that's acting up. I think I may have broken or sprained something. It shouldn't hurt like this. I mentioned it to him last week and he kind of blew it off. I'll have to say something again this week.
Today I had plans to get together with Nessa and Holly to record our show. Only my mother-in-law invited herself over for lunch. Which meant I had to postpone my recording plans until this evening. That was annoying because we were having some major technological issues tonight.
I know I sound like a whiny little bitch, but I don't care. All these little things added up to be one big annoying thing and if I don't vent, I'm likely to explode.
Tomorrow begins a new week. I'm going to try and have a positive lookout for the week. I'm going to get up early and go walking. Then I'm going grocery shopping. The rest of the day I'm going to blow on myself. I'm doing nothing. I spent the whole morning cleaning and doing laundry today. I'm sick of it.
The end.
On Thurdays I like to get as much overtime in as I can. It's the first day of my work week. The energy vampires and the freak shows I work with wiped me out so much that I high tailed it out of there the second my work day was over.
On Wednesday, I planned on trying to join Archerr's group show. That was all fine and dandy until Ken called me, put a friend on the phone to tell me the front bumper panel fell off my car. This really kind of set me off. First of all, I'm on the bus, in front of a large crowd of people, unable to react properly. Second of all, he put someone else on the phone to make it all lighthearted. He knows better. Third of all, he has me call the dealership to arrange a drop off. I figure I have plenty of time to keep my recording plans, but then he doesn't show up at home for an hour and a half. Wednesday is now completely shot out of the water.
Friday night I get home and there's a message from my podiatrist's office, rescheduling my appointment. Second time in three weeks. If that's not bad enough, my foot is still hurting. Only I don't think it's the neuroma that's acting up. I think I may have broken or sprained something. It shouldn't hurt like this. I mentioned it to him last week and he kind of blew it off. I'll have to say something again this week.
Today I had plans to get together with Nessa and Holly to record our show. Only my mother-in-law invited herself over for lunch. Which meant I had to postpone my recording plans until this evening. That was annoying because we were having some major technological issues tonight.
I know I sound like a whiny little bitch, but I don't care. All these little things added up to be one big annoying thing and if I don't vent, I'm likely to explode.
Tomorrow begins a new week. I'm going to try and have a positive lookout for the week. I'm going to get up early and go walking. Then I'm going grocery shopping. The rest of the day I'm going to blow on myself. I'm doing nothing. I spent the whole morning cleaning and doing laundry today. I'm sick of it.
The end.
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