I Am Walter

DC Comics' Batman Beyond Writer's Commentary #0

2012-01-31T19:32:00.000-05:00

I really like the idea of having a writer's commentary video podcast talking about current comics. I hope this does well enough that other writers will hop on the bandwagon and start doing these.

Another Toy Post

2012-01-29T19:25:00.000-05:00

I've been spending a lot of spare time in my office organizing, straighten and all that jazz lately. I don't know if it's because it's winter now and it's okay to do indoor chores or if I'm sick of the office not being 100% the way I like it, but I've been doing it and enjoying the hell out of it.

I've talked before about the problem I have with collecting action figures. I'm obsessed with them and I have entirely too many. And I keep buying them. They make me happy and ultimately, that's all that counts. I figured out a way to display more of them with little effort. I wanted to build a riser to put on top of my bookshelves, but Ken actually found a nice piece of wood that will act as a riser without having build anything. With that in place, I set out to start unboxing a lot of toys. Specifically, the ton of DC Universe Classics toys I have. This is a line of toys I really, really like, but kind of jumped into collecting them a little late. I can be a snob about things and action figures is definitely something I was snobby about. I'm a huge fan of the DC Direct line of toys. Most of them look so nice and there's a lot of care put into them. When the DC Universe Classics line of toys came out, I didn't think they looked as nice as the DC Direct ones, so I avoided them. It wasn't until much later that I finally came around and fell in love with the line. I've been trying to play catch up with them ever since. There are 20 waves of figures out (22 if you count the two waves of Green Lantern Classics). Each wave consists generally of 6 figures (or so) and each figure comes with one piece of a bonus figure. You collect the all the figures in that wave and you can build an extra figure. Because I've opened only a few of these figures, I've never had a chance to build my bonus characters. Until now. And I have to tell you, I had a blast. They scale of the bonus figures is larger than the standard figures in the line. And they've chosen characters who are generally bigger in size as part of this line. Here's what I've managed to assemble so far..

Stel. This is from the Green Lantern Classics set.

Arkillo from the Green Lantern Classics set. I'm still missing the Kyle Rayner figure from that set. So Arkillo has two left legs for the time being, until I can track down a Kyle.

The Anti-Monitor

The Ultra-Humanite

Trigon

Validus

S.T.R.I.P.E.

Bane

My favorite one, so far. This is Apache Chief from the Super Friends cartoon. He's awesome!

I have a bunch of figures from some of the other waves, but no enough to complete any more characters. My partials include:

Kilowog. Poor guy is just a leg and nothing more.

Darkseid. He's got an arm and two legs. Better than Kilowog.

Giganta. This one I'm particularly anxious to build. She's awesome.

Atom Smasher. At least the three parts I have for him all connect.

Despero. Just one arm.

Kalibak

The other Collect And Connect figures are Metamorpho, Gorilla Grodd, Solomon Grundy, Metallo, Chemo and Imperiex. I'm always on the lookout for more of these figures and now I've got extra room for them.

My Childhood

2012-01-27T21:31:00.002-05:00

Dynasty Bitches Back Together!!

2012-01-24T21:01:00.001-05:00

My love for the tv show Dynasty is no secret. No secret whatsoever. It was my favorite show back in the 80s and it still ranks way the hell up there. I'm currently watching Season 5 on dvd and loving every minute of it. I'm to the point right now where a very pregnant Krystle fell down the stairs after having a fight with Blake. Newborn baby Krystina survived, but she's facing an uphill battle, including needing a total blood transfusion. Amanda, Alexis' secret daughter, just arrived in town and is trying to find her real father. Claudia is jealous of the relationship she thinks Steven and Bart are having. The show is so damn good.

Anyway, I'm also a huge fan of the current Snickers ad campaign. I love the Betty White commercial and the Aretha/Liza commercial. In Britain, they just release a new ad featuring Joan Collins and Stephanie Beacham. As much as I love Alexis, I love Sable infinitely more. She always had the best lines and her delivery was spot on. I've watched this commercial more times than I can count. Love love love it!

Batman!

2012-01-23T18:31:00.002-05:00

I stole these from a blog I read because I liked them.

Waiting

2012-01-23T18:25:00.002-05:00

I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop, or whatever that saying is. I can say for the first time in a really long time that I've had a really great couple of days. Nothing monumental has been happening, but the last couple of days have been very good and very positive. I'm sure getting the best night of sleep I've had in months didn't hurt on little bit. Saturday morning I didn't wake up until just before 11am. It really pays to lock the cats out of the bedroom every once in a while.

Saturday Ken and I got together with our friends Lynn & Lori. We went out to eat and then to see Aimee Mann. It's either the fifth or sixth time I've seen her and by far the best of those 5 or 6 shows. She was uber-chatty and I love when there's audience interaction. The first or second time I saw her, she spoke once in between songs and that was it. It was kind of disappointing.

Sunday I spent the day cleaning, straightening and organizing my office. I know I just did that last week, but I spent more time and I felt so accomplished when I was done.

And today I didn't rage at the people I work with at all. That was proof to me that my mood was improving. I'm hoping I've finally turned the corner on the sorrow I've been immersed in over the last four or five months. Things with my Dad seem to be going well and a lot of the worries I've been having are slowly lifting away.

Positivitey!

"The First Question"

2012-01-19T20:55:00.000-05:00

Random Thoughts

2012-01-18T19:26:00.003-05:00

I'm nearly over this cold. It hasn't been a bad cold. It's been a little cold, but it won't go away. I think one good night of sleep will send it on it's way finally. If I can get a good night of sleep. As tired as I've been lately, I haven't been able to sleep. It's frustrating and wearing me down. Hopefully tonight.

Lack of sleep definitely does not help my attitude. Yesterday was particularly bad. I just couldn't deal and every single person I came in contact with annoyed the living piss out of me. Today started the same way, but my mood turned north rather quickly and I'm grateful for that.

DC Comics released some promotional artwork for it's Hawkman comic. The art was drawn by super-star hack Rob Liefeld and it's agonizingly terrible. I'm about the only person in the country who is reading Hawkman and this is enough to make me drop it. Check this shit out.

I'm trying to cut the amounts of sugar and meat I currently ingest. The sugar is a no brainer. It's terrible for me and does me no favors. The meat, on the other hand, comes from a different place. I love meat. It's delicious. But whenever I think about where meat comes from, it really grosses me out. The older I get, the more grossed out I get. My goal isn't to become a vegetarian, but it's to drastically reduce the amount of animals I eat. I know over the last few years I've cut back on the amount of meat I eat, but I don't think it's enough. I'm taking baby steps, but that's the easiest way for me to do something like this. I have a lot of respect for vegetarians and vegans, but I know I could never really be one full time.

Over the weekend, I felt very productive. My basement has slowly over the course of the last year, become a giant mess. Rather than put things away where they belong, I've gotten into the habit of putting them wherever I happened to drop them. It only took a couple of hours (if that), but I got the basement back in some sort of order. I didn't do any purging or anything like that, but at least everything is organized. The purging will come soon. I guess what finally did it for me is Ken was frantically looking for his crock pot. He hasn't seen it since we moved into this house and he thought maybe it was still packed. When I went looking for it is when I realized a bomb went off in the basement. I can't get over how much bigger it looks now that it's organized. That also spurred me to work on the finished half of the basement, which is my office. I moved a few things around and it looks great. I'm not done yet, and I'm anxious to fiddle around a little more.

I haven't been to a concert in about a year. Last one was Jill Sobule. This Saturday, though, I'm leaving my house and heading out to see Aimee Mann. I've seen her probably six times in the past, but it's been a few years since the last time. I'm really excited.

Crash

2012-01-16T16:11:00.002-05:00

I use an iPhone app called WeightMan to track my weight. Every morning I weigh in and record the result. I've been doing this for a few years now and I've got quite a bit of data there. Or, I HAD quite a bit of data there. My app crashed last week and wiped it clean. I was immediately crushed. I've got flashes of OCD in some parts of my life and this is one of them. So I'm starting fresh with the app. Kind of. For the last few years, as inspiration to lose weight (for Ken) or keep weight off (for me), Ken and I record our weight on a tracking sheet once a week. I have a couple years worth of those sheets and I'm not in the process of recording my Sunday weigh in results. Again, OCD.

Comics

2012-01-12T20:34:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to get around to a post about 2011 and comic books, but it's something that I just haven't found the time for. Today I'm taking a little time, mostly because there was the first big announcement (for me, at least) of 2012 and it ties into 2011. DC Comics announced their first batch of new titles since revamping their entire line back in September. There are six new titles coming out later this year and here are the details.

DC COMICS-THE NEW 52 “Second Wave” includes:

BATMAN INCORPORATED – Writer: Grant Morrison. Artist: Chris Burnham. The acclaimed ongoing writer of ACTION COMICS, Grant Morrison, presents a fresh take on BATMAN INCORPORATED, in which the Batman brand is franchised globally in preparation for a major international threat.

EARTH 2 – Writer: James Robinson. Artist: Nicola Scott. The greatest heroes on a parallel Earth, the Justice Society combats threats that will set them on a collision course with other worlds.

WORLDS’ FINEST – Writer: Paul Levitz. Artists: George Perez and Kevin Maguire. Stranded on our world from a parallel reality, Huntress and Power Girl struggle to find their way back to Earth 2. Perez and Maguire will be the artists on alternating story arcs.

DIAL H – Writer: China Miéville. Artist: Mateus Santoluoco. The first ongoing series from acclaimed novelist China Miéville, this is a bold new take on a cult classic concept about the psychological effects on an everyman who accidentally gains powers to become a hero.

G.I. COMBAT – Writer: J.T. Krul. Artist: Ariel Olivetti. Featuring the return of a classic DC Comics series, THE WAR THAT TIME FORGOT, along with rotating back-up stories and creative teams – including THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER, with writers Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti and artist Dan Panosian; and THE HAUNTED TANK, with writer John Arcudi and artist Scott Kolins.

THE RAVAGERS – Writer: Howard Mackie. Artist: Ian Churchill. Spinning off from TEEN TITANS and SUPERBOY, this series finds four superpowered teens on the run and fighting against the organization that wants to turn them into supervillains.

I mostly like the looks of these new titles. Mostly. Just from the news that broke today, I will most likely buy Earth 2, World's Finest and Dial H as monthly titles. G.I. Combat and Batman, Inc are two that I will probably wait for the trades. The Ravagers is a title that I'm really not looking forward to at all. I'm going to get the first issue and decide after that. But it's tied into two books I can't really stand, so I'm probably going to avoid it. These six books are replacing six other titles that are being cancelled. Six titles I don't read.

When DC Comics announced it was cancelling it's entire line and relaunching it, I can't say that I was all that excited. In fact, I was pretty upset. It felt like a big ol' FUCK YOU to me as a longtime fan. The way they tried to sell the pitch didn't sound all that appealing to me as a long time fan. But I tried having an open mind about it. I picked up all 52 first issues. Overall, I wasn't very impressed. Some books I downright hated. Some I enjoyed, but more than half I was pretty indifferent about. Since I order my books three months in advance, I had to decide the series I wanted to follow before seeing the first issues. I don't think I did too bad picking out the books to read monthy. Most of what I picked had the smallest changes in content. Some Batman books, the Legion books, the Green Lantern books.... Of the books I'm following monthly, I'm about to drop StormWatch (great concept, poor execution) and Red Lanterns (a book I was psyched for, but nothing is happening). I should drop Justice League, but I need to get into the second arc first.

I think DC did one thing right before relaunching their entire line. They ran this huge event called Flashpoint. It was a main mini-series with 8,000 tie ins. The tie ins, for the most part, were some of the worst shit I've read in my life. Just god awful. So anything they put out after that concluded was bound to look new, fun, fresh and entertaining, right?

My current pull list is probably the smallest it's ever been in my thirty plus years of reading comics. Right now I'm getting:

Aquaman

Batgirl

Batman

Batwoman

Detective Comics

Frankenstein, Agent of SHADE

Green Lantern

Green Lantern Corps

Green Lantern: New Guardians

Justice League

Justice League Dark

Legion Lost

Legion Of Super-Heroes

Red Lanterns

Savage Hawkman

Shade

StormWatch

The books highlighted in red are the books that are either being dropped with my next order or are dangerously close to going away. I'm reading some other stuff in trade only and will start some of the other New 52 soon (like Wonder Woman, Batwing, I, Vampire, Demon Knights and Justice League International.)

12 Of 12

2012-01-12T20:11:00.000-05:00

So I stumbled on this blog once through another blog. Every month on the 12th, the blogger would post 12 pictures taken that day and would encourage others to do the same. I did it once, but could never remember to do it again. Until today. And then I searched out his blog again only to find that last month was the last month he was doing it. But screw that. I did it today and I'm posting for 12 pictures, no matter how sucky they are.

(1) I like to sit at the back of the shuttle bus on the ride in to work in the morning. It keeps me away from the people I ride with, and that makes me happy. Today we had the STORM OF THE CENTURY (a dusting of snow to maybe an inch) and by the time we got to my stop, there were only two other people on the bus.

(2) This is me, sitting on the bus, no prepared to face the day. Like always.

(3) My work computer wallpaper. It's Reid Fleming, World's Toughest Milkman.

(4) I'm working on an OCD project where I am going through each and every one of my geek friendly t-shirts, one a day without repeating, and taking a picture to post on Instagram. Today was day 3 of this project and today's choice was Batwoman.

(5) A coworker loaned me this book. She might have been trying to plant ideas in my head about the best way for other coworkers to go?

(6) The wall behind my computer at work. Crisis on one wall, Starman on the other.

(7) The (alleged) junkie whore I work with left work at the same time I did today. I tried to snap a picture without her seeing. She's getting on her shuttle bus. At least I hope it's the right one.

(8) Traffic sucked ass getting home tonight. I think I spent more time sitting idle than I did driving.

(9) The temporary kitchen ceiling light I mentioned a few posts ago.

(10) Is that a TARDIS at the bottom of the stairs?

(11) A partial view of my shoe closet.

(12) Mrs. Lucy certain loves sleeping on my legs. She's such a sweetie.

See. My life is pretty mundane, so my pictures are, too. Plus, I wasn't feeling too good today, so I wasn't really inspired to take many pictures. But I remembered and that's all that counts.

Shit Liza Minnelli Says

2012-01-11T17:29:00.000-05:00

Barack Obama Singing Born This Way by Lady Gaga

2012-01-10T19:44:00.000-05:00

Sidelined

2012-01-10T19:42:00.000-05:00

My knees have been killing me for a few days. Since Friday, actually. I hit the gym for an after/pre-going out work workout and overdid it. What? Me? So I've been taking it easy since. It's killing me because I'm used to activity and this sitting around bullshit is driving me insane. They still hurt, but they're starting to feel a little better. I'm hoping by this weekend I'll be ready to use and abuse them again. Until then, I'm going to sit around feeling flabby.

A Tribute to Honey Boo Boo Child

2012-01-10T06:02:00.000-05:00

The Music of 2011

2012-01-08T18:40:00.000-05:00

It's no secret that music is a huge passion of mine. I have my iPod on 10 to 12 hours a day and I lose myself in it. This year I found music more comforting than ever before. I really lost myself in it the whole time Mom was sick and after she died. Overall, I think 2011 was an amazing year for record releases. One of the best in a really long time. I'm going to list out some of what I consider stand out releases for the year. You may agree or disagree with me, and that's fine. All that cares is the following records brought me great joy this year. What albums made you particularly happy in 2011?

In no particular order....

Wonder Woman

2012-01-07T20:11:00.002-05:00

I love happy surprises. Tonight I was browsing through Amazon.com and came an upcoming book I was completely unaware of. The book is Wonder Woman: The Twelve Labors. It's a trade paperback collection of a two-year long run of the Wonder Woman comic from the 70's. In the late 60's, Wonder Woman's book took on a bold new direction. She renounced her powers and gave up her super-hero life. She became a boutique owner and crime fighter more along the lines of Emma Peel from the Avengers. By the early 70's, Wonder Woman was restored to her normal star-spangled self. With her powers costume and powers back, she was offered her membership in the Justice League of America again, but before accepting it, she wanted to prove she was still worthy of being a member. The Twelve Labors is that story. Each issue of the series had a different JLAer shadowing Wonder Woman through her various adventures.

I have all the individual issues of this run, but I'm very excited by the prospect of owning it in a single volume.

Spank

2012-01-04T19:59:00.000-05:00

This is turning out to be a hard week. It really shouldn't be, but it is. And because it's what I do when I'm under stress, I turn to food. And not just any food, usually. Shit food. I've been overindulging with cookies and chocolate. The logical side of my brain is screaming at me to stop, but the emotional side is ignoring it and I'm eating and then feeling like crap about it. In turn, I'm going to the gym every single night without fail. I felt like a zombie when I got home tonight. I've worn myself out. I need to stop this insanity. I will do tomorrow morning what I've done every morning this week. I'm going to try to start out with a clean slate and behave myself. I will try not to let life's burdens get to me and I will be a stronger person. Or Batman will slap my ass, and not in a good way.

New Scissor Sisters

2012-01-03T20:33:00.000-05:00

Disaster

2012-01-03T20:26:00.000-05:00

I'm not handy. I don't like to do home improvement projects because (a) I'm no good at them and (b) I spent my entire childhood as my Dad's assistant seemingly every weekend as he ripped apart the house and put it back together. I hated every minute of it then and little has changed since then.

Yesterday Ken decided he was going to change out the kitchen light. He bought new lights for the house a year ago and they've sat in the kitchen collecting dust ever since. I made my feeling clear that I wanted no part of the project and he decided that it was okay. He was going to handle it himself. About fifteen minutes into his project, he called me because he needed help. And that help, most of which was me standing around holding things or handing him things or fetching him things, lasted nearly two hours.

Ken is deathly afraid of fire, and so by association, he's very, very wary of doing anything electrical. With this in mind, the nearly two hour project of taking down the old light and putting up the new light ended in complete and utter disaster with him kind of freaking out and the light getting destroyed in the process. It's now sitting in the trash bin with a temporary light fixture up in it's place.

To me, it's worth the money the professionals gouge you for to have it done right the first time. I know I can't do it and Ken second guesses himself the entire process. Other things he's a whiz at and should stick to them. When it's something that terrifies him, I say spend the money. I'm happy not to eat out a few times if it means Ken's peace of mind.

He bought the lights last year when they were on clearance and was panicked that he wasn't going to be able to find a suitable replacement that goes with the other lights yet to be hung (and the foyer light fixture that is already in place), but today he reported that he found one that will work. That's a huge relief for him. Me, I don't particularly care. I didn't have a problem with the lights that are up now. That irritates Ken, but that's just me and what makes me so adorable.

It's Fake Jan Day, Y'all!!!! Happy Jan 2!!

2012-01-02T16:24:00.000-05:00

Sweat

2012-01-01T18:43:00.000-05:00

Today is probably going to be the last quiet day at the gym for the next two or three months. With that in mind, I made the most of it and headed there early to get it out of the way. I was right. The place was a ghost town. I picked out my favorite elliptical and got right to work. After all, I had the damage of a New Year's Eve wedding to work off before my first official weigh in of 2011. I tried to behave myself last night, and for the most part I did. Well, until dessert time. Not only was there a huge selection of cupcakes (in lieu of wedding cake), but the groom's grandmother supplied an entire buffet of pastries and cookies. Needless to say, I screwed myself over pretty late last night. So this morning it was important to work a little of it off. I generally do an hour and then a ten minute cool down. Two minutes into my cool down this morning, I feel a loud snap and then a lot of rattling. My damn machine broke! I guess I don't know my own strength. I alerted the woman on duty and then hopped on to another machine to finish up my workout. I went a few minutes above my plan, but that's okay. So listen up, 2012. Don't give me any shit or what happened to the elliptical is going to happen to you, too!

I love tracking things and keeping stats. This year, my love of that is what helped propel me through every single workout I accomplished. I tracked every workout I did in the iMapMyRide app on my phone, like a freak. The initial goal I set for myself to accomplish was to travel 1,200 miles in 2011. I thought it was a lofty goal when I set it, but I soon realized it was too low. I hit my goal in early June. I then challenged myself to do 2,400 miles for the year, which I also accomplished. I was hoping to hit 3,600 miles by the end of the year, but I fell just short. August and September were hard months for me to get a chance to workout. I traveled to Texas in August and spent as much time with Mom as I could in September. I worked out more days inJune than I did in August and September combined.

I just added up my mileage and calories for the year and I'm quite impressed with myself. And I have every right to be. I wore myself out.

Of the 365 days in the year, I managed to sweat my ass off 257 of those days.

I logged in 1,702.33 miles on the elliptical

I logged in 1,533.31 miles on the bike

I logged in 53.18 miles on the treadmill

I logged in 23.78 miles walking outside.

That's a total of 3,312.60 miles for the year. As for approximate number of calories burned, that would be 252,909.

Now that 2011 is behind us, I can put this challenge behind me, too. I focused almost exclusively on mileage. I need to expand my workouts to include building muscle. I have little to no upper body strength and I'm sick of it. I'm a little intimidated by using the weight machines, mostly because I've never really used them before. After a few rounds with them, I should feel a little better (and a lot sorer.)

The Closing Of The Year

2011-12-30T21:41:00.000-05:00

All I can say is I'm so happy this year is over with. It's been such a roller coaster ride. There were ups, but the downs far overshadowed anything good that happened.

This is one of those times that I envy people who make writing look easy. I don't possess the ability to express myself the way I'd like to. This blog was started, for the most part, to teach myself how to express myself in the written word, and years later, I still struggle. That's why this post is really nothing more than a list of memories from 2011. I wish I had the confidence in myself to write a sprawling year end recap, but I'm sure the end result would be embarrassing. Anyway...

As mentioned in almost every post over the last three months, losing my Mom in September was a huge blow to not only me, but my entire family. Mom was the glue that held the family together. Dad has always been the more removed parent, leaving Mom to be chief caretaker, head of the household and more nurturing parent. I've had such a hard time with losing her, not only for the fact that she's gone, but also where that leaves the rest of my family. I've spent so much time worrying about the fallout from her death in relation to my Dad and sister that I haven't really had a chance to mourn her loss. And it seems that just when things are starting to settle down, my sister comes to me with another issue. She's been put in a tough spot of taking over for Mom. My sister is 37 and still lives at home. For the first time in my life, I'm glad about this. I'm glad she and Dad have each other to rely on, because they need each other. But my sister looks to me to fix everything that's happening and since I'm not there, I can only offer up advice on what to do. And her resistance to some of my advice really angers me. I wonder sometimes why she asks me if she refuses to listen to me? So I find that instead of feeling grief over my Mom, I'm feeling a lot of anger towards my sister. Earlier I was feeling it towards my brother. I know I shouldn't have, but he, too, wasn't listening to anything I was saying. He's up in the tundra of Canada with no easy way down here and feeling isolated and all he wanted to do was help, but he was so off the mark in his attempts that it just resulted in me getting angry at him. I want the anger to go away. I know I'm kind of stuck where I am until that happens.

And I find the anger having huge effects on the rest of my life. My tolerance for people is at an all time low. I've withdrawn myself from a lot of my social circles. I try to tune out people I work with. If I can get away without having to talk to a single person in a day, I feel like I've succeeded. Where I find myself withdrawing into is music. I have leaned harder on my music collection than I ever have in my life. My secret hiding place has been inside my iPod. I feel safe there. I feel protected from outside influences. And I find that the songs I listen to are expressing my inner most feelings.

Ken has been absolutely amazing during the last few months. We have polar opposite opinions on how to care for each other. When I'm sick or I'm hurting, all I want to do is be left alone. And since that's how I feel, I assume that's how others do, too, so I try to give Ken space in the same situation. He, on the other hand, comes from the school of smothering. If I'm sick, he wants to be all up in my face. And me, I want to murder him. :-) He's admitted to me how difficult it's been for him to let me have my space, but he's given it to me. I'm so grateful for it, too. And he knows it.

I don't mean to make this all about Mom and the aftermath, but it's been such a huge part of the year for me. There has been some good. For example, I got to spend more than a few hours at the New York Comic Con this year. Last fall, I got to spend most of Friday, which was barely enough time to see the show. Especially when you consider I got to meet up with some friends, which cut into my geeking out time. This year I got two full days there (and it still wasn't enough), got to see more friends, got to buy all sorts of shit I don't need but really wanted. And it was a great weekend to just forget about my life, which I needed.

I also got to spend another week in Texas in August. This year was unplanned, but so was last year's trip. Ken and I realized we had frequent flyer points that were going to expire if not used, so I got to take a trip to see some of the best friends any one person deserves. This year's trip was quite different as my host was working full time and not at my beck and call 24/7, but I still had an amazing time.

My weight has been something that's been on my mind almost every day this year. But that's nothing new. This is the year that I thought I finally got things to exactly where I wanted them. For a good chunk of the year, I was consistently weighing in in the 180s. This is a huge accomplishment. Remember four years (or is it five?) ago when I was 300 lbs? After my Texas trip and then when Mom got sick a couple of weeks later, I lost my grip on the 180s and rebounded back to the 190s. And I've been there ever since. I know it's just a few pounds more than I was earlier this year (and exactly where I was prior to that), but after knowing I could be 180-something and now being unable to get back there has been really frustrating. Part of the problem is I've rediscovered some of my poor eating habits. My candy intake has risen and no matter how many hours I put in at the gym, I'm having trouble counteracting the chocolate. I wish I didn't tie up so much of my self-esteem in the number on the scale. I was 195 lbs this morning. My goal weight for myself is 190 with a +/- 5 lbs margin. I'm in that margin, yet I beat myself up because I'm at the high end of it. I'm a mess, but at least I'm a self-aware mess! LOL!

This year was the year I took physical fitness to a new level. The entire time I was losing weight, my exercise program was to go out and walk. I walked wherever I could. When winter hit, I'd take my walking indoors by going to the mall and do laps there. But when we moved to our current home, the mall was no longer five minutes away and I wasn't really wanting to drive a half hour to walk, so I made myself get over my gym phobia pretty quickly. I joined the gym in October of 2010 and started exercising there. And because I'm neurotic about tracking things, beginning in January, I started tracking all of my workouts. I set myself a goal of 1,200 miles to travel by treadmill, elliptical, walking and biking and quickly blew that out of the water. I'd post my totals here and now, but there's still one day left in the year and even though I'm undecided if I'm going to the gym tomorrow, my tunnel vision drive is going to make me go to push that year end total as high as possible. So I'll post stats later.

I've got so many amazing friends. This year really proved this to me. I mean, I'm fully aware that my friends are awesome, but they proved just how awesome they were. Equally as awesome, just in a different way, are the ones that threw me to the curb this year. I'm still scratching my head over a couple of them, but at the same time, there were two in particular that I'm overjoyed that they did this. It's something I should have done earlier myself, but I think I can be too forgiving. The only hypocritical, self-involved, unaware ego maniac I want to know is myself, thank you very much.

I'm very much looking forward to 2012. I'm trying to think only positive thoughts for the new year. I've got my first double date (which could be a triple date) lined up for next weekend with my favorite lesbians. I've got Aimee Mann tickets for later in January. I've got a vacation booked for Orlando in March. I've got my wedding date rescheduled for June. I plan on spending even more time at the New York Comic Con in October. I'm just looking forward to putting 2011 to bed and having fun with 2012.

And my New Year's Resolution...?

Yes Please

2011-12-29T20:30:00.003-05:00

I hate that he shaved his chest, but otherwise, I find him so fucking tasty. That is all.

Stop

2011-12-29T06:12:00.000-05:00

Note to self - Stop eating until you're uncomfortably full. I don't care that it was something that was somewhat healthy. Too much is too much. Thank you.

Be Careful What You Wish For

2011-12-25T19:28:00.000-05:00

For years I've wished that I could have Christmas my way. And my way would be a quiet day at home. This year I got my wish. The best way to describe today would be "a quiet day at home." Ken played World Of Warcraft while I continued to set up my computer and get things in order. It was very restful. However, I hated it. Christmas Day has always been about family. Mom would decorate up her house and cook enough for an army to eat. Last year we changed things up a bit and hosted Christmas at my house. And I loved it. And more importantly, Mom loved it. She didn't have to lift a finger to do anything.

My Dad and sister opted out of recognizing Christmas this year. I can't say I blame them. It's been almost three months now since Mom passed. It was just too soon for them to think about it. I, on the other hand, have been trying to immerse myself into Christmas. I think I wanted to convince myself that I was going to love Christmas this year. Beginning December 1, I've played nothing but Christmas music. I've got just over 4,000 Christmas songs in my library and my goal was to try to play them all before Christmas is over. I didn't hit my goal, but I did damn well. I have just over 1,300 songs left I didn't get to. Not too bad.

With today coming to an end, it's the second of the four big days I've been dreading. Thanksgiving and Christmas are now done, Mom's birthday and the anniversary of her passing are on the plate for 2012.

Tomorrow I'm starting fresh. I've got the holidays behind me now and I'm going out there and I'm going to look for something good to grab onto. I'm so tired of moping and frowning. However, I need to go grocery shopping and the thought of getting out into public with the unwashed day-after-Christmas masses is sooo not appealing.

Christmas at The Davenport's

2011-12-25T14:21:00.000-05:00

Cruel

2011-12-20T20:52:00.000-05:00

This has to be one of the cruelest weeks of the entire year. Hands down. Cruel in what way? Well, it's the week before Christmas and that means every single person in my office (and offices everywhere) is baking up a storm and bringing it all in to work. And people with little will power can't help but eat all this garbage. It's no secret I've struggled with my weight my entire life. For the first time ever in my life I'm at a healthy body weight and I'm so desperate to keep it that way, but my lack of will power is my own worst enemy. I tried to keep it together today, but failed when it came to cinnamon bread, cookies and chocolate. Tomorrow all the bosses are treating us to pizza and wings and I'm so afraid of going overboard. Especially since Ken's mother is coming over tomorrow night and we'll be going out to eat.

As much as I love this week in regards to food, I can't wait for it to be a distant memory.

2011-12-20T18:28:00.001-05:00

Via: CableTV.com

Moment

2011-12-19T20:44:00.000-05:00

Today was my first day back to work after being on vacation for the last week and a half or so. We were originally going to take a cruise last week, but the final payment for it was due right at the time my Mom went into the hospital. After a quick discussion, Ken and I decided we should cancel it, not knowing what the situation with Mom would be come December. Little did we know she passed away fairly quickly. A few weeks back, Ken started researching cruises again and made the executive decision that we were going and we needed to go. I'm glad he booked it. I needed to shut myself off from the world more than I ever thought I needed to. Ken was amazing in giving me the space and breathing room I needed on this vacation. We'd spend the early morning together, get breakfast and then part ways until either lunch or late afternoon. He found plenty to keep himself busy, either going to the casino or watching movies or just poking around the ship. I would grab a stack of comics, head up to the top deck and sun myself while reading and listening to Christmas music. There's something totally fucked up about laying out and listening to "White Christmas" and "Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow!" I'd do that for a while, then drop my stuff off in the room and head to the gym. Usually by the time I was done, I'd meet back up with Ken and we'd spend the rest of the day together.

I did something on this cruise that I find very, very hard for me to do. I lived in the moment. Typically on vacation, I'm always thinking about the end of it. For example, on Monday, I'm starting to panic because we only have five days left before we go home. But not this time. I shut my brain off to all the reality of my life and just enjoyed myself. It took me a solid day to be able to allow myself to relax, but by the time I did, I was in heaven. Laying in bed the last night was difficult because reality started seeping back in and I had a little breakdown.

Now I'm home, I started back to work today and I'm staring in the face of what I anticipate to be one of the hardest weeks in recent memory. Christmas without Mom is something I've been dreading. Christmas was very important to her and she always made a big deal out of it. My Dad and sister have decided not to celebrate this year and that's still hard for me to wrap my brain around. They may not be celebrating, but Ken and I decided to ignore them. We're going down to Dad's on Christmas Eve, bringing presents and picking up roast beef subs for lunch (long story, and too dull to go into here.)

Christmas Day should be a quiet affair here at home. I've already received my present (new computer) and I still need to wrap Ken's gifts. He'll be angry with what I got him, but he'll just have to get over it.

Most of this past weekend I spent setting up my new computer. I always love getting a new one. All the old crap that has accumulated on my old computer is now gone and I'm starting fresh. I spent quite a bit of time organizing bookmarks and stuff like that. I spent two solid days trying to set up my iTunes library. I wasn't thinking when I started and ended up importing my library twice and then deleting a good chunk of it before restoring it via my backup. I set up lots of new playlists and crap like that. I love that I didn't transfer over my email from the old computer. I'm starting fresh. If I didn't answer something before I switched computers, I've decided I'm officially off the hook.

I'm about to head to bed even though it's not even nine o'clock yet. I'm exhausted. We got home Thursday from the cruise and I've stayed up way too late every night since and have gotten up (via four pawed furry alarm clock) way too early every morning. This morning the real alarm clock got me up a mere five hours after falling asleep last night. I'm ready to drop.

Good night.

Hard Candy Christmas

2011-12-17T22:17:00.000-05:00

Batman intro (1966) IN LEGO

2011-12-17T14:42:00.000-05:00

There's A Hidden Valley Ranch Party In My Mouth

2011-12-17T08:25:00.002-05:00

Blunt

2011-12-06T20:21:00.000-05:00

I'm going to make a blunt statement. I do not like the person I currently am. At all. In fact, I really haven't liked me for the last couple of months.

I know I promised myself I wasn't going to turn this blog into the "My Mom Died" blog, but so much of my life right now is wrapped up in the aftermath of her passing that I can't not keep bringing it up. I have so much going on in my life in regards to it and so much to still work out that it's hard to function some days. I never in a million years thought that losing my Mom would be quite like this. I knew it would be hard, but absolutely nothing like it's been. I'm not going to go into the specifics of what all the issues are, but it's all contributing to the kind of person I've been since Mom died.

I have no patience for anyone. In fact, I snapped big time at Ken the other night over pudding. Pudding! Who does that? Apparently the current version of me does. I find little joy in the hobbies I love. I'm still reading comics, but I find I have no passion for them right now. I'm still dvr-ing all my tv shows, but I'm watching very few of them. Video games have been a chore to play lately. My online socializing habits are nearly non-existent. I don't really want to leave the house. Now I know I'm pretty much a homebody to start with, but that version of me is way more likely to go out and have fun than the current version. My bitterness quotient is through the roof.

I'm guessing not a lot of this shows on the surface, though. People at work seem to think I'm a little off, but mostly the same old me. And that's one thing I've always been good at, I guess. Putting up a shield. I try putting it up with Ken, too, but he knows me too well and sees right through it. And he worries, which in turn adds to my stress. He doesn't know how not to worry, so I can't fault him for that. But sometimes I just wish he'd take me at my word that I'm okay and I'm working though my issues. I know it's killing him giving me my space. We're so opposite when it comes to things like this. I need my space. Lots and lots of it. It's the only way I can process. He is my polar opposite at times like this. He wants to smother. How we've made it nearly 18 years is anyone's guess.

I just wish I could take a vacation from myself. I think it would do me a world of good. But in the meantime, I'll just have to settle for a vacation with myself. We've got a little getaway planned for the near future and it's something I desperately need. I plan on cutting myself off from the entire world to give myself a chance to breathe. I really hope I remember how to.

Hawkgirl & Flash

2011-12-04T19:28:00.001-05:00

I saw these posted on another blog and just fell in love with them. Had to share them here.

Finally

2011-12-04T16:21:00.000-05:00

Every weekend my plan is generally the same. I plan to do nothing but the essential things that need doing and spend the rest of the time relaxing. For some reason, I have lost the ability to do nothing. I find things to do that take me away from relaxing and then I regret it the rest of the weekend.

This weekend was different. Sure, I still managed to find a distraction, but it was one I needed. On my way to the supermarket yesterday afternoon, I got the urge to go find the street I grew up on. I've been feeling very nostalgic again, probably because Mom is still heavy in my thoughts. The place I consider the house I grew up in is one I lived in from the time I was about 2 until 10. After that, my family moved around a lot before settling down in my mid teens. Driving up the old street was pretty sad. The first house on the street belonged to the Kelly family. There was a SOLD sign out front. Mr. Kelly passed away shortly before my Mom did. His wife passed away a few years ago and their son lives in western NY now. The house next door belonged to the Talberts. I recently reconnected with Nancy Talbert, who is about my brother's age. It was then that I found out that her brother Tommy, who was my age, passed away a couple of years ago. Next to their house was my old house. It's weird, but the house looks so small now. It was huge when I was growing up, but now it isn't. None of the houses on my old street are. It's funny how the eyes of a child and the eyes of an adult view things so differently.

I enjoyed the drive through my old town. It's been years since I've done it, but hopefully won't be before I do it again.

Like I Said, I'm Already Going To Hell....

2011-12-01T17:42:00.001-05:00

I'm Already Going To Hell, So Why Not...

2011-12-01T17:41:00.000-05:00

2899.68

2011-11-29T20:53:00.000-05:00

So, if you've been following this blog for a while (God help you if you have), you know I set a goal back in January to go 1,200 miles over the course of 2011. Methods to get my 1,200 include walking, treadmill, elliptical and stationary bike. I was hesitant to set such a lofty goal for myself. I wasn't even sure I was going to be able to do 1,000, let alone 1,200. Well, I continue to amaze myself. After tonight's workout, I am a skootch above 100 miles from hitting 3,000 miles. Three THOUSAND miles. The thought just boggles my mind. Naturally, because this is me, I'm almost to this awesome goal and my knee is giving me problems. I'm not sure what's going on with it, but the last week it's been hurting. And not really pain hurting, but it feels odd hurting, if that makes any sense. I really need to make an appointment and get it checked out. I've got to get my foot checked out anyway, so what's another body part?

I've got 32 days left to do 100.32 miles. That averages to just over 3 miles a day. I think I can manage that.

Scream!

2011-11-28T21:18:00.002-05:00

Scream, as in "I'm going to..." My computer is getting so clunky and so slow and it's making me want to rip what little hair I have left out of my head. I think knowing that my Christmas present is on it's way isn't helping matters. That Christmas present is a brand spanking new computer. This one I've had for a number of years and it's done right by me, but it's getting so damn slow and I can't take it much longer.

I'm syncing my iPod as I write this and that's probably not a good thing as multitasking is something good ol' Sebastian is not that fond of anymore.

Blah Humbug!

2011-11-27T20:13:00.000-05:00

Just another mish mash post of things on my mind.

Thanksgiving came and went and was much easier on me than I thought it would be. It's the first major holiday without Mom, so it was definitely weird. I had my Dad and sister up for the day. I cooked us up the full spread. I knew Mom would have loved it. I know she absolutely loved coming up to my house for the holidays because she didn't have to cook and clean. And I never gave her food poisoning.

The day itself was good, but after Dad and Tina left and I went down to my office while Ken napped, I found that I was getting really, really sad and depressed. I thought about it quite a bit and realized that I'm still trying to be strong for everyone and only when I'm alone am I allowing myself to feel it. It's no longer a conscious effort, either, because I really wasn't trying to put on a brave face, I just did.

Ken was gung ho to put up the Christmas decorations this weekend, but I just wasn't feeling it. At all. It's not that I'm hating the holidays, but I'm just feeling very blah about them. Something in my head clicked tonight, though, and I dug out all the Christmas stuff and put up both the trees. And I actually had a good time doing it. So much so that I wanted to run out and buy some new ornaments. The ones we use on the "upstairs" tree are old and I'm kind of getting bored with them. I'm quite perplexed as to how I did a 180 on Christmas, but I'm very happy I did. Maybe tomorrow night after work I'll run out and look at stuff.

I was very proud of myself this long weekend when it came to eating. I kept things under control (for the most part), while maintaining a gym routine. The scale would raise an eyebrow at me, but it didn't swear or belittle me once. And then there was today. I don't feel like I ate a lot, but I did have a few drinkie drinks and I'm feeling like I ate three whole Thanksgiving dinners right now. I had the leftover pizza I brought home from the restaurant for lunch and some leftover turkey and a sweet potato for dinner. But I feel enormous right now. I have a feeling tomorrow is the day the scale loses it's shit with me.

I need to get my attitude back in check for work tomorrow. I've been letting everything little thing get to me and it's made my days pretty horrible. I've had almost an entire week off and I hope that's enough.

The worst part of having five days off in a row from work is about this time of night on Sunday. It's where I start thinking about all the things I planned on doing while I was off and how little of what I wanted to do got done.

I think I'm going to see Aimee Mann when she hits the area again. She's coming near the end of January. I'm looking forward to it. She puts on a great show and it's been maybe three or four years since I've seen her.

Time to go check and see if Amazing Race has started yet. Football ran over... AGAIN! If not, I need to shave this nasty scruff I've got all over my face.

Toy Whore

2011-11-23T21:31:00.000-05:00

If you know one thing about me, you know I'm a die hard comic book fan. I picked up my first comic book when I was ten years old and I haven't looked back since. As I've grown older, my fascination with the funny books has grown to include all things comics related. I love buttons and t-shirts and posters and drinking glasses and toys. Man, do I love toys. When I was young, I had super-hero toys that I played with and like almost every other toy I owned, I destroyed. I wish I could go back in time and snatch some of those toys from my younger self before that happened. Specifically, I'd love to go back and steal all the Mego toys I had. But I can't so I won't dwell on that thought for fear that I'll start crying.

I've blogged recently about how I've been having a hard time dealing with life lately. Yesterday was another particularly bad day. I don't know why I let things get to me like I do, but I do. I try to fight it, but I almost always seem to lose. Yesterday was a great big loss. But I knew I was taking today off of work for some much needed r&r. As the day went on and as my mood got worse, all I could think about was how I was going to go blow off steam by doing a good ol' toy hunt. And by that, what I mean is I pick a store a decent distance away from here as my starting point and then I hit every store that carries action figures from there all the way home. My plan was to do that this morning, then hit the gym, then start my Thanksgiving chores. But I didn't work late last night, got to the gym relatively early and realized I had a lot of time last night to do that. So I did, which left today wide open. My starting point was the furthest away of the two local Toys R Us stores. That store I have better luck at then I do the one much closer to me. The store was mostly a bust except I noticed that all the Green Lantern toys are now on clearance. There was one that I've been wanting, but it was just too expensive for me to justify it. But it's now marked down to $19.99 and I couldn't resist. It's this, the Green Lantern/Sinestro two pack. I really dig it and now I own it.

But otherwise, Toys R Us was a big fat bust. The line I'm most interested in right now is Mattel's DC Universe Classics. They had none of the recent waves of the figures, which bummed me out. I'm trying to complete my Apache Chief build a figure and I'm only half way there. I jumped on the DCU Classics line a little too late. I used to see them in Target all the time and as neat as they were, I thought that DC Direct did a much better job at making action figures. But DC Direct's output has slowed way down and the Classics line has been getting more and more appealing to me. I've been picking up the toys when I can find them, but it's getting harder and harder to find them. My local Toys R Us hasn't gotten in anything new in over a year. The further Toys R Us is about 2 or 3 waves behind. I've been having a little luck at one of the Target stores and one Wal-Mart, a store I'd prefer not to go into. But both locations I'm having luck at are not the closest stores to me. I've noticed that Target is still carrying the line while Wal-Mart only has it at a few selected locations. I could always buy the figures online, but there's something to be said about being able to find the toys in a physical store and to not have to wait for them to arrive. (But on the flip side of that coin, I LOVE getting packages in the mail.)

I did a decent job of finding some toys I really wanted at this year's New York Comic Con. As much as I love toy shopping, I love bargain shopping even more. I found a bunch of things for dirt cheap and that makes me very, very happy. I was better prepared for my shopping this year than I was last year. I have want lists conveniently located in my telephone now for easy reference. I'm itching to go back already, but the show is nearly a year away.

I'm very lucky that I have an entire (huge) office to devote to my collection of toys and comics. I'm really bad at guessing the size of this room, but I would say it's probably 15X30 feet and it's chock full of my junk. And I'm running out of room! In our old house, my office was a 14x14 room that was crammed high with all my stuff. Now it's all spread out, I've expanded beyond control and now I'm wishing I had another 15 or 20 square feet to display it all.

I'm an odd collector, I think. Some of the packages I won't open, while others barely make it home before they're ripped to shreds. There's no clear logic behind it. I mean, there is a partial logic. Some of the lines looks so good in their packages that I don't want to open them. But I also have some things still in the package for no good reason. But I'm not keeping things packaged because it will keep more of the value to it. I don't collect like that. I collect things that I like and things that make me happy. I plan on keeping this shit until I die and then once I'm dead, it won't matter if they're worth a thing or not.

I took some pictures of my toys today since I was thinking about blogging about them. The post didn't come out at all how I thought it would, but that's the beauty of just sitting here, turning your brain off and letting your fingers just go. I hope I've made sense, but again, I don't really care. :-)

This is a shot of my Justice Society figures

And here is the Justice League

We've got Red Lanterns and Orange Lanterns and Yellow Lanterns and Green Lanterns.....

Two of my favorite action figures, Hawkgirl & Hawkman. Both are dressed in their Earth-1 costumes

Green Lanterns

Power Girls

Wonder Women

Welcome To Smallville. This sign is reversible and the other side welcomes you to Midvale

Although I predominantly collect toys based on DC Comics characters, I do have characters from elsewhere. This is Kevin Matchstick from the comic MAGE

Curt Swan inspired Superman figures

That pesky Velma. I love her.

My Mom collected cookie jars. She had them up the wazoo. After she passed away, my Dad let me take this one. Not only is it beautiful, but I think of my Mom every time I look at it.

The Phantom Stranger is lurking from the rafters above my desk.

I've got Super-Villains watching from above.

Justice League Unlimited toys

I don't have a proper home for these, so they're just sitting on a table for now. And I need to find more of these Mego inspired Doctor Who figures. I love them.

An example of figures kept in the box. Alex Ross Kingdom Come toys just look better that way.

I love these.

This bookcase has a lot of miscellaneous toys.

My shrine to Supergirl and Batgirl

Blackest Night figures. I'm still missing a few.

I keep this bookcase full of the DC Universe Classics. When I end up with too many, I start opening them to make room.

Teen Titans on the bottom, Legion of Super-Heroes (and Legion of Super-Pets) on top.

Betty Bowers Explains Traditional Marriage to Everyone Else

2011-11-21T19:32:00.000-05:00

Twilight

2011-11-19T21:07:00.000-05:00

I suddenly get what the big deal about these Twilight movies is all about.

Hard

2011-11-19T20:30:00.000-05:00

I'm having a really hard time with life in general lately. It's been keeping me from posting here on anything close to a regular basis. The last thing I want to do when I'm having a not so great time is to come here and rehash it.

I know I've mentioned that I've been having a terrible time readjusting back to life since Mom passed in September. Since she's been gone, I've taken on a laundry list of things that I'm worried about, concerned with, helping out with and feeling helpless about. Add on top of that the regular curve balls that life throws your way and I've just been a mess. And I've noticed that things that usually don't bother me are starting to, and that the things that usually do bother me are bothering me on a much grander scale. I feel like I'm plummeting down into a bottomless abyss and I can't seem to stop myself no matter how hard I try.

In an attempt to reboot myself, Ken booked a (sort of) last minute vacation. We were supposed to go on a cruise in December, but the final payment was due right when Mom was sick and not knowing how much time she had left, we cancelled the trip. Ken decided that even though money is tight, we needed to get away, so he booked a new cruise for that same time period. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to this. I just want to lay out in the sun, read comics and get my mind off of EVERYTHING in my life right now. I really hope this is the kick in the pants I need to turn things around. Because I miss my pre-September 2011 life. I miss my friends. I miss playing online. I miss laughing.

Just Because

2011-11-09T21:05:00.001-05:00

Nuptuals

2011-11-08T20:15:00.000-05:00

Tonight I was asked for the very first time to participate in a wedding. Well, not entire true, but close enough. Last week I was asked if I'd be willing to make a speech at the reception and I freaked and said "no." I hate speaking in front of people in the worst kind of way. Instead, Ken is going to make that speech. Tonight I was asked instead to read a poem. I agreed. I'm still nervous as hell, but the attendance of the wedding is going to be significantly smaller (wedding is Friday, reception is Saturday) and what I have to say is already prepared. The first half of the poem is going to be read by one of the bride's sister-in-law. I read the second part, which is as follows:

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.

Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,

commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly,

and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life

is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life,

new experiences, new ways of expressing

a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage,

they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer

than any spoken or written words.

Marriage is a promise made in the hearts of two people

who love each other, and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

I hope I don't stutter too much or stumble over my words, as I tend to do when I get nervous.

The Curley Luck

2011-11-02T19:22:00.000-04:00

My Dad always said that if it wasn't for bad luck, we'd have no luck at all. Lately, I would have to agree with him. It seems I'm in the middle of a particularly bad bad luck streak. Nothing seems to be going quite the way I've planned things. Things seemed to have taken a bad turn in September. Let's recap:

Mom went into the hospital on September 2 with back pain only to find she had terminal cancer with just weeks left to live.
Ken and I were all set to get married on October 1. Unfortunately, that's the week Mom passed away and instead held her funeral that weekend.
I took a weekend trip to New York to attend the New York Comic Con. The morning I left for New York, I woke up with a very sore throat. By the end of that day, I had completely lost my voice.
Ken and I made plans to spend the Labor Day weekend with our friends Eric & Brett in New York. The trip had to be cancelled because that's the weekend Mom ended up in the hospital.
We had another trip planned, this time to Connecticut for Ken's cousin's wedding. Again, this had to be cancelled due to Mom's failing health.
We got in the car to go down to Dad's house two weeks ago. As soon as we hit the highway, the car started doing all sorts of horrible things. We turned around, got it to the garage only to find out we were minutes from a total breakdown. I don't even want to discuss how much money the repairs cost.
The mortgage refinance we just went through was FROM HELL! Nuff said.
This weekend we drove to New Jersey for our friend Gregg's birthday party. Naturally, a freak autumn Nor'easter hits and we drive three hours in the snow to arrive at another friend's house. When we arrived, the tree in his front yard had just fallen into the driveway, taking down some power lines. About an hour after we got there, the electricity failed. The roads were too bad for us to venture to the party, instead living like the Ingalls family for the night with no heat or power.

I could go on, but I won't. I'm sick of the shitty luck. I'm ready for things to turn around and for something good to happen. I don't think that's asking too much.

Bad

2011-10-27T20:27:00.000-04:00

Apparently, I'm a very bad person. At least, that's what I gathered today from a bitch fight I found myself in on Facebook. Ken and I refinanced our mortgage and had our closing yesterday. The entire process didn't go nearly as smoothly as we were promised and we ended up with nothing but trouble every single step of the way. I tried to hold back my feelings during all of this, but even this morning, I was still raging at the treatment we received from the lender. So I posted a bitter comment about it on my Facebook page. Someone who I wasn't directing my anger at jumped in and started demanding I take down my status update, that this was slander, how dare I attack him/her, etc etc etc. Trying to explain my feelings in simple basic English only seemed to make matters worse. I find it very amusing that this one employee whom I didn't have an issue with was making my point crystal clear about the lack of customer service this lender has. It was pointed out by a few, both in the thread and by personal message, that this behavior couldn't have been more unprofessional. So, yes, I admit that directing my anger at one person towards an entire company was misplaced (one bad apple don't spoil the whole bunch girl!), it was nice to see someone whom my anger was not (initially) pointed at jump in and assume I meant him/her.

There was a reason I've pulled back from internetting lately. Perhaps this was a sign that I need to do that again.

Electra Woman and Dyna Girl

2011-10-24T21:08:00.002-04:00

Scary

2011-10-24T10:56:00.001-04:00

Belated NYCC Pictures

2011-10-23T19:13:00.000-04:00

I promised pictures from the New York Comic Con, but I didn't get a chance to post them the night after my last post, as planned. So without further ado...

Hawkman. This Hawkman, however, could stand to have a cheeseburger or two.

Me & Oscar the Grouch

Blair from Road Rules. He's dreamy.

I have to admit, I stole this picture from another website. My friend Todd spotted him at one point and told me about it, but I never actually saw this Luke Cage at the con. He looks fantastic.

Some of the toys I bought at the show. I was on the prowl for bargains and I found 'em.

Another bargain.

While technically not something from the convention, my friend George gave this to me while I was in NYC. It was supposed to be my wedding present, but since the wedding was postponed, he wanted to give it to me now. It's an original Fred Hembeck re-creation of the New Teen Titans #1 cover. I'm in love with it.

More bargains to be had.

Not bargains, but toys I didn't even knew existed. And I love them. Doctor Who figures in the Mego scale!!

My new Super Friends shirt.

New drinking glasses.

My new Red Lantern hoodie.

I got to meet up with my old friend Chris (see previous post). I miss him.

Wonder Woman!

The crowd as it was starting to wind down on Saturday.

More winding down of the crowd, with an overview of the DC Booth.

More winding down.

And a little more winding down.

This Legion set went on sale last Monday and sold out instantly. I want!

Aquaman & Mera.

Nightwing and Supergirl.

Spider-Man's worst nightmare.

Jean Grey.

Superman

This guy's Plastic Man costume was PERFECTION!

Robins

Jack Knight

Black Canary and Green Arrow

Poison Ivy vs. Batgirl

Batgirl & The Riddler

The Sensational She-Hulk

The Black Orchid costume was probably my favorite costume from the con. Hands down.

Mr. T

More of me & Radtke

I didn't notice until later, but this asswipe walked right into my picture of Dazzler. She was fucking fantastic!

The Watchmen

The Huntress

George in the Batmobile

Batgirl

Plastic Man again.

Power Girl

A Yellow & a Red Lantern

Bad news for Batman

Killer Moth

The X-Men and a Yellow Lantern?

I didn't go to the con with the intention of taking all these pictures, but I'm sure glad I did. I should have taken more while I was there. There were so many great costumes. People really embraced the spirit of the convention and it made the show such a great experience. Next year, I'm planning on taking twice the pictures.

NYCC

2011-10-17T20:46:00.000-04:00

I spent this weekend in New York attending the New York Comic Con. Last year was the first year I attended this show and I was anxious to get back. Although I was planning on going (since last October, actually), I had made no plans because, like just about everything else I've been talking about lately, Mom's illness popped up and everything got put on the back burner. So I had no plans to go this year, wasn't really feeling like doing anything at all, but my friend George asked me if I was coming. I talked to Ken about it and decided that I need to do this. For me. Things haven't exactly been getting better since Mom died and I really needed an escape from it all. So Friday morning at the crack of dawn, I boarded the MegaBus for NYC and got my geek on in the best way possible. I arrived in the city at 10:15 and headed right over the the con. By 11 o'clock we were in, my luggage stowed and off to wander. I brought down my sketchbook with me because I was hoping to score a bunch of commissions. This didn't exactly go my way. At 11 o'clock, for instance, many artists were already booked up through that day and most of Saturday. At least the bigger name artists I was hoping to hit up.

The con was insanely busy. Last year I got to the con just after lunch and it was pretty busy, but not too bad. This year, hours earlier, it was beyond mobbed. They estimated that 100,000 people were going to attend. It felt like it, but not in a bad way.

George and I did a lot of wandering around, shopping and browsing and taking pictures. I tried to hook up with some friends I knew were attending. I texted my friend Martha, but unfortunately she didn't see my text until later that night. She wasn't attending Saturday and I wasn't attending Sunday, so we missed each other. I did finally get together with a couple of people I was hoping to, though. The first was my friend Hank. I've known Hank since we were both teenagers, however we've never met in person before. Long before the internet, fandom was based through the mail. We were both members of an amateur press association. We had our first chance to meet back in 1988 when we were both at the San Diego Comic Con, but the night he called up to my room, jet lag and con exhaustion had set in and I was passed out. The friends who I was with told me they couldn't rouse me, I was that dead to the world. The second time we missed each other was last year at the NYCC. I was there such a short while, so it was difficult meeting up. This year, George and I were walking around and we stopped at one point in front of the DC Comics booth. And lo and behold, there he was, standing just a couple feet from us. Finally! We only got ten or fifteen minutes before he had to get back to work. I was hoping to run into him again, but it didn't happen.

On Saturday, George had work to do, so I wandered about on my own and hooked up with my buddy Chris. I haven't seen him in maybe 15 years. He went to college here in Albany and was the roommate of a good friend of mine. We lost touch over the years, but that's bound to happen. It was fucking fantastic catching up with him. Like George, he was at the con to not only enjoy himself, but he had to work, too.

Right after we parted, I was wandering aimlessly when I ran into someone I work with. It was really random. In a crowd of 100,000, someone from work was the last person I thought I would run into.

The final person I ran into was my friend Todd. I found out he was going to be there Saturday, so I told him to text me when he got there. Naturally, he forgot my number. He did try sending me a Facebook message around 1, but I didn't see that until later that night. George and I were walking through Artist Alley when I see someone come up to me fast. It was Todd. Good thing he saw me because I was oblivious to him.

The only thing that sucked about the convention is I wasn't in the best health. I woke up Friday with a sore throat and by Friday night, I had full blown laryngitis. My voice still isn't back yet, but it's coming back slowly but surely.

I had a great time and it was definitely the break from reality I needed. I have lot of pictures, but it's late and I'm too tired to wait for them all to upload tonight. It'll be something to look forward to tomorrow!

Getting Back To A Normal Life

2011-10-10T19:39:00.003-04:00

I'm trying my damnedest to get back into a regular life kind of routine. The last month or two have really knocked me off the tracks. August was a fun month, what with vacation and all, but I really haven't been back to normal since then. A couple of weeks after getting back is when Mom got sick and September was a great big giant blur.

I've been trying to ease myself back into a regular routine. I'm getting back to the gym, which is huge. My visits over the last six weeks or so have been pretty sparse. I'm trying to get back into a regular schedule, but that hasn't happened quite yet. I've been going, just not on set days. Yet.

I'm still going to try to get to Dad's house at least once a week for the foreseeable future. This past Saturday Ken and I spent over six hours sorting through papers. Mom did all the paperwork, all the bills, all the everything. She seemed to have had a system for filing, but it's one that escapes me. It was organized chaos. She knew where everything was in her piles and secret stashes of papers, but no one else did. Saturday we spent all day just sorting into piles things like taxes, bank statements, bills and all that stuff. Next time, the plan should be to go through the things we sorted, file by file, and determine what still needs to be kept and what needs to be purged.

My diet is something I'm easing myself back into. I've been eating like crap for the last month or so. Real crap. As much as I love diner food and burger joints and places like that, I really don't think I can take much more of them. I've been living on Pop Tarts, pb&j, french fries and burgers and my body isn't very happy with me. I've managed to keep my weight (kind of) in check, but my body is feeling pretty gross. I should be able to get things back in check in a relatively short period of time. I just need to get back on the better eating wagon.

I love a three day weekend from work, but I'm at the point of it where I hate hate hate it. It's almost 8 o'clock, and while I got a lot done this weekend, I'm in a panic thinking about the other things I wanted to do but didn't, and the things I still need to do before going to bed. If only I had one more day.

I'm also trying to get back into the swing of writing here again. I've let things slip. I wasn't feeling very communicative at all during September. I didn't feel like broadcasting the fact that Mom was sick. I had a bunch of one on one conversations about it, but kept it off the general airwaves.

Another thing I've been easing myself back into is a social life. Saturday Ken and I had plans to go help my Dad and sister sort paperwork, but before that we met up with Kevin & Brian from Danbury. We usually meet at a place half way between us, and Dad's house is in between the restaurant and my house. It was very convenient for us to do both things! I've got a few more things planned for the month of October and that's making me very happy.

And finally, I spent most of yesterday cleaning my dirty ass house. All housework went by the wayside while Mom was sick. There was no time to do anything. Ken really surprised me by keeping up with both the laundry (something he NEVER does) and the dishes (something he SOMETIMES does). Everything else just didn't happen. I spent the whole day working on the main living space. I got it all done except for the bathroom and mopping the kitchen floor. And what took me hours to accomplish yesterday Ken managed to trash in the span of about fifteen minutes. I was really annoyed. He tried picking up his mess, but the family room is still in need of another once over. Swell. I was hoping to deep clean the second floor today, but I got sidetracked with other chores. Tonight IS clean sheet night, however. It's my favorite day of the week!

ENOUGH!

2011-10-07T20:51:00.002-04:00

I've been to two funerals in less than one week. Both an hour or so away. Both women who passed before their time. I've had enough.

The New 52

2011-10-05T16:26:00.000-04:00

September was anything but a normal month for me on all counts. September was the month that DC Comics introduced their 52 brand new titles. The day that I got my copy of the first of these books, Justice League #1, was also the day my mother went into the hospital. The day that the last batch of these first issues was released was the day my mother passed away. There wasn't much time in between the release of the first and last issues for me to read them. However, today I finished reading the stack of all 52 issues. I decided that even though I was very unhappy with the decision to cancel everything and start fresh, I thought the least I should do was to sample the new titles and then make decisions on what to read based on the first issues. It didn't hurt that there was such a major push that most retailers were offering great deals for trying the entire line.

I tried to sort the books as I finished them, putting them somewhat in the order that I liked them, from best to worst. The books might not be in exactly the right order, but it's close enough.

Some books surprised me for both the better and the worst. For example, I was very surprised at how much I didn't like any of the Superman family of books. I was really, really disappointed in every single one of them. Action was probably my favorite of the Superman books, but in spite of it being a Superman book. I won't be following any of those in the future.

Another surprise was that I actually enjoyed I, Vampire. From the looks of the book, from the description of the book, I was pretty sure it would be near the bottom of my pile. I'm actually intrigued and plan on following up on this, though I'm going to wait for the trade rather than read it monthly.

I found it interesting that one writer wrote one of my favorite and one of my least favorite books. Kyle Higgins, someone I'm not familiar with at all, wrote both Nightwing and Deathstroke. Nightwing was actually pretty damn good, I thought, while Deathstroke was painful and in need of instant cancellation.

My ten favorite books of the month were as follows:

Batgirl, my favorite book of the month.

Batwoman

Batman

Aquaman

Green Lantern

Wonder Woman

Legion Of Super-Heroes

Nightwing

DC Universe Presents

Justice League Dark

Without further ado, here are my ten least favorite books. These were bad. Bad bad.

Voodoo

Captain Atom

Blackhawks

Teen Titans

Red Hood and the Outlaws

OMAC

Grifter

Green Arrow

Deathstroke

And finally, the absolute biggest piece of shit for the month

Hawk & Dove

I think that I'm going to end up reading about twenty or so titles out of the line up. Some I'm planning on reading monthly and some I'm planning on reading in trade. I plan on reading Wonder Woman, Nightwing, DC Universe Presents, Swamp Thing, Batwing, I, Vampire, Demon Knights, All-Star Western and Justice League International in trade format, at least the first volume of each. These books intrigued me enough to want to read more, but not necessarily every single month. As for monthly titles, I'm going to pick up Batgirl, Batwoman, Batman, Aquaman, Green Lantern, Legion, Justice League Dark, Savage Hawkman, Green Lantern: New Guardians, Detective, Frankenstein, Red Lanterns, Green Lantern Corps, Stormwatch, Justice League and Legion Lost. That's 16 monthly titles and 9 trades. How long I stick with any of these is anyone's guess, but those were the titles that didn't repulse me. The other 27 titles in the line, though....

Family Tree

2011-10-04T22:59:00.000-04:00

Earlier this year, Ken got the idea that he wanted to trace back his family tree. He signed up for ancestry.com and started researching. And he got back pretty far. I was impressed. So I asked him to help me with mine. But we hit a lot of roadblocks. I just don't know enough about my family history. On my dad's side, we only got as far back as his grandparents. We didn't start my mom's side, though. This was mostly because Mom told me her sister had been doing a lot of research herself. She told me to ask for what she'd found, but I kept putting it off and never did get around to it. Until the ordeal with Mom. On one of the visits her sister made, I started asking her about it. She told me she'd drop the info in the mail, but before she could, Mom passed, so my aunt brought the info in person to the funeral. The last two nights Ken and I have been digging and finding what we could find. My aunt hit a roadblock when researching her mother's side of the family. She managed to get all the way back to her great grandfather Palmer, but couldn't find anything else. We found back two more generations of Palmers before we came up short. However, we found another branch. The wife of the last Palmer we found, my great great great great grandmother. Her branch. And from there, I found my great great great great great great great great great grandparents. Major Brian Pendleton and his wife Eleanor. I wish I could have found one more generation back because my aunt found back the same number of generations following another branch. Apparently I'm descended from a man named Pardon Tillinghast.

As it stands, right now I've been able to trace back my family tree to the year 1599. This boggles my mind. The fact that there are still records that exist that allow the tracking is insane to me. It's hard for me to wrap my head around anything pre-internet.

Kate Bush - This Woman's Work

2011-09-30T18:51:00.000-04:00

This is the song that has been playing constantly through my head for the last four weeks. It's probably one of the most heartbreaking songs I know. And it hit way too close to home for me.

September 2011

2011-09-30T08:51:00.004-04:00

September 2011 has not been a good month. In fact, I would go as far as saying it was the single worst month of my life.

I was at work on Friday September 2 when I got a message from my sister that our mother was just taken to the hospital via ambulance. She'd been having back issues for the last month or two. She'd been out of work because of it for the last month and was scheduled to go back to her doctor for a follow up that afternoon. But the pain was so bad that she couldn't move. Dad called the ambulance and off she went. I called Ken and he said he'd come pick me up from work and we'd make the drive down to see Mom.

We got to the ER to find Mom in a bed with three broken bones in her back. But that was the least of her problems. She had broken bones, she had elevated calcium levels in her system and she had undiagnosed stage four breast cancer. Her doctor was hopeful that giving her chemotherapy would help give her a few more quality years. Unfortunately, she only managed to make it through one round of chemo. The cancer had spread too much and she just didn't have enough fight left in her.

Wednesday morning I was again sitting at work when I got the call that we needed to get to the hospital. I called Ken, he picked me up and we got there as fast as we could. I knew this day was inevitable, but I didn't think it would come so soon. Mom was surrounded by her loved ones when she passed away. She was 67. Far too young.

We're having a small service for her on Sunday. She wouldn't have wanted anything else. Hell, she probably wouldn't even have wanted that, but she's getting one.

The last month has been awful. I've been burning the candle at all ends. My days would start early with work, get home to feed the cats and then make the drive to Kingston (about an hour) to spend a couple hours with Mom and then back home to bed. And repeat. As awful as this has all been, it's given me a chance to reconnect with my aunt and cousins who live in Connecticut. Time and distance have gotten in between our lives. Hopefully we can avoid letting that happen again.

This was supposed to be the happiest weekend of my life. Until last weekend, Ken and I were still scheduled to get married this weekend. Instead, we'll be saying goodbye to Mom.

I miss my Mom.

Little To Say

2011-09-09T20:35:00.000-04:00

I like writing about my life here. I don't lead a very interesting life, but I like writing about what I'm up to and what I'm doing. I don't really do it for anyone but myself. If you happen to read this dreck, I apologize for those minutes you will never get back.

Anyway, there's been some pretty heavy shit going on in my life lately. It's really taken all the wind out of my sails and I just haven't had any desire to communicate with people, be it in person, via email or even blogging. I don't know if or when there's going to be an end in sight for all this, but until things start working themselves out, I'm probably going to take a little breather from here. I'm sure I'll pop in from time to time to talk about stupid shit (like the new 52 title from DC Comics...), but it's hard enough to think right now as it is.

Just wanted to give you dear readers a heads up.

Playlist

2011-09-01T21:06:00.001-04:00

I have a specific playlist I listen to while I'm working out. There are a few hundred songs on the list and I'm constantly adding and subtracting songs to and from it. I always listen in shuffle mode to keep it fresh. These are the songs I heard tonight while I was sweating my balls off on the elliptical. Most are the official videos, but not all.

The DC Relaunch

2011-08-30T21:17:00.000-04:00

Okay, what I was trying to say in my previous post can be summed up by this guy, who I think I might actually be. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

The End Of An Era

2011-08-30T21:11:00.000-04:00

Tonight at midnight, many comic book stores across the country are opening up to do midnight sales in honor of two DC comic books. They are Flashpoint #5 and Justice League #1. Flashpoint #5 features the end of the DC Universe as I've known it my entire life. Justice League #1 is the start of the brand new DC Universe (aka the DCnU.) I've been rather depressed about this since the announcement was first made a few months ago. DC Comics, in an attempt to remain relevant, is rebooting their entire line of comics. Everything that has come before is now thrown out the window (contrary to what Dan DiDio keeps harping) in favor of all new heroes, all new continuity, all new creators. Every single mainstream DC comic book has been cancelled and replaced with either a new #1 of the same title or just plain cancelled and replaced with something totally different. I've tried to remain positive about this, but it's been hard. Every time I start to feel a little better about the change, a new announcement comes out and takes the wind out of my sails. The last one was something that rather annoyed me. I'd come to accept that everything I love was gone. I was psyching myself up to try the new stuff and then Dan DiDio, one of the big wigs at DC, says that this isn't really a reboot, but more of a retooling. And then lists off a whole bunch of things from the past that he says still happened in the new continuity. This really doesn't work for me. They're trying to make a fresh start, retool or completely overhaul all the characters in their line, throw out everything that's come before, set a strict "superheroes never existed before five years ago" time frame and then tries to say that all these things, all these years of continuity still happened. There's no way you can take the old and shoehorn it in with the new. It doesn't work that way. DC is missing a giant opportunity by wiping the slate clean and starting completely fresh.

I'm still very skeptical about how this is all going to pan out. It's really taken my enthusiasm for comics away. The last few months of books have been hard to read knowing that by the end of the current storylines, the stories no longer matter.

Since DC is giving this a huge push, I was able to secure a huge discount for all the new #1s. Because of this, I've decided to try all 52 books. I have them all on order. The same discount was available for the second issues of these books, but I decided to only order the ones I had any sort of interest in and that would be 16 out of the 52 books. By the third issue, I'm sure I'll be ordering less. I really hope I'm wrong, though. I've been a lifelong fan of DC Comics. I started reading them back in 1976 when I was ten years old and I've never looked back. Thirty-five years of reading comics and for the first time, I'm questioning whether or not I still want to go on. I've NEVER EVER entertained that thought before. But this really is a great jumping off point. Everything I like has ended as of this week. There are always trade paperbacks of the stuff that I love, so I don't have to quit cold turkey. I can ease myself off.

It's just sad.

Do Over

2011-08-29T21:03:00.003-04:00

I want to call Do Over on today. I really don't know what happened to me, but I spent most of the day in a fairly crumby mood. And it didn't help that I kept hearing the same Hurricane Irene stories from the same people at work over and over and over again. And I kept hearing everyone freaking out at the rising river and stream waters. And every time I heard one of those stories again, it irritated me even more. It gets exhausting sitting there, stewing and just being miserable. I wasn't planning on hitting the gym tonight, but I had to. I needed to get rid of some of these rotten feelings. It helped, but not enough. I'm hoping a solid night of sleep will take care of the rest. I'm looking forward to being in a better mood tomorrow. I'm just glad Ken isn't around tonight to (a) have to deal with my pissiness and (b) not here to press my buttons. Instead, he's dealing with his on irritation. He needs a new hose and strap for his sleep apnea machine. Every time he needs a new part, all he gets is aggravation. The doctors won't just give him replacement parts. He first needs to make an appointment with his regular doctor to get a referral to the sleep clinic people. Then he needs to go and spend the night there, hooked up to machines, just to get a replacement part. It's quite the procedure when it really doesn't have to be. To me, it seems like a giant scam for the sleep clinic to collect from the insurance companies. So he's away tonight, not sleeping at the clinic and I'm here, not feeling the joy.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day!

A Little Of This, A Little Of That

2011-08-28T20:12:00.001-04:00

I'm listening to Art of Noise right now. I haven't really paid them much attention in a really long time, but a Google+ friend just recently got back into them and was posting about it and it got me to wanting to listen again. I had forgotten how much I liked them. It's interesting listening to them now. I think they've aged incredibly well. They still sound relevant even though some of this music is 25 years old.

I just got back (well, a week ago, but still...) from another vacation in Austin. I think it's safe to say that this is now an annual thing being that this was my third August there. I really love going there. Not only is it a nice break from life, but it really wonderful to see my Austin family. I never realize exactly how much I miss them until I see them. This year's trip wasn't going to happen. I didn't have a solid plan to go until close to when the trip actually happened. I've got a Southwest Airlines Visa card and every purchase on it helps to earn me free flights. They recently changed their program and any free flights I had under the old program were going to expire. I had one and it was going to expire in November, which is unfortunate because I don't have any travel plans until December. So with that in mind, I decided that I couldn't just let the ticket go to waste. And my vacation was born.

This year's trip differed in a lot of ways from the previous two. Freddy had the fucking nerve to get a job and started it shortly before I arrived. I was used to having him around 24/7 for my visits. But with him at work, I got to have a lot more solo time with his boys. In fact, a few days before the trip, I got a text asking if I would mind babysitting the first full day I was there. I was pretty psyched about it. I love those little fuckers more than I can say. And we had a pretty great day. They never broke me down!!!

I also got to spend a little bit of time with Jed, which I hadn't really gotten much of a chance to do in the past. We got to geek out and talk about comics, play Words With Friends and talk a little bit. I'm really happy that happened.

On the flip side of this, not everything panned out like I'd hoped. I really didn't sit myself down and properly plan out the trip. There were things I wanted to do and people I wanted to see, but they just didn't happen. I'm lucky enough that I got a chance to see and spend time with my friends Diane and Gregg. If I had actually started getting in touch with people the day I booked my flight, I might have had a little more success. But that just gives me a reason to go back as soon as I can justify it.

I was looking through my photos from this trip and realized that I just didn't take all that many, not like in years past. But that makes sense. The first year, I took hundreds and hundreds. It was the trip of a lifetime. The second year, I still took a ton, but not as many. This year hardly any at all. Looking through them, I realized that there were a few things I wish I'd taken pics of. I didn't get a single shot of Jed. I got a few shots of me and the boys and there are a couple of Freddy, but not a whole lot.

Adrian, my and my sunglasses. I hate that he looks so much better in them than I do.

Me and the boys. It took about twenty or so attempts to get one decent picture of the three of us. Adrian and I were doing pretty good until Hurricane Nathan blew in. He finally sat still enough for this picture, which I love.

This bumper sticker made me laugh.

This print was hanging in the guest room. I instantly fell in love with it. I tried to decipher the artist's signature, but it's one bit scribble. Jed couldn't remember the name of the guy. I'm bummed because I think it's so great. If anyone recognizes it, let me know. I want to get one and see what else the artist has available.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing in this picture, but I know Diane is looking HAWT!

Another picture I LOVE.

I took my fair share of food pictures, but I didn't photograph everything I ate. I'm a little bummed now that I missed a few things. Here is a burrito from Chuy's. It was so good, but a little light on the chicken. The sauce more than made up for it, though.

I look forward to a fried avocado when I'm in Texas. I got mine at Torchy's Tacos when Jed, the boys and I went out to breakfast. This is just one big basket of love.

The white trash in my couldn't get enough of these cheese topped tater tots.

And if the tots weren't enough, how can you go wrong with corn dogs?

Gregg came up with a fantastic idea. When it's 107 degrees in Austin, what better is there to do than to go underground? We hit Inner Space Cavern. It was a glorious 72 degrees and out of the sun.

After dinner cocktails.

On Wednesday Jed and the boys left for Galveston and I was on my own for the afternoon. I ended up walking all over town. I had a blast. I hit the book store, then the comic shop, then hiked across town to get frozen yogurt, went to the toy store, stopped by Nathan's school and then headed home. I was in sandals and my feet got filthy. Why I felt the need to take a picture is anyone's guess, but I did.

Just as we were leaving for the airport to drop me off, I realized I didn't have my sunglasses. I ran back in and did a quick search, but couldn't find them. I was hoping that I packed them by mistake. A few hours after I left, I got this picture via text. Glasses found! I left them out on the back deck. I still have no recollection of taking them off there, but that was the only place I didn't look. D'oh!

Going home from Austin always sucks. I'd be a liar if I said I didn't cry, but I think I did much better with "goodbye" than I have in years past. But yeah, I still cried. But the sadness turned pretty quickly to extreme annoyance. My flight home was a little more involved than anticipated. I flew from Austin to Orlando and then Orlando to home. My flight home was supposed to get in at 10:20 Friday night. When I got to Orlando, I found that my flight was delayed. I figured it was going to be maybe 30 minutes late or some such bullshit. Instead I was told that my flight wasn't going to depart Orlando until 10:20, the same time I was supposed to arrive home. I wasn't counting on a couple extra hours in the airport, but I tried to make the best of it. I got pizza, candy and found a comfy seat to read comics in. And I thought the two hour delay getting to Austin was bad!

I love my Austin family. I don't think I really show them this enough, though I'm sure I'll be told I'm being ridiculous for saying that.

And to add to the continuing theme of the last few posts I've had, today I hurt myself. I managed to pull a muscle in my chest. I don't do this very often, but when I do, it hurts like hell. I was changing the sheets this morning when I did it. It hurt, but wasn't too bad. Until I grabbed the laundry to bring upstairs. I made it worse and now it hurts like a bitch. If this goes as it usually does, it'll take a day or two before I feel back to normal. Seriously, can I please stop hurting myself already?

Ouch

2011-08-26T22:35:00.002-04:00

Hurricane Irene is heading up the east coast and we are in her path. Tonight after the gym, I headed out into the back yard to start moving the patio furniture. Since we're expecting heavy winds, Ken and I decided to put everything in the shed and garage until the storm passes. It was pitch black out when I got home, but I put on the back light and started lugging furniture to the shed. Some of the foliage back by the shed is a little overgrown and I brushed up against something with my left arm. I thought it was some sort of pricker bush or something because I immediately felt something. When I got in, I showered (still sweaty and smelly from the gym) and headed downstairs. That's when I noticed I've got a bunch of bumps on my arm. They're itchy, but not red or anything. I'm having a reaction of some sort to whatever I brushed against. Joy. Just when I finally got rid of the spider bite, now I've got this. (Did I write about the spider bite? I need to look back and see.) I'll pop a Benadryl tonight and hope that does something. I really don't want yet another trip to the doctor this soon.

Kim Wilde - It's Alright

2011-08-26T22:26:00.000-04:00

Kim Wilde has a brand new covers album out called "Snapshots." It's got a really neat and varied song selection, which makes me happy. As much as I love covers albums, sometimes they get a little earnest and predictable. This one, not so much. I'm loving it. Here's the video for the first single, originally a song by the group East 17.

Old

2011-08-24T21:16:00.002-04:00

I hate getting older. Hate it. For one reason and one reason only. My body continues to betray me. Tomorrow I need to do two things. I need to call the urologist and reschedule my upcoming appointment. I'd forgotten all about it until I found my appointment card and realized the appointment is supposed to be the day before the wedding. Normally not a big deal, but I'll have company at the house and I don't think taking them to the urologist is a good way to entertain. The second thing I need to do is set up an appointment with an orthopedist. Ken saw one he really likes, so I need to get this guy's name and hope he can see me before my fucking foot falls off.

Otherwise, I've had no issues with aging.

993

2011-08-23T21:45:00.003-04:00

Just noticed that I'm very close to 1,000 posts on this little blog thingie. How the hell did that happen?

Anyway, I've been itching to write about my life the last two weeks or so, but just haven't had the time. Tonight I've got the time, but not much motivation, so this will undoubtedly be short.

I've been home from Texas for a few days now and it feels like my feet hit the ground running since getting off the plane. I was planning a quiet and relaxing weekend to ease myself back into life, but that didn't happen. Lots of errands all weekend long led straight into a hectic work week. The first week back from vacation is always pretty busy. I've got this kid who covers the most important part of my job while I'm away and it's rare that he ever does much of it. This time was no difference. I spent all day Monday and part of today catching up the work he chose not to do as well as some of his work because he never bothered showing up yesterday. And another peer's work because he was out sick. Then there was the one/two punch of work stoppage. Management threw an ice cream social for us today as a thank you for the amount of work accomplished in the last year. By the time that was dwindling down, the earthquake hit and that caught everyone off guard.

My internal clock is still not quite adjusted back to where it should be. Too many late nights in Texas and too many early mornings here at home.

I hate having so much going on right now, too. But vacation is now behind me, I've got a few weekends with plans coming up, we're working on refinancing our mortgage and the wedding (ours, and then three different sets of friends soon after) coming up. Oy.

I Got....

2011-08-09T18:41:00.003-04:00

I got a new crown on Monday morning. My root canal was a complete success and the crown fits beautifully. When my dentist had it made, he compensated for the crown above it that screwed up my bite just the teeniest bit. My bit feels terrific now.

I got the insurance reimbursement check from the root canal yesterday in the mail. I've heard all sorts of different stories from a bunch of different people about how much the insurance reimbursement was going to be. Anywhere from 10% to $750. Most people seemed to agree it was going to be about $325. And everyone was wrong. I was quite surprised to see just over $500 was covered. Still means I had to fork over just over $400 that I wasn't planning on spending, but it's done now. I don't believe I have enough benefit left to get the other root canal I'm in need of, but I've lived this long with the tooth not behaving, I can live a couple more months.

I got a bug bite. I woke up Saturday morning to find a red rash on my right arm about the size of a quarter. I clearly was bitten by something.

I got a little concerned. Sunday, my bug bite had doubled in size. It didn't hurt and it didn't show any of the symptoms associated with a tick bite. I was a little concerned that it grew, but I figured that was it.

I got freaked out. Monday morning I woke up and in addition to the bug bite, I had a long streak running up my arm from the rash. I was out of work Monday morning for the crown, so right after I headed to the local urgent care to have it checked out. I was given some antibiotics to fight the rash and sent on my way.

I got kicked in the ass. These antibiotics are kicking my fucking ass. I tend not to feel the general side effects associated with antibiotics, so I was completely unprepared for feeling like shit. But everything I'm feeling is a typical side effect of the pills. They're potent. But they're starting to work. My rash is starting to fade. Oh, and from what the doctor said to what a few co-workers said, it's likely my bug bite was actually a spider bite. However, the spider did not appear to be radioactive and I can't climb walls, shoot webs or have a spider sense.

I got a big chuckle from the Planet of the Apes YouTube video I posted just before this blog post. It made me smile more than any recent YouTube video has. Love it.

I got more details. Ken and I have decided on and booked a place to have our makeshift reception for our wedding. I call it makeshift because it's not really a reception, but a lunch out with a few close friends who are also going to be there to witness us trading in our current lives for ones of wedded agony. :-) We've been talking a lot about wedding plans and Ken is starting to freak out a little bit. He doesn't think we've invited enough people. I both agree and disagree with him about this. I'd love to invite a lot more people to this, but that goes against two important laws we laid down first. We wanted it to be very small and intimate. And we only have a limited budget to play with. I understand we're going to get shit from a couple people about this, but I'm not going to take it. If I was in a better financial situation, I'd have a much bigger soiree.

I got a new job. I'm babysitting on Friday and I can't wait! I'm going to try my best not to be manipulated and used, but I'm sure I've already failed and it's only Tuesday.

Planet of the Apes Party Fun Time (remix to Benny Benassi Presents the Biz)

2011-08-09T18:39:00.000-04:00

Quickie

2011-08-05T20:38:00.000-04:00

Took today off from work. I had an appointment at 11 this morning to finish up my root canal. I'm very pleased with the entire experience. The whole thing was the best dental experience of my life. I can't believe that I'm looking forward to my next root canal. Okay, maybe not "looking forward," but not dreading. Monday I get my new crown and I'll be set until I can figure out if I have enough dental benefit to do the next tooth now or in January.

I went back to the gym today this afternoon. I stuck with the bike since my foot has still been bothering me. It felt so good to sweat my ass off. Since getting home, my foot has been bothering me, but not to the extreme as it has been. It's still not good, but it's tolerable. It really pisses me off that as I'm just finishing up taking care of one part of me that's falling apart, this has to happen. Some days it feels like I can't catch a break for anything.

Wedding plans are still gelling. I got very emotional this week when one particular plan was confirmed. I can be such a big girl sometimes. This Sunday Ken is psyched to be going to a Gay & Lesbian Wedding Expo. I could care less to go, honestly, but it'll make him happy.

I mentioned a few posts ago about planting a garden. It's finally motivated Ken to get cracking. Last weekend we bought some plants and the other night he finally planted them. He's learned so much in the past from gardening. He actually planted them all far enough apart that as they grow, they won't grow over each other. The bed looks pretty sparse right now, but it'll look great once they start growing.

PotA

2011-08-05T20:03:00.003-04:00

Ugh

2011-08-02T20:36:00.003-04:00

My foot has been killing me for two days. I'm not sure what's going on, but it really, really hurts. Some sort of wacky joint pain. I sitting at home tonight rather than sweating my balls off and now I'm feeling full of guilt for the cupcakes I had today. Add to that my sciatic nerve is yelling at me. It's been so quiet for a long, long time now and all of a sudden it's awake. I don't know if the foot pain and the sciatic pain are connected, but they're both in the same leg. Here's hoping that (a) the scale doesn't start screaming at me (b) the pain leaves quickly. I've got too much on the horizon happening for this to happen now. Ugh.

1,200 Mile Update

2011-07-31T19:25:00.000-04:00

Today ends another month. That means an official 1,200 Miles update. As of this writing, I've gone 1,925.68 miles either by walking around the neighborhood, walking on the treadmill, riding the stationary bike or using the elliptical. In my wildest dreams I never thought I would have made it this far. And I still have five months left to run my total up. I figure that if I maintain this pace, I'll have no trouble hitting 3,000 miles before it starts getting too cold out. I'm so proud of myself for not only working towards this goal, but never wavering. It helps that I get very competitive with myself. And I obsess. I constantly try to outdo myself. There are a lot of days I just want to sit in my office and play stupid online games and waste the entire night away, but I still manage to put that out of my head and go do something good for myself. The me of four years ago would have laughed until he choked if anyone told him that this would be in his future. That same fat guy still lives inside of me and is constantly trying to make me (and many times succeeding) do bad things to myself. I do end up feeling extremely guilty every time I falter and end up eating a big bowl of ice cream, so that is progress. I just wish the will power I had when I first started dieting was still with me. That first year I wouldn't even look at ice cream or cookies or cake or any of that stuff. Now it takes everything I have to look away, and I don't succeed as much as I'd like. But I'm doing something right because I'm maintaining my weight right where I like it. My stomach has been feeling flabbier than usual lately, which troubles me, but I'm obviously losing someplace else to balance it out.

To put the 1,925 miles into some kind of perspective for me, I looked at Google Maps to see how far that would take me from my house. It takes me to Saskatchewan, Canada. Or New Mexico. Or Colorado. Or Wyoming. Or Texas. It boggles my mind when I look at the map that way.

We're getting closer to getting all the details hammered out for our upcoming wedding. The biggest hurdle we're facing right now is where we're going to eat. Ken, I feel, is being too restrictive in his needs/demands and it's annoying me. I'm trying to just go with the flow and let him have his day, but sometimes that's hard for me to do. But I'm working on it. Ultimately, I guess I shouldn't care. I care more about Ken and the handful of friends that will be on hand than anything else. I'll just let Ken worry about the details since he's got more issues with them than I.

I'm looking forward to this week. Sort of. It's another four day work week. Friday I go and have the final part of my root canal done, then Monday I get my new crown and this round of dental woes should be done with. I'm afraid I'm not going to have enough dental benefit left to get the other root canal I'm in need of this year, but I've lived with this tooth the way it is for (I think) three years, so six more months isn't going to kill me.

Update And Stuff

2011-07-29T20:48:00.004-04:00

I've been burning the candle at both ends again, it seems. Little time for much of anything. This weekend is promising to be more on the quiet side than the last couple.

Last weekend my friends George and Steve were up from NYC. Steve was conducting a workshop in Syracuse on Sunday and thought it might be nice to make a weekend of it. They arrived on Saturday morning and we spent the day hanging out. It's only the second time they've been here since we moved, though I was sure it was their fourth or fifth. I was wrong. We spent a while just hanging out at home, which turned out to be a bit of a tragedy. George and I were in my office in the basement geeking out while Steve and Ken were upstairs talking about vacations. At one point Ken got up and somehow caught his foot on the coffee table. He was pretty sure he broke a toe. There's not much they can do for a broken toe, so he sucked it up and we went on with our day. The next morning, when the foot wasn't feeling any better (worse actually), he went to the doctor only to find out he broke his foot in two places. They wrapped him up and sent him home, telling him to go to the real doctor on Monday. (He went to urgent care.) He was going to blow off the doctor's appointment on Monday, but I convinced him to go. And it's a good thing he did, because he found out the he didn't break it in two places, it was actually three. He's doing much better now, but he still hurts.

The weekend before last we had plans to host a game night at our house. We have a regular group of friends we do game night with, but it's hard to get together too often. One of the couples has two small kids, which makes it hard. And we all live pretty far apart now. We live furthest away from the couple with kids and that's probably an hour and a half. When we do get together, it's usually at the friends' house in between. But we got to host for the first time, which was great. It's been probably two years since all our schedules allowed us to get together for this. And earlier that day, my old friend Marla stopped by the house. I haven't seen her in probably two years. She lives outside NYC. The night before she texted me asking if I was going to be around. She was going to be in the area and wanted to stop by.

So the last two weekends have been full of good friends, socialization and over eating. This weekend is going to be much quieter. The only plan on hand is to try to firm up wedding plans. We've got a basic idea of what and when, but no specific details other than a date.

An update to my gardening post a couple weeks ago. All my plants are doing extremely well. They all seem very happy in the garden. I was worried because of the amount of rock in the soil, but it doesn't seem to be effecting them. The only issue I'm having is my Euonymous is being eaten by something. I think the rabbits that live in the forever wild area are stopping by and treating it as an all-you-can-eat buffet. The plant is still happy, just being eaten. I need to get something to keep the rabbits away. I'm sure they make something for that.

Today was the second of three visits to the endodontist for my root canal. Last week was the removal of the roots. Today he cleaned out the tooth and then next week he seals it up. I don't know how it was possible, but he numbed me up even more than he did last week (and last week's numbing was the strongest I'd ever had.) My face felt like Mary Jo Buttafuoco's must feel. I like that I was left alone in the office a couple of times during today's procedure. I got to snap a couple of pictures. I know I could have done it with him in the room, but it felt better doing it while I was alone.

The novacaine is taking effect.

Now I'm numb. Bring on the drilling!

Say "ahhhh"

The other day I was at work and a thought hit me. I realized I wasn't feeling anything in my mouth. The pain that I'd come to accept as a normal mouth feeling was suddenly gone. I've been living with this stupid dental pain for too long. It really kind of pisses me off that I don't do a better job of taking care of myself. Once I'm finished with this root canal and crown, I need to see how much of a dental benefit I still have left with my insurance. I'm hoping there's still enough left to get the second root canal I'm in desperate need of. That tooth has been hurting a lot longer than the one I'm having worked on now, though not as extreme. I'm anxious to see how my mouth is going to feel once that pain is gone. It's been hurting for so long and I'm so used to it, I probably have no idea how much it's been bothering me. Does that make sense?

Another Goal SMASHED

2011-07-27T20:40:00.000-04:00

So I hit my 1,200 mile goal for 2011 about six months early. When I hit it, I established a new goal, which was 1,844 miles. That is the distance, front door to front door, from my house to Freddy's house in Austin, Texas. Today I smashed that goal by about 17 miles. And dammit, I feel great!

Quickie

2011-07-25T21:37:00.000-04:00

Had weekend guests who just left today and am trying to catch up on things I let slide all weekend because of them. Hopefully will post a rather dull and boring update in the next day or so. Until then, please enjoy this photo of Aretha Franklin.

Self Improvement

2011-07-20T20:27:00.003-04:00

I let negativity in too easily and find it hard to let go of. I let myself get so easily defeated over everything. These are two things I'm constantly working on improving about myself, but it's hard. I've had 45 years of perfecting this behavior. It's going to take a long time to break it.

Today was my root canal. I wasn't looking forward to it at all. I wanted it done, but I didn't want to deal with the unpleasantness of the procedure. But I sucked it up, tried to put on my big boy pants and just do it. I have to say that this was probably the single most pleasant dental experiences I've ever had. The dentist was great, he actually listened to me and he did a great job. He numbed me up better than I've even been before. I didn't feel a thing. I was prepared for feeling pain, so I spent most of my time in the chair tensed up. I wish I had more faith in him and let myself relax, but I think that can happen next time.

After the dentist, I came home, vegged out a bit and then decided to hit the gym. I figured that if my mouth was going to hurt and make me not want to go, it would be later. So I took advantage of still being all numbed up. By the time I was finished, I was starting to feel my face again. I was told to try avoid eating until I could feel again so I didn't accidentally eat my tongue or face. So after the gym, Ken and I headed to the diner to eat. I was hesitant to put any pressure on the right side of my mouth, but I took a little bite here and a little bite there. There was no sharp pain shooting through my head. I was so relieved. Until... I took a big gulp of iced tea and then I had the same shooting pain I've had for weeks. I don't even know how this is possible. The nerve in that tooth is gone. I should be feeling nothing. It really turned my mood around from a really good one to a really horrible one. All I kept thinking to myself is that no matter what, I can't win.

After we got home from the diner, I set about making my lunch for work tomorrow. I bring a big ol' salad every day. I had an idea while I was making it. I took a cold piece of chicken and held it on my root canalled tooth. I felt nothing. I then held it on the crowned tooth next to it and I instantly felt shooting pain. I tried this two more times just to be sure. The crowned tooth that's giving me problems has been giving me problems since before I got the crown. My dentist insisted that a crown was all I needed to fix that tooth. After the crown was on, the tooth still hurt. Not knowing how things worked, I just assumed that I was going to need a new crown and insurance certainly wasn't going to cover that, so I just ignored it. Only recently did I find out that a root canal could be done right through a crown. So it's been in the back of my head that I need to address this sooner or later. Turns out that I'm going to need to address it sooner rather than later. I've been living with the cold sensitivity for weeks now. I'll be able to handle it a few more weeks.

I spent a while this afternoon just trying to shake the "oh woe is me" funk I allowed myself to fall into. Figuring out that it was not the tooth I had worked on today helped a little. I forced myself to get up and go out for a walk. I needed to get out of the house and walk some of my frustration off. I'm glad I did. Although I'm not doing cartwheels and singing songs about how wonderful the world is, my mood is definitely getting better. I'm still learning how to process things and not let them get me down. I'm doing better than I used to, but I still have a long way to go.

Dentistry

2011-07-19T21:25:00.000-04:00

I've been bad at blogging lately, so I don't remember what I've said about my teeth. I could look back, but that would take the effort of two or three mouse clicks, god forbid.

Last week I went in to get a new crown on one of my lower molars. I've known I needed one for a long time now, but as is my nature, I've been putting it off. A few months back, I chomped down on a popcorn kernel and the tooth has been pretty bad ever since. I was convinced by the amount of pain I was in that I was going to need a root canal. My dentist disagreed, so I went behind his back for a second opinion. The other dentist also didn't see the need for a root canal. She swore a crown was all I was going to need. I was still pretty sure neither of them knew what they were talking about, but I agreed to go in for the crown.

My appointment was in the late morning. It took quite a bit of novacaine to numb me up. The first shot didn't do it. The second one didn't either. The third one did. And it took most of the afternoon for it to wear off. When it did, I realized that I still couldn't put any pressure on the tooth. It was actually hurting more than before the appointment. I called the dentist and asked how long it should be before I could use the tooth. I was told it would take probably about an hour from when I left the office. So I explained my problem. Unfortunately, the dentist was already gone for the day and I'd have to wait until the next day for a call back. When I did get the call back, I was told to rinse the tooth in warm salt water. I have no idea what this was supposed to achieve, but I followed orders. I asked how long I should give this before calling back. She said to give it a couple of days. So I did. This was Thursday and the office is closed on Friday, so I gave it until Monday. At which point I called back and let them know I was now able to lightly chew bread with that tooth and nothing more. Another hour or so passed before I got a call back and was given a referral to an endodontist. So guess who is getting a root canal tomorrow morning? I'm not sure what I'm more pissed off at. The fact that no one will listen to me or the unexpected expense of it all. It's not going to be cheap and I don't even know how much my insurance is going to cover.

Think good thoughts for me. It's been a decade (or longer) since the last time I've done this. I don't even remember what to expect other than a mouth full of pain. Remember, my bottom teeth do not like to numb up easily at all.

Planting

2011-07-19T21:11:00.000-04:00

I've just about had it with the lack of landscaping we've done with the house. Last year we made a conscious decision to ignore it in favor of getting the interior of the house in the shape we wanted. This year was supposed to be all about the outside. Well, it's the middle of July and we've done next to nothing. For this I blame Ken and his lack of motivation. He's the one with the green thumb. He enjoys plants and gardening and all that jazz. I could, for the most part, care less. I'm not all that interested in gardening. I don't know much about flowers and plants other than what I like. The amount of interest I have in gardening is minimal. At the last house, I was given a small patch in the garden to do whatever I wanted with. As the spring disappeared and summer started dawning on us, I asked for a small area in which I could plant stuff. Ken, at least in his head, has plans for just about every decent spot on the property, so I was given a slightly less favorable area. I don't really care, I just wanted to throw something in the ground that I would enjoy. The spot he let me have was on the side of the house where the gas meter is and near where we keep the trash cans. But I took it. It was small and just big enough to hold my interest. Over the July 4th weekend, I went out and loaded up on some plants and started my garden.

I'm particularly drawn to succulents. I don't know what it is about them. It could be because they are low maintenance and that really appeals to me. I just love the way they look, too. I don't know much about them, but I do know I like them. I picked up a couple hens & chicks, some sedem and got to planting.

I loved the idea of laying stone instead of mulch. I really like the way it looks, especially with the succulents.

On the other side of the gas meter, I planted a euonymous (I'm not quite sure of the spelling), another plant I love. I had one at the last house and that thing just grew like gangbusters. My goal is to have it grow enough to camouflage the gas meter somewhat. I don't really care that the meter is there, but I know it would drive Ken crazy if he was to plant near it.

One bit of landscaping we did do together was to plant a few trees. We had a tree in the front yard that died shortly after we moved in. We bought a red maple to replace it and planted it the weekend before last. I forgot to snap a picture of it. We also planted three river birch trees along the edge of our property. These should be fairly fast growers and I hope they really take off. We put them along the edge of the usable property and the forever wild area. The main goal we have for these trees is to block some of the view of the park next door to us.

These trees should thrive along side the forever wild area. They love the moisture that tends to collect there. I'm hoping for the best for them.

I wasn't all gung ho to be moving into a house next door to a playground, but it really hasn't turned out to be anything like I'd imagined. The kids playing there can be noisy, but we had more noise coming from the Taco Bell parking lot we lived next to in the last house. My only real issue with it is the God awful colors the playground equipment is painted. I know it's supposed to look fun, but it looks more like an eyesore to me than anything. But we have the forever wild area between us and as you can see, it's really rather beautiful to look at. Next year, I want to find some plants to put in there to enhance it's beauty and to bring some extra color to it. I have no idea what, but I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

I Know You Don't Give A Shit....

2011-07-10T19:07:00.000-04:00

...but here's my weekend update.

I know I often comment that by Sunday night I'm exhausted, but this Sunday night, I feel even more so than usual. While the weekend wasn't jam packed with stuff, I kept pretty damn busy and it's taken the life out of me. I was very excited to see that we had nothing on the agenda for the weekend. I love those weekends where there's nothing but time to enjoy.

Saturday started like most Saturdays. I forgot to lock the cats out of the bedroom and Ollie started trying to wake me up starting at seven. I usually get up at 5:30 during the week, so he's used to eating breakfast before six. When six passes, he starts to worry. So I got up relatively early and fed the cats and signed on to the computer for a short bit until Ken woke up. We started talking about how beautiful a day it was already and decided that it would be a shame not to get out and do something. Anything. So we headed out. We were thinking about going to this one restaurant for dinner, but decided to hit it up for lunch instead. We trekked to Schenectady (ugh) only to find that they don't do lunch on Saturdays. Plan two was to go for burritos across the street, which to be honest, I was much happier with. The place we went to, Bombers, makes these ginormous burritos. And me being the freakshow that I am instantly started regretting the meal once it settled in my stomach. It was amazing, though. Amazing. So my neuroses drove me to the gym later that afternoon.

After lunch we went and started to look at wedding rings. Since we're planning on making it legal in the coming months, we need to get the ball rolling. We only hit one place and they were kind of busy and it was hard to get to the case with the rings, so we scrapped it. Next stop was a nursery. We've been in the house over a year now and have still done nothing in the way of landscaping. That's Ken's department and something I don't care too much about. I do like to have nice flowers and plants, but I don't know one from another, nor do I care. But we stopped because I was sick of having nothing. I wanted to plant something. I ended up with a bunch of succulents. I really like them and I think they look nice.

When we got home, I hit the gym and got home to shower and hit the diner. This was not an eat at home weekend. Saturday night I finished up watching my Planet of the Apes box set. Friday night I watched the last two movies and Saturday I watched the documentary bonus disc. I loved this series growing up. I haven't watched them since I was a small boy. I remembered parts of the first, third and fifth movie and really didn't remember much of the second and none of the fourth. It was great fun watching them over the last few weekends. Next up is Dynasty Season 5. It was released on Tuesday and arrived in the mail on Saturday!

Today was much busier than yesterday. The feline alarm clock got me up at the crack of dawn again. Fed the cats, hit the gym and got home to find Ken sitting out back. I mentioned to him that I saw the nursery delivered the trees he bought last week and he was surprised by this. He never heard the delivery truck drop them off. I assumed he was awake and sitting out back because of that. He bought four new trees to landscape with. One to replace a tree that had died and three others to border our property line. After a stop at Lowe's and Home Depot, I did the grocery shopping and got home in time to help him plant the one tree. It took quite a while, but we got it in and it looks great. Next up was to plant the plants I bought yesterday. The stops I made at the hardware stores was for stone. I decided that rather than mulch, stone would look much better with the succulents. Ken was opposed to it at first, but he really likes the way it turned out and is now contemplating doing this in another area. I need one more bag of stone to finish up the garden. I thought I had enough, but I was just a bit short. Looking over the garden once it was finished, I'm sure I planted some of the plants a little too close together. I can always move them next year if that's the case, though. I hope they survive where I planted them. There was considerable stone in the ground. I'm optimistic, though.

Sitting in the sun all afternoon really sucked the life out of me. I bought burgers and stuff to grill for dinner, but neither of us had any energy to cook, so we went out again. I'm still feeling really full, which is good, but I want ice cream, which is bad.

Oh, I totally forgot. On Saturday, while at they gym, I did the stationary bike. I like the bike because I can exercise AND play with my iPhone at the same time. I checked Grindr and this 24 year old kid messages me. He wanted to blow my in the worst kind of way. I'm so bad at flirty chat. I should have kept him talking longer, but I didn't. He sent me a pic of his shaved belly and pubes, but no doinger shot. If I was a better flirter, I could have gotten one, I'm sure. The whole time we were chatting, I kept wondering what the fuck was wrong with this kid that we wants to get in MY pants? I'm old enough to be his dad.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Daleks

2011-07-04T18:46:00.000-04:00

Sunday

2011-07-03T20:16:00.000-04:00

How happy am I that this isn't the end of the weekend? So happy. There just aren't enough Monday holidays. Since leaving retail, I've looked forward to them like you wouldn't believe. I'm still not at the place where I feel comfortable taking the prior Friday off, as well. These retail scars are still hard to shake, nearly six years later.

I haven't mentioned it here before, but I've been having some dental issues. I have a tooth with a small crack in it. It bothers me on and off, but never too severely. Since it's not too severe, I just let it be. About six weeks ago I bit down hard on an unpopped popcorn kernel. And it hurt. Bad. And I believe it made the crack a little bit worse. I knew it was time to have the tooth addressed. My dentist no longer does root canals, so I looked through the phone book and found a dentist who not only does them, but also takes my insurance. I called and made an appointment, but because of the way my insurance works, it was going to be just over two weeks before I could get in and be covered. It was a long two weeks. I couldn't put any pressure on the tooth and I had to be careful drinking anything cold because that hurt like hell, too. I finally get in, she does her exam and tells me I need a crown, but the way the tooth looks, a root canal is unnecessary. I was a little annoyed. Mostly because my opinion was the incorrect one. I could have saved myself a couple of weeks pain and aggravation by just making an appointment with my regular dentist to have this done. I have the appointment now, but it's still over a week away. Luckily some of the pain is subsiding and my mouth doesn't feel nearly as bad. I just want this to be over with already. I also wish my parents taught me better dental hygiene growing up. I wouldn't have as big of a mess of a mouth as I do now.

I promised myself 2011 was going to be all about taking care of myself. I think I'm doing an okay job of it so far, but this whole dental thing should have been addressed way earlier than now. The year is already half over.

Today I hit a new high (or is that a new low?). I got on the scale and it's the first time I've ever seen my weight at 185. I've come close to it before, but today I weighed in at 185.8 lbs. I didn't believe it, so I weighed myself again. And again. And again. And again. Five times and it came up 185.8 all five times. Of course, I fear this may backfire on me. I've worked really hard at keeping my weight in the high 180s. I've also been promising myself to kick back a little with working out. My logical and emotional sides are now duking it out over this. If I slow down, I'll gain weight. If I keep up the pace, I'll keep down the weight. Aaarrrrgggghhhhh! Today at the gym should be a sign. My body just didn't want to do it. I usually get on the elliptical and set it at level 14. Today I had to bring it down to level 12 and I was still having problems working out. I usually go for 70 minutes, but today pushed with all my might to do 55 minutes. My body was telling me enough is enough. This makes me wonder if I'll go tomorrow. I'd like to since I'm off work, but my body may want to kick me in the nuts for doing it.

I was just looking at the calendar and realized that July (and the rest of the summer, for that matter) is really filling up with socializing. I'm actually looking forward to more than less of it. And it looks like it's going to be a busy summer. Yeah!

1,200 Mile Update

2011-07-01T20:29:00.000-04:00

Another month, another mileage update. I'll save you all the charts and graphs and crap. Firstly, I'm sure you don't give a shit, but more importantly, I'm feeling too lazy to produce said charts and graphs and crap.

Mileage wise, I had my best month ever. Nine of my workouts were on the stationary bike, and I generally clock about 22 miles each time I use it. That certainly help up the number of miles this month. It also killed my legs, but I think that's the point. Another thing that helped was my persistence. I missed just four days at the gym in June. However, one of those days, I made two separate visits, which, in retrospect, was fucking stupid. I was so sore by the end of the second visit that all I wanted to do was go lay down.

My original goal of 1,200 miles was smashed at the beginning of June. My new goal is my home away from home, which would be my friend Freddy's house in Austin, Texas. According to Google Maps, doorstep to doorstep is 1,844 miles. As of the end of June, I'm about 325 miles away. Tonight I did just over 22 miles on the bike, so I'm really just over 300 miles from my next goal. I'd like to think I can smash this next goal by the end of the month, but I keep promising myself I'm going to take it a little bit easier this month with working out. I also made that promise last month and look how that worked out.

Part of the excessive gym use in June was my diet. I've been overdoing it with what I've been eating. It's not so much what I'm eating for my meals, but it's all the in between snacking. When I'm at home, I'm fine, but lately, work has been driving me to eat, mostly out of boredom, but sometimes out of frustration. And at work, I'm chowing down on candy. Crap candy. Which makes me pissed at myself, which forces me out to the gym. July needs to be different.

Scouting For Girls - Love How it Hurts

2011-06-28T06:11:00.000-04:00

Mish Mash

2011-06-26T19:01:00.000-04:00

Sunday evening, I've had a couple beers and I feel like blogging, but I don't know what I want to talk about. I know there's stuff sitting in my head waiting to come out, but I'm sure that's not going to be any of this.

I love that right now, two beers is all it takes to get me buzzing. I've always been a cheap date, but this is getting ridiculous. I love that we have beer in the house right now. We don't usually keep too much, if any, on hand, but we've got leftovers from last weekend when we had the Danburys here. I purposely don't buy beer because if it's here, I'll drink it. It's one of the few areas in my dietary life where my self control is in full effect. Ken will occasionally buy beer, but we have differing tastes in it that it's not a temptation to me. I like dark beer. The darker the better. It tastes so good to me. Ken can't stand it. He's my polar opposite and likes the lighter beers. I don't mind them, but I'd much rather drink something I can't see through.

Friday night was pretty emotional in my house. I wasn't going to watch the NY Senate debate and ultimately shoot down the marriage equality bill again, but I turned the tv on just before going to bed and I watched the tail end of it. And I don't know what happened, but the bill actually passed. It passed. In New York State, it's now legal for me to marry my partner of seventeen years. I'm really not prepared for this. I really never thought in my lifetime that this would be a possibility. I know I could drive to Mass or Connecticut and get married if I wanted to, but because it wasn't legal in NY, it didn't seem like it would count. Sure, New York will recognize same-sex marriages performed in other states, but until this weekend, it wasn't legal to actually do it in New York. Now that that's changed, I have every intention of marrying Ken. My biggest dilemma is how we're going to do this. Do we have a big ceremony? Do we keep it small and intimate? Do we elope? Do we just do it now and have a big party later? I'm really lost as to what we do next. I'm not one who likes to be the center of attention (in general), so having a big wedding bash doesn't feel like me. I would like to celebrate it with my friends, but I just don't know how yet. Ken would love to do a destination thing. He figures that since a large percentage of our friends do not live locally, they'd have to travel if they wanted to come anyway, so why not go someplace fun? I kind of like this idea, but it wouldn't really include the wedding part since we'd have to have the ceremony here in the first place. Too many things to sort out first. My head is still spinning and I imagine it will for a little while longer. Tomorrow I get to face the deluge of questions and comments from co-workers. Joy.

I've been on a big Adam Ant/Adam & The Ants kick for the last week. I don't know what brought it on, but I'm enjoying revisiting the music. And because I can get lost at Wikipedia for hours and hours and hours and hours, I ended up on Adam's wiki page and discovered he's got a new album coming out sometime in 2012. How excited am I?

I bought a tub of ice cream today when I was out grocery shopping. I was really craving it earlier, but now I'm feeling guilty that I bought it. I could have gotten away with getting a smaller container of ice cream, but the flavor I was craving (it's chocolate smothered in ribbons of peanut butter) didn't come in a smaller container. But fuck it. I work my ass off keeping in shape. I deserve a treat.

I dragged Ken to see Green Lantern this weekend. I haven't been to a movie in a couple years (seriously. The last thing I saw in the theaters was For Your Consideration.) and I really wanted to see this. Usually I end up waiting for the dvd and I'm just as happy about it. This movie, while I did enjoy it, would have probably been a better dvd than movie theater choice. It really failed to hit the mark it should have hit. I'm not sure exactly where it went wrong. I thought the cast was well chosen and they all hit their marks. (Well, except for Tim Robbins, who felt like he was just there for the paycheck.) I thought the overall story wasn't bad. I think what it was for me was there was minimal action. It took forever for it to start and then it seemed to end way too quickly. There was entirely too much standing around and talking rather than doing, if that makes sense. I went with Ken, who knows nothing about comics. We went in with different eyes and came out with the same opinion of the movie, which is rare for a movie like this. They tried to cater to both the comic book fans by giving us lots of backstory and inside things that non-comic fans wouldn't get. They tried to cater to non-comic fans, as well, but in trying to please both groups, they failed. There was too much backstory for the casual movie goer. So much of it was unnecessary to the movie and it held things back. The comic fans already know this stuff and didn't need a primer on it. They could have done away with a lot of it and replaced it with actual action and it would have been a much better movie. There was one huge plus to this movie for me and that was the guy who played Sinestro. Although he didn't get to do much of anything but speak, he nailed that role like no one else could have. Of all the comic book movies I've ever seen, he was the most perfect casting of an existing comic book character. Ever. The sequel (if there is one) should heavily feature him. I hope they learn from their mistakes of this first film if they do get to do a second.

You've Come A Long Way Baby

2011-06-21T21:52:00.001-04:00

I've been feeling pretty damn good about my body lately. It's a rarity, for sure. I have a distorted view of what I think my body really looks like. I look in the mirror, but I don't see what other people see. I still see myself as being much bigger than I really am. Not as big as I used to be, but definitely not as slim as I really am. In fact, it's rare that I would use the word slim to describe myself. Anyway, a week or so ago I was feeling extra positive about how I looked, so I snapped a picture to remind me of this. And then I thought nothing about it until tonight when I was loading pictures from my phone to the computer. I'm glad I took this because I was going to write a little blog post about the next picture.

Over the weekend, my friend Lori posted this picture of me and Lynn on her Facebook page. I got a notification that I was tagged in a picture, so I went and found it. And my jaw nearly hit the ground. I immediately posted a comment on the picture saying something along the lines that I couldn't believe how horrible a picture it was. I didn't say that because I was mad that she posted in. In fact, I was so excited she did. But she took it the wrong way and removed the picture. It bummed me out because I went to go make it my profile picture, but it was gone. I had her send it to me so I could repost it and make it my profile picture.

This is the single most disgusting picture I've ever seen of myself. I cannot believe that I ever let myself get to that point. I knew I was fat, but much like I have difficulty seeing myself as slender now, I had a really hard time as seeing myself as grossly obese. Looking at the picture right now makes me feel like someone just hit me in the back of the head with a solid wood baseball bat. And it also fills me with so much self-esteem, something I lack most days. I am so fucking proud of all that I've accomplished with my body in the nearly five years since I committed to getting healthy. Two years to lose the weight and now nearly three years at my goal. I'm Superman!

Weekend Pictures

2011-06-21T21:39:00.000-04:00

Within minutes of arriving, The Danburys found the liquor stash. We made sure it was stocked up good and tall. I know what it's like having to deal with me for an extended period of time. The liquor made it easier for them just like it does for Ken.

Off to Lake George for the parade. For a moment, I thought we were in the middle of Footloose.

Before anything else, we stopped in a Christmas shop. The boys were in search of some ornaments from a series they collect. Me, I just poked around and found this!

Kevin, pre-parade.

After the pit stop, we headed back to the car so Kevin could gather his marching gear. Here, Brian attempts to demonstrate the proper usage of Kevin's disco stick.

Ken and Brian

Ken

Kevin, leading his group.

Kevin, all business.

Kevin, leading on to victory. His group ended up winning first place during the judging part of the parade. I had no idea that besides just marching, all the different groups were competing for prizes. There were so many different drum corps and other groups marching. But no one was better! I take full credit for this, naturally.

After the parade, we headed home, Kevin showered, we had beverages and unwound for a bit before heading out to dinner.

Brian and I had calamari

Totally out of character for me, but I got a baked veggie wrap. I did enough damage earlier in the day with McDonalds and a big ass burrito (which was heavenly).

Dessert was had at the ice cream shop at the drive-in around the corner from the house. I got a large cookie dough, even though I wasn't hungry. The Danburys practically forced me to get it.

And if that's not bad enough, the following morning they forced me to get the french toast covered in fruit, whipped cream and ice cream. One had to hold me down while the other force fed me. All I wanted was a small slice of cantaloupe.

The weekend got two thumbs up.

Monday Blah

2011-06-20T20:59:00.000-04:00

Still really tired from the last few days. Kevin & Brian, aka The Danburys, were here this weekend. Kevin was marching in the Fireman's Parade in Lake George on Saturday, and we decided to make a full weekend of them being here. I had a lot of fun. I got to be hateful and wretched without Ken yelling too much at me. Sounds like a winning weekend to me!

I allowed myself to indulge in food that I've been really good about staying away from. I had an amazing burrito in Lake George. I had ice cream for dessert Saturday night and then again for breakfast on Sunday morning. I would normally feel like crap for eating like an eleven year old boy left home alone for a week, but not so much. It felt nice. I did end my eight day run of being under 190 lbs, but it was worth it. It'll take me a couple days to get back there, so I know it should be pretty easy.

I have some pictures, but I haven't moved them from my phone to the computer yet, so I'll post them later.

Just In Time For This To Fail (Yet Again) In New York

2011-06-20T20:50:00.000-04:00

Nothing, Really

2011-06-15T21:10:00.000-04:00

Today was the sixth day in a row that I weighed in at less than 190 lbs. This has never happened before in my adult life. Lately I've been hovering right around the 190 mark, but this is the longest run I've had below it. I've been working my ass off trying to maintain it and I'm succeeding. I've got company coming this weekend and I know I'll blow it then, but for now I'm enjoying the hell out of it.

I just bought some new shorts over the weekend. Size 34 waist. And I've found that they're loose on me. I've also noticed my pants seem a little bit looser, too. I can't believe that I might be working my way down another size. I'm not trying to do that. I don't want to do that. But it looks like it's happening. I don't want to have to go and buy all new clothes again. I thought I was done with that. We'll see how things go, though. The fact that I'm in a 34 at all still, to this day, blows my mind. I don't remember EVER being in anything smaller than a 36 growing up, getting all the way up to a 44. I amaze myself sometimes.

Surprise packages in the mail make me happy. Especially when I'm having a crappy kind of day. I got one today and I'm still smiling thinking about it.

Shit. There was one other completely unrelated thing I wanted to say and now it's gone.

The Mercy Seat

2011-06-13T20:57:00.000-04:00

I have been playing this song over and over again today. I just can't get enough of it.

Comic Book Post Update

2011-06-11T09:05:00.000-04:00

DC has now released the solicitations about what is going to be in the first issue of each of their new books. It gives me a slightly better picture of the new directions these books are taking. I have to say that after reading those descriptions, I'm definitely off the fence on the titles I was on. I'm going to be reading even less than what I initially thought.